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Original poster

Are these behaviours normal for a 21 month old?

25 replies

WhereTheFuck · 05/08/2021 06:42

Just wondering if these are normal, I love abroad and although I.have friends with children they are mostly younger.

  1. Sleeping in cot all night but then waking up at 4.30-5am and crying to come into my bed
  2. Still breastfeeding very enthusiastically at night (not fed to sleep though) and in the morning
  3. Not often listening when told 'no' and sometimes continuing to do whatever it is anyway with a challenging look 😂
  4. Being quite clingy with me. Crying if I leave the room etc

Any advice appreciated, I am a single parent and don't really know if this is normal or not. Thanks 😊

OP posts:
Starjammer · 05/08/2021 06:44

Yes

Albgo · 05/08/2021 06:45

All sounds very normal to me.

Fucket · 05/08/2021 06:49

Yes all normal and I’m still waiting for my children to grow out of number 3. I think that only happens when they leave home.

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badatcrochet1996 · 05/08/2021 06:49

Very normal

20viona · 05/08/2021 06:50

Yes

ihatedoingwork · 05/08/2021 06:51

My son is 2.5 years old. It is normal and now its gone worse where he screams if he say No and we have started bribing him with things he like and believe me if he says no to get into car seat that is real nightmare.
I let him do that for a min what he wants to do and wait patiently ( although inside my head i feel like hitting walls )
Also try to sing a cocomelon song if he likes and put your own words into it like change nappy , drink juice etc . It seems to working on my son.

Original poster
WhereTheFuck · 05/08/2021 06:52

Thanks!
@Fucket Nooo don't say that...
I am a bit concerned about the breastfeeding, not sure how to wean her off it as she loves it so much. Also would really prefer her not to wake up so early, as I have to be up at 6 for work :/
Regarding the not listening when told no, how do you deal with it? How do you stop them from doing something? At the moment I try to move her away and distract her, but that relies on me having my eyes on her constantly..is that just what you have to do?

OP posts:
RainbowCrayons · 05/08/2021 06:54

Yep! Woke up to 'help... I need help' from my 25m DS this morning. He wanted to get in bed with me!

20viona · 05/08/2021 06:57

@ihatedoingwork we are at the same stage and everything is such hard work.

3WildOnes · 05/08/2021 07:00

All completely normal!
Yes, with stopping them doing something you just have to physically move them away and then distract.

Indigopearl · 05/08/2021 07:26

I have a 21 month old too and could have written your post word for word. I thought by now he would be breastfeeding less but he is always after milk if I am around. Mine too wakes up at 5am crying and is pretty clingy.

He seems to find me saying no to him funny at the moment and will deliberately do something that I have said no to in the past whilst babbling no no no and giving me a really cheeky grin. I am saying no less to him and now just reserving it for the most important things and using distraction more.

No idea how to cut down on the breastfeeding without major upset though.

MayorGundersonsDogRufus · 05/08/2021 08:49

Yes, you have to keep your eyes on them constantly at that age. It's exhausting! My best advice is consistency - apply the same rules in the same way with the same consequences and they do eventually learn. Over several years, but they do eventually learn.

Shelovesamystery · 05/08/2021 09:00

All normal. And yes you have to watch them like a hawk at that age unfortunately. I think that they become a lot less hard work near their 3rd birthday. That period between getting mobile and being able to be left to their own devices a bit seems to last forever but it does end.

Littlehouseinthebigcity · 05/08/2021 09:02

All sounds exactly like my 22 month old except the breastfeeding and that's only because we had to go cold turkey when she started waking every hour in the night demanding feeding!! For what it's worth it was an unpleasant week but it really did only take 5 days and we haven't looked back!

ihatedoingwork · 05/08/2021 09:41

[quote 20viona]@ihatedoingwork we are at the same stage and everything is such hard work. [/quote]
I want to take him to day out etc but at this moment we try to stay home as much as we can as its such a hard work to run after him and he does not want to get in the pushchair , if we do manage to get him in the pushchair then the way he takes his feet out to brake the pushchair every second is another hurdle.

i have to sometimes shut my windows from continuous screaming. God knows what our neighbours will be thinking about us.

We only take him to walks etc. He is not breastfed but my MIL introduced him to sweets so apparently he can kill someone in order to get candy ( another american word he learnt from youtube videos he watched Hmm)

He acts like a cool dude in the morning and say Hi mom and Hi Dad and then start yelling first thing to get biscuits.

He is the boss in our house and we watch cocomelon and babybus pretty much all the time . If i say No he screamed the roof out of house and it does not help when DH is working from home

I try to distract him by providing something else which looks more interesting.

