What jobs do your tweens and teens do around the house?

[MerylSqueak]

We want to come up with a list of housework type jobs around the house that DCs age 11 and 13 can do to earn their Xbox and phone subscriptions respectively. We've done this informally until now and DS us pretty good but I'm having to argue with and ask DD all the time now so I want to try making it more formal. I've got a wee list but wanted to check others' ideas.

Thank you.

Mine are older now but cooked a meal each week, sorted washing, did quite a lot of DIY (the older one kitted out his own workshop and is good at that sort of thing), gardening, feeding the hens, hoovering and steam mopping the floors.

One washed up, the other dried.

This was just ordinarily, not to earn anything.

Loading and unloading the dishwasher
Scraping leftovers into the food bin
Hoovering
Making simple dinners together
Putting on a clothes wash
Taking out clothes, folding and taking to appropriate bedrooms
Unloading shopping
Keeping own bedroom tidy
Wiping round their bathroom sink, bleaching the loo

They dont do it all, all the time but a good amount of the time. Id not allow xbox/wifi access until the jobs are done if theyre giving you hassle about doing them or constantly delaying doing it

11 year old Dd empties dishwasher, tidies own room, empties bedroom bins, feeds dog and her own snails, helps with food shop.

DS (12) is responsible for tidying his room, putting his washing away, washing up or drying after each meal, cleaning up after the dogs at the weekend and a rotation of either cleaning the living room, kitchen or hoovering the house on a Sunday morning.

The Sunday morning is a general house tidying session with me, DH and DS having one of the areas each but more gets done as we move around the house to sort it.

DS was talking about chores with his cousins. They don't do any and when their mum asks them to they have a lot of arguments. He told them that no one enjoys doing chores but it's part of being a family, and that you work as a team. I was glad to hear that something I say has sunk in

12 year old empties dishwasher, takes out and retrieves the bins, tidies her room ( ha, ha, ha - she's meant to anyway), and dies off chores like hoovering when asked.

Mine routinely wash up alternate evenings, sort the rubbish and put the bins out and empty the dishwasher. They also change their own beds.

Other than that they do what they're asked when they're asked, anything from cleaning the bathroom, cutting the grass, sweeping the drive, washing the car, hoovering, dusting etc.

I found trying to give them regular chores was more trouble than it was worth because I had to remember that they were supposed to do it and make sure it happened. However, they wouldn't dream of saying no when asked on an ad hoc basis.

I do try to give a bit of notice. E.g. "please can you clean the bathroom tomorrow morning", rather than "please drop what you're doing and clean the bathroom this minute"

Thanks for your ideas. It's really helpful. We have always just asked as and when needed and they've done it but it's getting too much of a chore in itself with DD now.

My 12 year old does

Putting the pots away after I've washed them
Takes folded washing upstairs and puts his own away (6 and 7 year old put their own away too)
Feeds the cats and changes their water
Wipes down the bathroom after he uses it
Will clean the toilet if he's made a mess in it
Hoovers the living room
Dusts along the low down places I can't get to (I'm disabled)
Shakes down the throws from the sofas
Brings down his own and my dirty laundry (little ones bring their own down. It's dangerous for me not to hold on as I use the stairs)
Makes his bed
Sometimes cooks a simple meal
Brings all shopping delivery into the kitchen and helps put it away

Be wary of connecting chores to rewards. You may end up with a stubborn teen who does fuck all because they decide the reward is not worth the effort.

Nothing specific, but if asked I expect them both to chip in. DS2 (12) struggles a bit ( suspected dyspraxia) but with support can achieve most things

DS1 (17) washes the cars, mows the lawn, walks the dog, cooks dinners if asked. He now does his own washing in preparation for going to Uni next year

We have a dishwasher rota for the 3 kids so every 3 days they do it once.
They have to put their own washing / ironing away.
Keep bedrooms tidy,.
Some dog walking, but I really enjoy it so I make them come with me and spend some time with their mum
As and when I will ask them to do specific jobs as I go out the door - so hoover downstairs, hoover upstairs, empty bins.

Mine are 8&10. The jobs they can do (not everyday)

Set the table and clear the table
Load and unload dishwasher (although they can't reach to put away some stuff)
Hoover
Tidying up toys etc
Stripping beds
Laundry (although an adult checks before the start button is pressed)
Watering and weeding
Taking recycling out
Their rooms (hahahahaha)
Putting clothes away
Hanging clothes out (but not towels, bed covers etc)
Dusting
Helping with cooking

Generally they are just expected to help with stuff and learn how to do everything.

