Is anyone a NICU nurse?

[crayray]

When DS (now 3) was born, he had an infection and was really quite poorly - APGAR score of 4 and taken straight to NICU. I've often wondered about what happened to him up there - I was recovering from c-section and we didn't get much information about him for several hours. We were eventually told but in a rather clinical (though not uncaring) way that means I don't feel I know much about his experience at that time. I know they put central lines in him, and he was intubated, and then was on CPAP.

Fortunately he made a good recovery and was back with me after four days, but during that time he had a lumbar puncture, and I've often wondered about that in particular. It's a procedure I've always thought sounds very unpleasant and I didn't like the thought of him having it, especially as we couldn't be there. Would someone have been there comforting him at the time? Would they have cuddled him afterwards?

Obviously what they did was necessary and I'll always be incredibly grateful that they saved his life. But I've always felt like I wish I knew more about what he went through in those first hours/days. I did have a debrief at the hospital but that was more about the birth itself and the trauma I felt at having him taken away so quickly.

Just wondered if anyone knows anything about what he might have experienced.

Hopeful bump

My DS was prem and had a lumber punture at 5 weeks (so around 35 weeks corrected) they doctor wouldn't let me watch, she said it's not something a mother should have to go through. The way she carried him and brought him back to me snuggling in her arms meant the world to me knowing how much care was taken of him

My baby was in NICU for three weeks and often the nurses there would be carrying babies about whose parents had gone home for the evening/couldn’t be on the ward at the time. They were definitely all very well comforted as well as being clinically looked after.

Not a NICU nurse, but once on NICU, they will have worked on stabilising him. He probably had an umbilical line, with drugs like saline, dextrose and adrenaline (if he was really struggling to get going). Once stable, they would have worked on what was going on, they may have started cooling if they were worried about a potential brain injury.

He would have had bloods taken, cultures sent, started on brood spectrum antibiotics until they could pin down what was actually going on. If they did a LP, they might have been worried about brain based infections.

If he was intubated and then stepped down to CPAP, it sounds like he had enough to not need such invasive treatment and he was able (with help) breathe for himself.

I’ve done clinical bits and bobs with babies, I tend to chat away to them in soothing tones. I give them a cuddle afterwards. However, the babies I come across are predominately well. He will have been touched, soothed, possibly cuddled (I’m not sure how much this would happen if he was clinically unwell). Babies do get given things like dextrose, soothers when having uncomfortable things done. Was your partner able to go to see him? That would have helped massively.

I do lumbar punctures on babies. We bribe them with sugar water during it (works like morphine on babies without the side effects) and dummies (if parents consent for it), ensure they're clean and pause if they get too distressed. As soon as its done they're scooped up and cuddled and resettled. They also tolerate Lumbar punctures far better than adults.
The reason we don't encourage parents to watch it, isn't because of the babies distress, but because the position we put them in (which they don't normally mind too much) looks brutal and the way they're held looks bad. It looks far worse than it is for the baby.
Babies aren't left to scream alone on NNU (unless there is an emergency going on and all staff are saving someone else's life). Crying babies without parents next to them, are settled with dummies, rocking (and cuddles if nothing else works).

Thanks everyone. This is all very reassuring.

My partner was able to go and see him after about 6 hours of him being taken away. For for first 3 hours we didn't know anything, then we were told that he had been intubated and that they were taking it 'each hour as it comes'. We were told DH could go up to see him soon but it was another 3 hours til that happened. The whole time we were just desperately waiting for news, and each time the phone rang and the staff were too busy to answer we worried it was news about him. But by the time DH went upstairs things were starting to look more positive, and the nurse looking after DS was very kind and informative.

I've always felt sad that we couldn't have his first hours with him. I guess, three years on, that seems even weirder, because apart from when he's at nursery I'm there for all his experiences, yet the most invasive treatment he's had at the most vulnerable time in his life i wasn't there.

However I am of course very thankful to have a healthy child and aware of how much of a blessing this is.

I should add, I was able to see him a few hours after DH did. So it's not that I wasn't there at all for those first days. It's just that I wasn't there during the first hours or for the LP. And I always look back and think that I wasn't in NICU with him enough. I'd had a c section and so wasn't in great shape, plus I felt that we were in the way when we were in there as the rooms were so small. Also I needed to be on my ward a lot for regular medication and because of visitors. But still, I feel I didn't go up to his ward enough.

Have you had counseling about this OP? It can help massively with the guilt of not being there. What the guilt-trip, perfectionist part of your brain isn't telling you is you were unwell and had just been through major abdominal surgery. I'm sure you were there as much as you could possibly have been. When we imagine our child being in hospital, we think we'd be by their bedside 24/7. The reality with NICU is that's not always possible (and not always what your baby needs most either).

He won't have any memory of those hours, of course. My 10 year old went through the most horrific procedures in the first year of his life. He has no inkling of all that now, it's the adults who were around him who still worry about it.

Glad he's doing well now, you sound like a great mum.

@Submariner

Have you had counseling about this OP? It can help massively with the guilt of not being there. What the guilt-trip, perfectionist part of your brain isn't telling you is you were unwell and had just been through major abdominal surgery. I'm sure you were there as much as you could possibly have been. When we imagine our child being in hospital, we think we'd be by their bedside 24/7. The reality with NICU is that's not always possible (and not always what your baby needs most either).

