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Original poster

If you’re a detective, is your job all consuming like on TV?

60 replies

Redlorryellow · 01/08/2021 22:27

Just a question really. I love watching true crime or detective dramas (mainly set in the U.K.) and it seems like the main detective on cases (murders ans serious crimes like that) is always at work late, working on leads and evidence etc, and their cases are all consuming often affecting their family lives. Is this an accurate portrayal of the job? It makes me wonder how detectives or high ranking policemen and women have any time for hobbies, family, etc and it couldn’t be more different from my own work life (office based, pretty much 9-5, plenty of annual leave and working from home etc.) I find it fascinating and I know I definitely wouldn’t be cut out for that line of work for loads of reasons, but wondering if I’m real life it is more manageable?

OP posts:

Mummify · 01/08/2021 23:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Wiltshire90 · 01/08/2021 23:22

I will actually go against the grain and say it isn't all-consuming. Yes, there are times when you can't go home until you've finished what you're doing or if there'd big job on. But I rarely think about work when I leave it other than to chat about it to my partner as an unwinding exercise. I mostly forget all about it in my days off. I think you have to be good at switching off to avoid burnout!! The "Sherlock" moments and unhealthy dedication you see on TV just doesn't ring true to me.

This becomes harder and harder if you get promoted and are on-call obviously, but I think it's the same in many organisations.

Truthseeker34 · 01/08/2021 23:25

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Crime TV

pantsdants · 01/08/2021 23:27

My friend is a detective & did some exams to become one I think.
She does a job share & worked remotely through covid & will be doing some days from home forever so some roles must be more desk job as opposed to chasing the baddie down the alley.

SunnyBobstar · 01/08/2021 23:55

I'm a detective working in child abuse. Being a detective is certainly a demanding role, but the tv tends to glamourise it. Workloads are high (I currently carry 26 investigations), the hours are long and we manage a lot of risk.

It's a very difficult job that's overrun with bureaucracy and paperwork, the time spent actually away from the office is normally small in comparison to being stuck on a computer. There are departmental battles due to severe staff shortages, juggling daily jobs so that incoming incidents can be dealt with, as well as trying to investigate and manage the workload you already have.

It can take at least 12 months to even get to a position of going to CPS for a charging decision on many investigations (e.g. rape and child sex offences), and then you end up batting action plans for a few months before finally getting a decision. The building of your case file and presenting evidence for court can also take many, many months in complex crime.

It's stressful, it's demanding, you're responsible for keeping the most vulnerable people in society safe.

It's rewarding and it's not just a job. Yes it can affect your life if you let it. Every day detectives up and down the country do amazing jobs to take dangerous criminals off the streets and many people don't realise the hard work and dedication involved. Most members of the public have no idea what a detective does and the pressure they are under. I have great respect for my colleagues and I'm very proud of them having seen the amazing work that's done.

LunaNorth · 02/08/2021 02:38

@SunnyBobstar and all the other officers on the thread - thank you for what you do.

TheWashingMachine · 02/08/2021 05:56

I used to be a journalist and there were people I worked with who used to keep a bottle of whisky in the filing cabinet.

LonstantonSpiceMuseum · 02/08/2021 08:06

I work an office job, which should be 9-6 but it's not, I'm often working late or weekends and then I have to constantly do extra stuff so I can compete with colleagues when the next round of redundancies comes up...
It seems to be the norm these days maybe? The ones which aren't like that seem to be paid a lot less - probably because of the predictability and security of the job.

Is the question which jobs are family friendly and earn enough? What do you do OP?

PetronellaPea · 02/08/2021 08:35

Are any detectives on here willing to be PM’d to ask for advice on the role? Currently on the verge of applying for a graduate entry DC scheme but I’m massively torn (sorry OP for hijacking, I’m a little desperate..!) It’s the lack of family friendly hours that’s concerning me, I thought you could apply for flexible working……

TeeBee · 02/08/2021 08:42

My dad was a police detective. It is completely all encompassing and not at all conducive to marriage or parenting. Many times we couldn't go to clubs or get collected at the last minute because dad was in a murder investigation. I think it also drives a wedge in marriages because the partner often doesn't understand the pressure they're under and because they get left with most the burden of parenting.
We were also briefed heavily on how to behave if someone we didn't know tried to collect us from school! Then we had informants calling the house at all hours. So yeah, a pretty consuming job.

SoddingWeddings · 02/08/2021 08:48

I escaped after ten years. I left because of burn out. 80hr weeks were normal, I did call out and rest days were frequently cancelled. I'd lost so many friends, had no chance of a life outside the Job and was absolutely exhausted. I slept for a week when I quit. But dear god I miss bits of it so much!

I was CID in a large city then moved into Major Crime with a day job specialising in fraud and money laundering, but the frequency of call outs and major crime jobs (murders, stranger rapes, kidnaps, firearms etc) really caused issues with getting the day jobs done for weeks at a time.

When I left I ran an audit on my recorded hours. I did more overtime in a decade than I'd taken in annual leave. Never again.

BigButtons · 02/08/2021 08:51

What a great question.
I have just rewatched the first series of the killing and I was asking myself a similar question.

