OCD or something else?

[LastLetter]

My dsis lives with DM and has OCd which she is taking medication for and has several courses of CBT over the years. Some times it really flares up and other times it doesn't seem too bad but it's something she needs to deal with everyday.

I am not an expert on OCD or that knowledgeable about it but have a few concerns. Dsis is extremely controling with DM. She bosses her about to do things and gets very angry if it's not done. Some of these things are ocd related eg telling DM to wash her hands after touching certain things etc. But other times it's not anything related about the actual OCD. So eg she will not let DM invite certain friends of hers to the home because she doesn't like them or she will get very angry with DM if she feels she has said something to someone which she disapproves of.

DM does everything she can do to avoid confrontation so she complies with whatever dsis demands of her to keep the peace. This works most of the time but DM is used as an emotional punchbag and is constantly walking on eggshells and always trying to preempt how she can avoid an outburst.

Is this type of behaviour common in people with OCD? Is it part of OCD or just her personality?

Bump

The things not related to her OCD sound controlling.

We have talked to her about it but she says it's the OCD. She gets extremely defensive and upset. I get that OCD has a controlling element as this helps to reduce the anxiety but I would have thought that was only for the OCD related stuff.

You can have OCD and be controlling / abusive.

It’s certainly possible that these people or situations trigger her OCD. I used to find it quite difficult to have certain people over because of their hygiene or other behaviours, even though they were lovely people. Obviously sometimes people are just controlling assholes but sometimes people who act controlling are just trying to manage their anxiety. If you can stay in control of everyone and everything around you, the world isn’t quite such an overwhelming place.

I agree with everything mindutopia posted.

The people she doesn't like aren't anything to do with her OCD. There's no hygiene issues or anything like that. If it was then that would totally make sense.
She controls how DM speaks to people, what information she shares with others etc and that is not anything to do with her OCD compulsions or obsessive thoughts.
Unless I'm totally missing something here and this kind of stuff is actually OCD too.