Anyone around for a handhold?

[namechangedlikeeveryone]

I think the last 18 months are catching up with me (running a small business during Covid is no joke) and for some reason I’ve spent today in floods of tears and desperate to contact an ex from some years ago despite the relationship being a disaster.

I have no idea where this is coming from. Usually I have incredibly robust mental health and I’m definitely not a threat to myself but I also have absolutely no idea where this is come from or how to get through tonight. Can anyone chat?

Didn’t want to read and run, sounds like you’ve had a really tricky time and sometimes stuff just hits us from the past. Stay strong and maybe try to find something to occupy yourself?

Hey. I'm on my way to bed but didn't want to read and run. Once, a long time back, a very good friend reminded me it's ok to be sad, mad, just ok some days and that it isn't necessary to always be happy and having the best life. It's ok to bawl your eyes out. Wallow in it. Just try to have a good night's sleep and be kind to yourself whilst you reset. I have often thought back in that when I've been really down. I hope it helps a little for you too.

I've had a shit day too, everything has caught up with me too

Hey op and everyone else here.

I too have had a shitty day after a shitty 15 months of Covid hitting family finances,dh having to work nights permanently again thanks to covid.

I've just sat and filled out an application form for a job as a waitress/kitchen helper/meeter and greeter etc on the only two days I don't work in my full time job.

Yup covid has really fucked our finances

With each month we seem to be robbing one pot to pay another and have had so many extras like big car bills,shoes and clothes for the dc that are now in adult sizes.

I'm so sick of scraping around every month.

Paid from my full
Time employment less than a week ago and I currently have £25 to my name to last me until the end of august when the school uniform and school shoe bill will come in.

My mental health is taking a battering aswel op.

I've been walking a minimum of two miles a day when I'm not at work etc and it's improved my mindset a lot but tonight it's hit me like a brick wall that my full time employment that I've been with for 25 fucking years doesn't actually pay enough or anywhere near what I deserve while the two bosses are looking at buying another property elsewhere for holidaying in

I'm angry and frustrated and mentally tired after years of working my ass off to get where I am,which I've recently realised is not where I wanted to be

My eldest child earns way more than me ffs yet I've spent 25 years focusing on a career that's got me nowhere.

And now I've got to take an extra job just to stay afloat.

Sorry I'm ranting but reading your post struck me because today is the day it's hit me.

Thank you (all of you!). 💛 i’m so tired of being strong. I will get through because there is no other option but I deeply, profoundly wish there was.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor would it help to share what happened? We can commiserate together?

@wtfisgoingonhere21 we cross posted but i totally get you. It is utterly, utterly miserable and I’m so sorry

I agree with the PP, it's important to acknowledge the feelings and it's ok to not 100% understand them at the time. That may not come until later.

How do you feel right now? What's making the night seem hard when you think about it?

OP, do something comforting, be kind to yourself, and rest. Everyone has blips and ups and downs. Hopefully you'll feel different tomorrow.

@namechangedlikeeveryone

Is it a build up of things or one issue?

I get you when you say Youl get through it because your strong and that's what we do but sometimes I get to a stage like this when I've got lots of things going on and wish someone would just come along with a magic wand and just sort everything out

Maybe today is the day for shit days. Have spent most of it in tears. Separated from husband at the start of the year and thought I was doing well.

Spent most of the day sobbing feeling totally alone only to be stood up for a dinner date!

I'm sorry you've had a crap day, running a small business must have been so tough over the last 15 months.

It’s a build up! I was working late which kept me distracted, I’ve had a bath. I had one g&t but don’t think any more booze is a good idea. My house is tidy, there’s a cat snoring on my lap, I’ve got a candle going, a book I’m enjoying, a cup of chamomile tea. I’m just… not OK. It’s ridiculous. I absolutely cannot stop crying.

@SerenShine i’m so sorry. It’s so new for you - and I bet you are doing well, it’s just one day where it all seems to pile up!

[quote namechangedlikeeveryone]@SerenShine i’m so sorry. It’s so new for you - and I bet you are doing well, it’s just one day where it all seems to pile up![/quote]
It's silly isn't. I'm curled up, dog at my feet, drinking spearmint tea and, yeah just hit by an overwhelming urge to cry. Not even a Cadburys Caramel could cheer me up.

I'm envious of your bath, am renting a place with just a shower. Seriously thinking of renting a hot tub for the weekend to relax in 😉.

I hope you get a good night's sleep and wake up feeling better.

What's making you cry, OP?

@SerenShine have the cry. It will feel brighter in the morning (i keep telling myself this but past experience bears it out!)

@Futureself every time I stop being distracted by mumsnet/a film/my book my eyes start leaking. I’m in bed with my kindle, phone and laptop in the hope that i can fall asleep distracted 😂. Also, people being kind to me. And every time I remember how life used to feel (which is why I’m trying to keep myself distracted)

I get that sometimes, just some random emotional overload after a stressful period. No particular trigger needed, although I can usually come up with a story to tell myself and others. Have a good cry, and usually it goes by itself as fast as it came a few hours later. I tend to feel better after

@namechangedlikeeveryone
I'm sorry your feeling so crap and all the other posters here

I have things to be happy about and I know this
However it's hard sometimes isn't it

I'm sat with mindless tv on and distracting myself on here but I've got a 12 hour day tomorrow in my frustrating job with my frustrating bosses and my brain is whirring.

If I go upto bed I will lay there stewing so il make my way up in a bit.

I find the evenings lonely once the dc are settled because dh is on nights permanently so I'm left for too long with my ticking brain

If you want distraction until you fall asleep try some form of audio only.

I struggle to switch off at night whatever I'm feeling. I find light comedy (BBC sounds) really helps or something super familiar (Friends on Netflix). Just listening to the audio is better for sleep than watching something and being kept up by the blue light (I have Friends running with the laptop shut). And you can concentrate on what is being said than your running thoughts.

On the other hand, maybe just let yourself have a good cry. It can feel good some time to just let it out.

How about putting on a silly comedy? Whatever makes you laugh. Get yourself on iPlayer/Netflix and get a daft old programme on x

There are some great posts on this thread
Anyone else sick and tired of being the resilient one? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3883544-Anyone-else-sick-and-tired-of-being-the-resilient-one

I was especially struck by the wisdom of @womanistaken

@namechangedlikeeveryone hope your week has steadily improved?

@Tickly thank you for asking :) I’m doing a bit better now!

@namechangedlikeeveryone glad to hear it