Is this normal for being single long term? I feel so low.

[BetterThanTomorrow]

I'm 32 and I've never had a relationship. I don't really know why. People always ask me when I'm settling down and why haven't I met someone, so I don't think there are any glaring issues

I am a teacher, so I do rarely meet men, but I've been using the apps and I do make an effort to organise a social life. I don't just sit at home (well, not until Covid anyway!).

I don't mean to say that my life isn't good, because it is, but I just feel that there must be something more to life than watching what I want and buying the clothes that I want.

I do desperately want a family and it just seems to be getting beyond me now. But what else is there in life? Is this it for another 50 years?

If you’re in a big city, do you have citysocializer where you are? I used to find that great for having a fun event and meeting people that weren’t the dating site types fixed on getting laid, but were more open to a longer term relationship if it happened (or at least would want to introduce you to their friends)? Though I will caveat that by saying I was a newbie in London at the time and it was a bit of a startup website back then, so may have changed a lot. (Actually thinking about it, it was around 13 years ago so - maybe take a look and make up your own mind!)

A friend of mine met her now-DH on a singles holiday. I think it was one with a specific age range (30-40 iirc).

I do appreciate the tips, but I also kinda want to talk about getting through being single, especially if this continues long term... I don't want to be sadly looking at couples and families for the rest of my life.

@nembrotha

Take up road cycling with a local club. That will be full of men. Stay for the pub bit after the ride. Not saying you're going to find someone instantly but there might be friends/work colleagues.

If you're a teacher and off at the moment there's loads of bar/restaurant work available for the next few busy summer weeks. Put you in front of loads of men.

Judging by the posts on Relationships and AIBU, the kind of men OP will meet at a road cycling club are middle aged, married and utterly selfish.

Married to a (non club) cyclist myself, so “NAMAMILs” etc… but - eyes wide open I think in that environment!

I'm 41, no idea how this happened, been single since 32 and I'm happy in myself. I hope to meet someone but if I don't I'll travel, work part time, do voluntary work, probably get a dog, look after friends kids and give them back, maybe foster one day. Those are the meaningful things, in between that there's learning things, gardening, cooking, arts, various sports I enjoy.

Given that you're a teacher, why not travel? I'm sure you'd get a teaching job in Australia, or Canada, somewhere like that? Do the things that people with dependents can only dream about. Spend some time researching those kind of opportunities. Take advantage of being single basically.

Haha I tried the cycling club (I do like cycling). I was only ever in the C group (slow ride) so spent most of the time with an eyeful of bum cracks in cycing shorts 😂

Ok, tips about being single. Best way to enjoy your single life is to have at least a couple of friends who are available, by this I do not mean single, just “available”. If all your friends are always too busy with their families, jobs or hobbies, you need to make some extra ones, otherwise it gets a bit lonely.

I have a few teacher friends who are very much single and have been so for many years. They all have very fulfilled lives, lots of friends, some have family near by but others don’t. One uses meet up and has made some more friends through this. Another is very active with volunteering. Others have worked abroad so have a wide range of friends from all over.

I think the thing is, you have to put yourself out there to meet lots of people (not just partners) who you can gel with. I would suggest volunteering and meet up to begin with.

When I was single I had my two dogs. I walked them for miles every day. I got to know neighbours and, more importantly, never felt like I was alone when I was at home with the dogs. That sense of being alone when I didn’t want to be was a horrible feeling but with my dogs I felt like I had more meaning and company.