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5 year old suddenly very anxious to leave Me

4 replies

Florencenotflo · 01/08/2021 17:15

Dd is 5, has always been very confident and outgoing, always makes new friends at the park or soft play, wherever we go.

But the last week she is refusing to leave my side. I had a meal out with friends Thursday, my mum was babysitting. It took me 40 mins to get out because Dd was hysterical, crying, I had to calm her down several times and convince her I would be back before she would let me out the door. It caught me off guard because she's never been like this.

My mum and MIL look after the DD's regularly doing school pick ups and infrequent nights out. We've been out a few times together since lockdown lifted but Thursday was the first time on my own (DH was at work).

Since then she has refused to go to soft play with my mum, but was happy to go out with her and she went to see my Nan instead. She also refused a cinema trip with MIL but had lunch and a walk round the shops.

MIL popped in this morning and I took the opportunity to pop to the chemist while she watched Dd1 & 2. Dd was hysterical again. Blocking the door, crying, shouting at me not to leave. I did go, and MIL text to say she calmed down as soon as I left and was playing.

I don't even know where to start to help her! I've tried talking to her, she says nothing is bothering or worrying her. I've asked her why she doesn't like me going anywhere and she says it's because she'll miss me.

I'm so worried about her, this is the girl that skipped into her first day of nursery and school without as much as a look back behind her. I can't think of any big changes either that might have made her feel unsettled.

OP posts:
GreenTortoise · 01/08/2021 17:21

She might have anxiety. Around this age my nephew with my DB got anxiety he is a teen now and although has got better he still has anxiety and it's usually just around my DB.

He is always worried something will happen to him if he isn't there. It started around the same age as your DD.

atlastifoundit · 01/08/2021 17:36

All of a sudden it has dawned on her that you and she are two separate entities.

Don't pander to it though, just be completely matter-of-fact, as in "See you later then, I will be back at teatime (or whatever)" and there's no need to keep reassuring her too much because that will just reinforce the idea that she's right to be worried.

Florencenotflo · 01/08/2021 21:38

Thank you for the replies. I'm just struggling with ways to manage this (I want to say phase, in the hopes that it is a phase). Has anyone got any ideas? Am I best ignoring to a degree and letting her please herself (which means not leaving my side). Or encourage her to do thing she doesn't want to do in the vain hope she actually does.

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MilkCereal · 01/08/2021 21:47

My ds 5 has been exactly like this this week! So out of character- he cried when I left him with his dad to take dd out and said he wants to be with me always. DC have sports camp tomorrow as I'm in work so I'm sure that will be traumatic as ges already said he wants to stay with me. So not normal for him. I'm going to reassure, be firm and carry on..... good luck!

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