Worried partner is losing his memory & APOE4

[JohnSteinbeck]

I don’t know where to start. My partner of 4 ish years has recently become quite chaotic. His friends and I have laughed it off - his wearing clothing that doesn’t suit weather, getting things wrong, forgetting to eat but being absorbed in tasks, slightly disinhibited with money. Im trying to think of other things.

Anyway, tonight over dinner he said he had something to share with me. I knew that he had his genes tested a few years ago, but he said just a few weeks ago, he realised he’d ticked the box for the Alzheimer’s genes and he has both SNPs for APOE4, which puts him highly at risk for Alzheimer’s (I don’t know if my facts or the terminology are right here).

I don’t know why he chose to tell me now, but I think it is because of these chaotic behaviours. I can see now that he’s been compensating for memory loss. He recently started needing a tremendous amount of sleep 12,14 hours, and makes mistakes in his accounts of things - the wrong restaurant for lunch, thyme instead of rosemary, Word finding difficulties. He frequently repeats the date & uses the calendar a lot as an anchor.

Reading back - maybe some of this is normal? I spend an awful lot of time with him, and my gut is telling me there’s something wrong.

Can anyone help me? He has a great network of his kids & close friends but has begged me not to share this info with anyone.

I’m so worried. He works in a professional position & drives, manages his homes, etc. I have a feeling that something is up.

All of those symptoms can be attributed to severe anxiety too (it can manifest in physical symptoms). How is work? Is he feeling the stress more than he usually would? I definitely agree that you should both go to the GP.

To play Devil’s advocate regarding the benefits of early diagnosis - I have known several patients who became suicidal or, in two cases, committed suicide, after an early dementia diagnosis.

For myself and my family, I would rather we lived in blissful ignorance, taking safety precautions, of course, but not stressing ourselves out with scans and memory tests and not bothering with the dubious benefits of medication. I know some of my colleagues feel the same.

By all means gets anything treatable treated (nutritional deficiencies, high BP and cholesterol, infections), but I’d be wary of pushing someone to go for a diagnosis that they may find unbearable to live with.

(I’d add stress, low mood and sleep problems to the treatable pile).

Is there a chance that he could be clinically depressed because depression can cause problems with memory and cognition.

Those issues do sound worrying, but it could be something as simple as B12 deficiency. www.nhs.uk/conditions/vitamin-b12-or-folate-deficiency-anaemia/
The only way to find out is for him to see his GP.
Good luck.

Trans Ischaemic attacks (mini stroke) could be a factor. The person might barely notice they are having one, but the long term effects can cause all sorts. Just a heads up for another possible cause.

Best of luck, this is not going to be an easy journey for either of you.