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In laws 'we rarely we see you'

9 replies

Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 00:05

Dh visits his inlaws every single weekend without fail and telephones once a day which is lovely (he also brings the dc and does jobs and runs them to appointments in the nearest city so uses annual leave days or accrued overtime)

They are nice people who I have nothing in common with but we chat easily (I don't agree with their outdated / religious opinions on things but nod and smile)

Anyway I have a few things going on in my own life and my family (accident) plus dh doesnt get a minute to visit my family really or isn't expected to. So he takes the dc once a week and I visit now and again. He says not to worry about me going as I get an hour to myself.

I went yesterday afternoon and mil was very welcoming but said Fil was saying how I never visit. An hour later Fil comes in from the garden and says 'ah its very rare we see them' (about the dc)
I think they see the dc plenty. If I were a son in law and didn't visit every week it wouldn't be an issue (their son in law visits very rarely and daughter does on her own with kids)
Envy

OP posts:
eightyfourandahalf · 02/08/2021 00:13

Dh visits his inlaws every single weekend without fail and telephones once a day

are they unwell?

If not, it's not lovely, it's claustrophobic!

GNCQ · 02/08/2021 00:16

They sound needy and a bit lonely, maybe pandemic related,?
But surely pleased to see you?
Can't see a problem really they just like seeing you.

Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 00:17

They are elderly. All of the siblings visit once a week and one of them once a day.
But I get a guilt trip for not doing the same.
MIL used to call me everyday at 5.30pm if dh hadn't called her. But I told dh to put a stop to it.

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123rd · 02/08/2021 00:20

Fil can't be that bothered if he took an hour to come in to see you all. I couldn't put up with seeing any family once a week - when do you get to do things as a family with just yr DC & DH?

MadMadMadamMim · 02/08/2021 00:25

I'd have laughed and said What rubbish! DH is always over here, and often brings the children. If you mean me, I'm afraid I'm up to my neck with work and my own side of the family. Funnily enough they rarely see DH...

Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 00:25

Dh brings them for an hour or two so loads of time to do stuff. That's not really an issue. I am glad he does. They like going and they are nice people.
I just find its difficult as I have to be careful not to offend them - very outdated views.
I don't really mind but don't that every singe weekend. I get loads done in the hour or two dh brings them. Think I am a bit guilty but there wouldn't be a word about it if I was male as I would be 'a busy man doing important work'.
Fil is not very nice to MIL and I would say a bit controlling to her. He never lifts a finger and tuts and points at the kitchen if she brought in the wrong cake or it was to dry. It's hard to explain.

OP posts:
Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 00:26

I would love to spell it out madmad

OP posts:
RumblyMumbly · 02/08/2021 00:32

Sounds like plenty of contact and on their terms. How old are your DC?

Pegasusmail · 02/08/2021 00:39

Dc are 7 and 8

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