Mine are 12,12 and 15. This is what they are expected to do weekly:

• Hoover stairs and upstairs OR clean sinks and toilets (x3) OR clean shower and bath
• put on 1 x wash a week and hang it out
• pair 30 pairs socks once every 3 weeks (so it gets done every week in turns)
• Lay table in turns, clear table if they are not laying
• Make own packed lunches

I do all cooking, shopping, fold all washing as well as doing all the 'extra' washes such as bedding, towels and all mine/ DH stuff, all cleaning other than what they are doing. Apparently I make them do waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than any other Mum and I am not a good Mum.

DH does all washing up, finances and some cleaning.

They get pocket money separately not linked to chores, but they are expected to do chores and would get a different consequence if they didn't such as losing time on technology/ missing meeting up with friends etc.

14yo DD does the washing up daily and all three kids do whatever jobs I ask them to at the time. 11yo DD and 9yo DS at the very minimum put all their laundry away, tidy their rooms etc.

DS is very sweet and will see me or his dad doing something and will jump in to help, like opening the doors for us to carry the bin bag out and then he'll put a fresh bag in the bin. Or if he walks past me and DH and our plates or mugs of tea are finished he'll whisk them away to the kitchen like he's the sodding waiter 😂

The best one for me is when I shout for them all and we do a big clean day. One will grab the duster, another will start wiping down the skirting and door frames, another will start hoovering the place while get stuck in cleaning a bathroom or something while DH gets stuck in with the laundry or mowing the lawn. I love when the house gets a thorough scrubbing.

They all pitch in and can do almost any household job but we don't really have set chores because it's an easy going house where jobs get done when the person is available or notices them (or I call the kids to come do it as I've got my hands full)

Except changing the loo roll.

No one notices until they're stuck on the loo shouting for someone to bring one.

I think if DD is a challenge to get her to do jobs, having set chores is unlikely to help. She still won't do them and you'll have the battle on a regular basis, rather then when you ask - you won't ever be able to have a day off from making sure the chores are done because if she gets away with it once....

Better to give her fewer but bigger jobs and make sure they happen IMO

Also if you're.going to tie them to the phones etc (I wouldn't) you have to be prepared to cancel them when the chores aren't done.

And as it's always been that way, even as toddlers being told to pick up their toys and put them in their toy box or handing them clothes or nappies to put away, we don't get arguments about it. They're fine to request a change/postponement, like, "can I do it after I've straightened my hair/had my shower?" (Or finished their game level etc) and if I say "no, now" it does get done but I'm usually quite accommodating. I'm happy to wait unless they're taking the pee. I've always made sure "What mum/dad says, goes" so I don't take any crap.

@ExpressDelivery

I think if DD is a challenge to get her to do jobs, having set chores is unlikely to help. She still won't do them and you'll have the battle on a regular basis, rather then when you ask - you won't ever be able to have a day off from making sure the chores are done because if she gets away with it once....

Better to give her fewer but bigger jobs and make sure they happen IMO

I think it depends. My ds1 has some ASD traits. He will do virtually anything if it is on a timetable and scheduled/ he is expecting it. If you ask him to help spontaneously, it's very difficult. His brother and sister were away last week and he struggled to lay the table on 'their' days even though I was cooking and dh was washing up. It made logical sense, but it was 'off schedule'.

My 10 year old has to keep his room tidy, keep his bed clear of clothes (he had a habit of leaving his dirty washing under his duvet) and he helps me with the washing every week, my 13 year old keeps her room tidy, feeds the dog and cooks a meal a week and my 16 year old empties the dishwasher, cleans the bathroom, hoovers and cuts the grass (all with supervision as his allowance is a lot larger, he has asd and isn't able to get a job due to his needs)
This gets them their phones paid for, xbox subscriptions and some money each week.

I have never asked them to do anything but they are adult teens now and tend to do all the laundry, fill the dishwasher, cook themselves and me food when they are doing stuff for themselves.

At that age:

• hoover and dust own room once a week
• do a job in weekly family house clean (e.g. clean kitchen/hoovering/ clean bathroom)
• take in turns to lay table and clear away after dinner
• put own clothes away and keep own room tidy
• prep for dinner once a week (progressing to cook once a week)
• make own breakfast and lunch
• weed patio and front border (DD) and cut hedge (DS)
• miscellaneous ad hoc tasks such as emptying dishwasher

I would be wary of linking "routine" chores like these to money though. Basically these chores are expected because they live in this house. They don't have the option to decide they don't want to do them (which they would if we "paid" them for them).

We do pay for chores, but only ones that are out of the ordinary e.g. we paid DS for painting the garden fence. We also pay them for washing the car (as otherwise we'd pay to put it through the car wash).

Yes I am having second thoughts about setting specific tasks for money. She's usually helpful when asked and she is a great cook. She naturally keeps her room and clothes tidy without asking.

What I would like is that she takes more responsibility for routine daily jobs, like drying up and putting away plates etc. I thought this would be ok because she, as MerryMarigold says, doesn't like things being sprung on her bit our trial of one household job she HAS to do every day has been, if I am honest, completely pointless.