Has anyone been ghosted? I think I am.

[Aztec283y]

Been friends for 10 years now. Our DC are the same age. She's a single mum and I did so much for her when the kids were little. We were really close but as the DC have got older the friendship has naturally drifted. I totally understand this as they're in different schools and a big part of our friendship was based on the DC enjoying eachothers company.

Anyway, to cut a long story short it's become pretty apparent that she's ghosting me. It hurts! I just don't see the need for it. Is it really too difficult to reply to a friendly text, meet for a quick coffee and a catch up every few months and stick a birthday card through the door? I'm asking very little of her. I dont see why she's had to do this. It feels really cruel and disrespectful.

I won't contact her again, I've got the message but it feels so unkind.

It's sad, but happens to most of us at some stage. I became aware an old friend was only replying to my text messages or phone calls, and never instigating them. I left it to her to contact me, and it never happened. Sometimes you just have to move on.

I accidentally ghosted a friend who really judged me about my marriage. I was so embarrassed. Maybe youve done something inadvertently?

"I did so much for her" I avoid people with this attitude too. Nothing worse than those who help you out only to throw it back in your face. Perhaps this is why she's backed off?

Do you have other friends op?

Yes I have, years ago now. It was horrible as I spent way too much time and headspace trying to work out what went wrong.
Sorry it's happened to you op but all you can really do now is move on with your life and make new friends.

People who ignore texts are just rude, it's very easy to keep in touch via text even for the busiest people.

Meeting for coffee and remembering birthdays is another matter. If I'd been friends with a mum through our DC being friends but they were now in different schools it wouldn't cross my mind to meet the mum for a coffee or send her or the DC a birthday card. I barely have time to meet up with my family and best friends as it is.

@quesera2

"I did so much for her" I avoid people with this attitude too. Nothing worse than those who help you out only to throw it back in your face. Perhaps this is why she's backed off?

Yes. Im very suspicious of this too. To me it translates as interfering.

I’ve had this three times now with friends I thought were good ones.

I thought I was just an arsehole but didn’t realise it.

quesera2 coodawoodashooda I didn't interfere in the slightest and I'm not sure how you can translate me saying that I did so much for her into that. I've also never ever thrown anything in her face or even mentioned anything that I've done for her in the past or asked anything in return. The fact that I did so much for her and was there for her so much is part of why the ghosting hurts. If I'd been a shit friend in the past then I could understand why she might blank me but I was good enough to have her DC for sleep overs, to pick them up from nursery and give them tea so she could work and yet I'm now not even good enough to send a text to.

SapphosRock we weren't just 'mum' friends. We saw eachother away from the DC. I've got lots of friends who I've met through school and have lost contact with, no big deal.

Bluntness100 yes.

Tiddleztheelephant thankyou. Its not a nice feeling is it. It feels very immature to me but I will put it behind me.

Thankfully I do have a handful of lovely friends but I miss her friendship. We had some brilliant times together and I just feel a bit sad that it's over for no apparent reason.

Yes, she was also the sort of person that would never initiate anything too. Life is too short so I just didn't bother to chase and she couldn't be arsed to contact me. Barely acknowledge her the one time I walked right past her