Hi all, new here!
A little back story! My partner and I have been together for 7 and a half years. Our relationship has been great, not without bumps in the road but we’ve been in a great place for a very long time.
Recently, I caught Covid and although I was ok, still very tired etc - he was great. On the final day of isolation, he tested positive and was extremely run down with it and is still suffering with extreme fatigue.
I can’t help but feel as though since lockdown occurred here in England back in 2020 our relationship has lost its spark. The constant time around one another, not seeing friends or family for so long. Unable to take holidays. He’s a key worker and so has been working non-stop and I’ve been working from home also. So we’re very privileged to still be in employment etc however also feeling a little run down as we’ve not had much to look forward to?
I do think that Covid has heightened the problem but I don’t feel a spark anymore and I think it’s understandable? I’m so in love with him but In just feel SO guilty about it. I would never act on this but I constantly find myself dreaming and day dreaming about being with other men - flirting at the bar, going back to their place. Admittedly this is always a celebrity and nobody that I know in real life. However I’m actively engaging in this. I don’t distract myself with something else when having these fantasies - I mentally engage because I crave the excitement and attention - of which I’m not receiving right now as he’s physically not up to it. Our sex life has slowed down a lot recently however we both do make an effort.
I just feel so awful. Should I tell him how I feel? What’s the point in putting this on him when I know how he’s already feeling? Should I put an end to engaging in these day dreams? Or is it completely harmless?