When people on mumsnet say “are you normally this anxious” or “I think you need help with your anxiety”…

[Snoogled]

Do you think it is said kindly? I suspect it sometimes is especially when prefixed with “I say this kindly” but often I think it’s people being mean. Or am I reading this wrong?

Not remotely kind. It’s seriously nasty, disguised as concern. Often it can be a competition as to who can be the most lax. People who think things through have the piss taken out of them on here.

I can’t see the problem with it unless is phrased especially badly, but then I usually tend to think the best of people unless they give me a reason not to. People are quite likely to post about things they’re anxious about, so it’s a fair question. I think it’s a bit strange to conclude that it’s meant in a nasty way, when quite often it’s in response to someone who is coming across as anxious because of something minor.

It’s no good to encourage someone to continue worrying disproportionately about something that isn’t that big a deal for the sake of not wanting to minimise their problem.

Of course it can be meant kindly and if you are an anxious person you will doubt that.

People want to know if they are talking rubbish.

They also don't want to know if they are taking rubbish, so much so that they will argue strongly about it rather than admit their beliefs are rubbish.

is there a kind way to say "your worry is irrational" ?

@Northernsoullover

Its cuntish behaviour.

Agreed

Sometimes though people’s anxieties are beyond anything. About things that shouldn’t cause any loss of sleep over.

As someone who has severe anxiety to the point I hyperventilate just imagining Dd letting go of my hand NEAR a road (not even running across it) or who has spent all night crying because I can’t stop imagining someone breaking into our home and hurting Dd, I can say with absolute honesty that anxiety should be pointed out kindly, and in a way that may encourage help.

Because living with it, especially if you don’t recognise it for what it is, is fucking horrific.

So no I don’t think it’s cuntish to point out. I have done and will continue to because I’d rather upset 30 people if it helps one person realise they don’t have to live that way.