He won't have any memory of those hours, of course. My 10 year old went through the most horrific procedures in the first year of his life. He has no inkling of all that now, it's the adults who were around him who still worry about it.

Glad he's doing well now, you sound like a great mum.

Thanks for your kind words. I haven't had counselling about that aspect, though I did have some PTSD type therapy about the trauma of the actual birth and it was super helpful in helping me stop crying every time I spoke or thought about it.

I'm sorry that your DS had to go through traumatic treatments 💐

Hello crayray, I know you posted a little while ago but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you and your little one had a difficult time at birth .
It's so hard having your baby taken to Nicu. Please don't feel bad that you weren't able to be at his side the whole time. That really wasn't your fault. You can't have a c section and then be expected to be up and about. It's just not possible. You will have been exhausted, in pain and probably totally overwhelmed. Meanwhile your little DS would have been fast asleep and totally unaware, getting better in his own time.
I'm a NICU nurse. I think that at birth your DS will have been given some breaths with a mask to open up his lungs and encourage him to start breathing. If he didn't respond very well, he will have had the breathing tube inserted and put on a ventilator to give him time to come round and start breathing for himself. Babies like this are usually very sleepy and don't cry. When they start perking up and getting feisty it is usually time to take the breathing tube out and put them on CPAP for a bit of support until they are feeling better.
I think the central lines you mention will have been umbilical lines. We insert catheters into the vessels in the umbilical cord after it is cut at birth. Your little DS would not have felt this. It's not like having a cannula put in. He would have been fast asleep all warm under the drapes while they were inserting the lines.
He will have had a portable xray to look at his chest and to see where his new lines were sitting.
With babies like your DS we worry about infection as a possible cause for them not transitioning very well to the outside world. He will have had some antibiotics given down his line and some dextrose fluid just to keep him going while he wasn't feeding.
Like pps have said, the lumbar puncture sounds and looks horrible but the babies really don't mind too much. We curl them up tight into a little ball, they are so flexible and curly from being in the womb that it is not distressing for them and we give them their first taste of sweeties with a solution called sucrose, they are very easily distracted! One person will have been holding and comforting your DS while the other person did the LP.
While DS was in Nicu he will have been given lots of love and told he was cute and gorgeous a thousand times. If we are busy, we comfort babies with dummies, soothing patting, talking to them, if they are unsettled and we have the time we get them out for nice cuddles.
At the beginning when he wasn't very well, he won't have been crying, he will have been sleeping and probably totally zonked (if that's a word!). And as he got better and more awake, I imagine that you were also starting to feel better and were able to be with him a bit more, and then you took him home and since then I am sure that he has had lots of love and attention.
So please don't feel bad. But find someone to talk to because maybe you just need to process those memories and feelings xx

@Angelcupcake thank you so much for taking the time to write that post. It was very informative and reassuring. I'm sure you're a wonderful comfort to babies and their families ☺️

@Angelcupcake

Hello crayray, I know you posted a little while ago but just wanted to say that I'm sorry you and your little one had a difficult time at birth . It's so hard having your baby taken to Nicu. Please don't feel bad that you weren't able to be at his side the whole time. That really wasn't your fault. You can't have a c section and then be expected to be up and about. It's just not possible. You will have been exhausted, in pain and probably totally overwhelmed. Meanwhile your little DS would have been fast asleep and totally unaware, getting better in his own time. I'm a NICU nurse. I think that at birth your DS will have been given some breaths with a mask to open up his lungs and encourage him to start breathing. If he didn't respond very well, he will have had the breathing tube inserted and put on a ventilator to give him time to come round and start breathing for himself. Babies like this are usually very sleepy and don't cry. When they start perking up and getting feisty it is usually time to take the breathing tube out and put them on CPAP for a bit of support until they are feeling better. I think the central lines you mention will have been umbilical lines. We insert catheters into the vessels in the umbilical cord after it is cut at birth. Your little DS would not have felt this. It's not like having a cannula put in. He would have been fast asleep all warm under the drapes while they were inserting the lines. He will have had a portable xray to look at his chest and to see where his new lines were sitting. With babies like your DS we worry about infection as a possible cause for them not transitioning very well to the outside world. He will have had some antibiotics given down his line and some dextrose fluid just to keep him going while he wasn't feeding. Like pps have said, the lumbar puncture sounds and looks horrible but the babies really don't mind too much. We curl them up tight into a little ball, they are so flexible and curly from being in the womb that it is not distressing for them and we give them their first taste of sweeties with a solution called sucrose, they are very easily distracted! One person will have been holding and comforting your DS while the other person did the LP. While DS was in Nicu he will have been given lots of love and told he was cute and gorgeous a thousand times. If we are busy, we comfort babies with dummies, soothing patting, talking to them, if they are unsettled and we have the time we get them out for nice cuddles. At the beginning when he wasn't very well, he won't have been crying, he will have been sleeping and probably totally zonked (if that's a word!). And as he got better and more awake, I imagine that you were also starting to feel better and were able to be with him a bit more, and then you took him home and since then I am sure that he has had lots of love and attention. So please don't feel bad. But find someone to talk to because maybe you just need to process those memories and feelings xx

This is such a lovely post. DD was in NICU (and had a lumbar puncture) and the guilt I feel over it is overwhelming sometimes and she is 10 now! This has made me cry with relief. The nurses were wonderful there, I know she was so well looked after but it's so comforting to read this.

OP I hope you feel better. It is really, really hard to think of your baby alone. x