NoWordForFluffy · 02/08/2021 08:52

Our kids' godfather is in the Met, working as a detective. His hours are long and not conducive to developing relationships). He's going to be starting a new role in training soon with fixed hours. He will lose money due to shift allowances being lost etc, but he will gain a much better work / life balance, which he really wants. I think he'd have left sooner rather than later if he hadn't been able to change roles.

Ethelswith · 02/08/2021 08:57

Family member who was.

Yes, there are times when they seem to be working all hours - it's not so much long days but cutting in to weekends and days off (they always managed to get to weddings, though once left very early, but there were lots of other occasions they didn't get to at all, or left early/arrived late)

But it seemed to come in phases IYSWIM - there were also long stretches where they were working predictable (but very long) hours and family life worked OK - or at least what we saw of it did.

Though aim off a bit - an awful lot of my family are doctors, so long hours, frequent but unpredictable need to stay on, and the job coming first, were our normal anyhow. And yes, it can make family life very hard and I don't think everyone is cut out for that (that's not a criticism, it's an observation)

ComplaintsComplaintsComplaints · 02/08/2021 08:59

I was in CID for a while. It was horrifying. I never finished on time, my rest days were always being cancelled for court - I had to leave a wedding planning appointment for a court case - and the stress and responsibility in just a bog standard CID role were crippling. I booked leave and went on a spa day to relax, and came out of my massage to urgent messages from work and the CPS. Never again, fair play to people who can stick it but it wasn't for me.

In the UK its illegal for police officers to drink on duty so there may be the odd person with a bottle in their locker but it would be gross misconduct if they were caught.

Divebar2021 · 02/08/2021 09:50

@PetronellaPea

It might help if you say which force you’re interested in applying to.

PetronellaPea · 02/08/2021 09:52

It’s West Midlands Police, I have young kids I so don’t have the option to relocate.

SoddingWeddings · 02/08/2021 10:23

@PetronellaPea I'm aware they advertise part time and flexible working, but I don't see how it can work in practice as a police officer. You can't just walk off to pick up kids when you have a prisoner in custody to interview / a house search that's taking longer than planned etc.

I've seen parents refused emergency time off for sick kids, and I've also been screwed over by a colleague more than once by dumping their work on me to go to get children from childcare etc meaning I had to stay on duty for another 7+hrs to deal with it for them so a I'll admit I'm a bit bitter on that front!

You need unshakeable bomb-proof childcare and emergency plans in my experience. It's also part of why I left - I'd finally met someone and wanted to settle down and have kids (turns out male infertility) but couldn't see how to make that work with that career.

If your kids are old enough to be a bit independent, that's great but if you have limited support with them, that's a big problem in my view. You'll be doing night shifts for example, so maybe not home in time for the school run when you're expecting to do it so you need a back up plan for those shifts. You may be on call, but that's role specific. You'll have days off cancelled at short notice. Getting leave during school holidays is often difficult as you'll be fighting for them with everyone else. That incudes Christmas Day etc.

It's by no means impossible, but it does not depend on your situation.

bluetongue · 02/08/2021 10:42

I’m not a detective but deal with them through my work.

I always feel bad ringing them on their days off but I guess it’s what they signed up for and I’m always very nice about and ask them if they’re okay to take the call

I do like the show 24 hours in Police Custody. Lots of swearing and being pissed off at CPS which is pretty accurate in my experience,

PetronellaPea · 02/08/2021 11:23

@SoddingWeddings thanks for that, it’s given me a lot to think about. The more I consider it the less realistic it probably is in my situation. My kids are really young and my partner isn’t in the kind of job where he could be flexible around my shift patterns. It’s a shame but I might have missed the boat sadly, the time to do it would have been my twenties pre-kids.

wizzywig · 02/08/2021 11:46

In a related role. What keeps me going is the belief that we are doing something important. And keeping the public safe. I manage the minutae of peoples lives. 9-5 does not happen. Your work depends on criminals behaviours. And they aren't always the most organised people.

JorisBonson · 02/08/2021 11:51

@Wiltshire90

This becomes harder and harder if you get promoted and are on-call obviously, but I think it's the same in many organisations.

Agree. I'm a DC in a specialist unit and I can usually keep fairly regular office hours.

Major incidents and regular on call weeks are a different story tho!

DH is uniform on 12 hour shifts and we can be ships in the night for weeks on end.

drspouse · 02/08/2021 12:35

A good friend of mine is, they have one DC and her DH is in an office job. She's now very senior so can go in early and be home for childminder pickup but I think her DH did most of the drop offs and pick ups when their DC was younger (and she got most of her early career years over before DH/DC).

Our DCs' CM had clients who were a midwife and a uniformed officer and she did a lot of overnights for them.

NorthernChinchilla · 02/08/2021 12:53

Yes it is. I work in policing and especially when there's a big case EVERYONE gets hauled in to assist, and these cases go on for months.

My boss is a retired D.Ch.Supt from the Met, lead on many national cases, and his biggest regret is barely being around for his kids. His wife is a midwife so God knows when they saw each other!

There's a crisis in Detective recruitment at the moment, and you can see why...

NorthernChinchilla · 02/08/2021 12:55

Oh and the whiskey? Yes, up to early mid 90s, very much so, according to colleagues. They were outraged when it was banned Life on Mars/ Ashes to Ashes were very accurate....

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