Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Should I say something

11 replies

Twizbe · 31/07/2021 22:40

I need some outside opinions on whether I should raise something with DH.

For context, DH is aware of these issues and is very supportive of me while also trying to toe a fine line with his sister.

SiL and I have a cool civil relationship. We are very different and I wouldn't call us friends.

She got a lockdown puppy which I don't like. I'm usually ok around dogs but this one is just badly trained. The dog jumps up at me and my young kids, it's very nippy and destructive. SiL dumps this dog on her parents all the time. Literally all the time. SiL has no control over the dog and lets him do what ever. The last time we saw them dog knocked my toddler over on a hard floor. Child was crying their eyes out and SiL just said 'well that's what dogs do'! Dog is bigger than toddler.

Here's the situation.

DH invited his cousin to come and meet us for a picnic. We've not seen him at all during covid. I like said cousin and was looking forward to it. To be polite he invited other family members and SiL said she'd come. If she comes, the dog comes too ...

I'm now dreading it. I'm dreading the dog going nuts over the food, I'm dreading the lack of control of the dog, I'm dreading the whole thing.

So far I've not said anything to DH. I'm debating asking him about it or sharing my concerns with him. Part of me thinks if I share my concerns we can come up with a plan together that means dog doesn't eat the food / hurts the children. Other part of me worries it puts him in a hard situation. Chances are he's already thinking about this himself as well. He is well aware of the issues with his sister and this dog.

So would you say anything, would you invent a reason to cancel, would you shut up and put up. Open to all suggestions.

OP posts:
30degreesandmeltinghere · 31/07/2021 22:43

Where is the picnic? Does the place even allow ddogs? Presumably it will be on a lead? Just sit elsewhere... Or the dc play area where it def won't be allowed. Outdoor you actually have more scope to escape!!

DownWhichOfLate · 31/07/2021 22:43

Book the picnic somewhere that dogs aren’t allowed?

Twizbe · 31/07/2021 22:58

DH has suggested a lovely local park which is very open. Dogs are allowed. I doubt she'd be responsible enough to keep him on a lead at all times and he is quite strong as well.

I could suggest that DH has a word about keeping him on the lead around the food...

I hadn't actually thought about taking the kids to the play park to get some distance from the dog. Good idea.

I don't want to suggest dog isn't invited as it will just mean he's dumped on in laws again

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

AmberIsACertainty · 31/07/2021 23:00

Who asked the others, your DP or the cousin? If it was the cousin, I'd stay home with the DC and let DP go alone. Next time say to the cousin, how about a picnic, just you and us? To make it clear it's not a big family gathering. If it was DP who invited the others, tell him to stop being polite at yours and DC expense, then let him go alone to make your point. You and DC are his immediate family now and should come first above being polite to his shitty relative.

AmberIsACertainty · 31/07/2021 23:03

don't want to suggest dog isn't invited as it will just mean he's dumped on in laws again

Why are you trying to take responsibility for other people not having a backbone? You don't need to do this.

RandomMess · 31/07/2021 23:06

You can get grass anchors for dog leads - like massive corkscrews. Take one with you and give it to SIL as a gift...

"Here SIL this is how it works" screw in ground attach lead to it.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 31/07/2021 23:07

I think its reasonable to raise it.

Be aware that some puppies are nightmares for a few years, it may be that at play not just your DSils inability to control the dog.

With the best will in the world some dogs are flipping hard work until they mature.

WinoLino · 01/08/2021 07:43

I like @RandomMess advice. Assertive and maintaining boundaries while being/seeming helpful. Good luck!

TraLaLaLaLaLaLaa · 01/08/2021 08:31

Of course you should say something. She is being totally irresponsible not training her dog
If she can't be bothered why should have to tolerate it

30degreesandmeltinghere · 02/08/2021 09:00

Actually no lead would be funny... Ddog won't know to stay close. Sil will be chasing round the park pure Fenton style I imagine!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page