It will pass so just hang in there.

The only thing he does good is saying thank you and please which melts my heart and ask me are you okay Mummy ?

The new independence they got it recently will calm down soon.

i dont take stress by trying to be perfect mother . i do it my way and get bit of rest for myself and dont care what people think about me.

I got two older girls aged 10 and 8 and they get irritated as we cant do most of things like they want because of our screaming toddler so we manage to take them out separately and let them enjoy their lives too

ihatedoingwork · 05/08/2021 09:51

And regarding constant attention one of us just always have eyes on him all the time and as they can hurt them from marshmallow apparently Smile.

The amount of stunts they do from jumping sofas is another story and say LOOK LOOK about thousands times a day 😕

Caffeinemonster · 05/08/2021 09:54

Have you tried offering a cup of milk instead? I thought stopping BF would be a problem with both of mine but it really wasn’t. DC2 was about 15 months I think. I dropped the morning feed first and then one day just offered a cup of milk before bed and she downed the lot.

SpamIAm · 05/08/2021 10:04

My DS is just coming up to 20 months.

  1. Goes in his cot when he first goes down but then is in my bed from about 10pm. The boy loves a cuddle (and/or boob).
  1. Boob is his favourite thing. He feeds to sleep then wakes up god knows how many times to feed overnight, or ideally just sleeps with a boob in his mouth. I've stopped feeding him in the day now although he still asks quite a lot/tries to pull my top down.
  1. Saying 'no' results in one of two outcomes. He screams, cries, hits, throws the mother of all tantrums and just generally acts like you've done THE WORST THING EVER to him, or he repeats what he got told not to do with extra enthusiasm and runs away giggling when I try to physically stop him.
  1. He's a cling monster. Sometimes he's alright but sometimes (particularly when he's tired or a bit grumpy) he has a complete meltdown if I dare put him down, never mind go to a different room.

So yeah, you're fine. It's hard work though isn't it!

Original poster
WhereTheFuck · 05/08/2021 13:33

Thanks so much to all of you for the support! It's good to know that DD is normal 😂
There's something else I forgot to ask. She still wants me to lie on the floor of her room while she goes to sleep. In fact i haven't tried not doing this - should I?
Also- If she wakes in the night (which she does occasionally) I don't tend to go in because she usually cries for only about 5 mins and then goes off again. Do you think that's OK? Sometimes it's more like 15 mins but I worried that if I get into the habit of going in to her she will start to expect it and need it.

Sorry for all the questions bit this is genuinely so useful!

OP posts:
KurtWilde · 05/08/2021 13:41

All normal

ihatedoingwork · 05/08/2021 14:09

@WhereTheFuck

Thanks so much to all of you for the support! It's good to know that DD is normal 😂 There's something else I forgot to ask. She still wants me to lie on the floor of her room while she goes to sleep. In fact i haven't tried not doing this - should I? Also- If she wakes in the night (which she does occasionally) I don't tend to go in because she usually cries for only about 5 mins and then goes off again. Do you think that's OK? Sometimes it's more like 15 mins but I worried that if I get into the habit of going in to her she will start to expect it and need it.

Sorry for all the questions bit this is genuinely so useful!

I would go and check on her . I read a article about emotional development of brain , it's important to re assure the child when they are upset about something or crying
Original poster
WhereTheFuck · 05/08/2021 15:23

@ihatedoingwork thanks for your reply, this is what I'm worried about but there is so much conflicting advice! What do you all do when your toddler wakes in the night?

OP posts:
ihatedoingwork · 05/08/2021 16:43

[quote WhereTheFuck]@ihatedoingwork thanks for your reply, this is what I'm worried about but there is so much conflicting advice! What do you all do when your toddler wakes in the night?[/quote]
whether you believe it or not , all my three children are sleeping well from 6 months onwards ,they co sleep with us until the age of 3 and 4 .Its part of our culture children pretty much stay in parents rooms until they are bit older so getting up during night is not something i experienced apart from when they are ill or in pain.

There is no right and wrong in parenting , do as you feel comfortable . No one can know your child better than that. Eventually everything will get easier when they grow up.

3WildOnes · 06/08/2021 13:16

I do the same with you regarding sleep. I sit next to the cot until she falls asleep. If she wakes in the night I give her a few minutes to see if she settles herself and if not I go in and sit with her. She mostly sleeps through.

Notajogger · 06/08/2021 13:24

Mine is exactly the same. But will still only feed to sleep.
I would go and check on her in the night, though, yes.

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