Camping is hell.

[Thisisnothappeningagain]

I havent enjoyed camping since i was a teen. Dp is well into it 'i just chuck a few things in the car and go!' -_- (i wont even get in to how much effort it was to acquire, sort and pack everything for a family and dogs) i finally bowed to pressure and here i am, a trek across a field away from the locked, extremely poorly ventilated, toilets and no idea where in this dark tent trying to take off the key is even though ive tried to keep it in the same zipped pocket. I must have had 5hrs sleep all week.

I HAVE TRIED to be positive, but im seriously struggling to see why this is fun, or relaxing.

When I was in my early 20s I went on one of those landrover holidays camping and trekking in the middle East and loathed it! Much of it was in organized camps but some was wild camping in Iran and Afghanistan. Not the kind of thing you could do nowadays! In those countries there are snakes, scorpions and all kinds of nasties.

We certainly got to see the country. However hotels were so cheap that we often stayed in one - three girls to a room it was peanuts.

Ive never been tempted to do the same again. I am deffo a "relax in air conditioned luxury" sort of girl.

Last time I camped we were so far away from the toilet block that I had to pee in the hedge behind the tent in the night, as I always have to pee at night, and would not even make it to the loo in time.

Aroundtheworld you can buy electric storage thingies which are cheap/small/efficient, look for Anker made ones.

And solar power generators but not so efficient in Britain

Other than that it was actually ok. Blow up beds stayed up (mostly) and I slept well. I can sleep on the flat ground though if required, no problem. An awful lot of faff with packing though. I enjoyed cooking in the camp kitchen, and all my jokes about the camp kitchen. Also there was a nice pub we ate at a few times. We were very lucky with weather, no way I would do it in shit weather.

My daughters enjoyed it but my eldest said she didn't want to do it again as a main holiday. Fair enough! Since then it has always been easier to get a cheap cottage or stay in some other kind of bricks and mortar.

I also enjoyed glamping with friends. We had proper beds, an adjacent toilet and a wood-fired shower. Again, really good weather made it work.

Having your own caravan/motorhome must also fairly comfortable. Under canvas is always a bit rudimentary.

@Sparklingbrook

I always thought a canal boat holiday would be very relaxing. Until I went on one. Not doing that again.

We used to do boating holidays as children. All the worst aspects of a caravan holiday with the added problem that you are locked in.

DF was always cross and determined to go further so we never stopped at nice moorings, always out in the middle of nowhere. DM, tight lipped, stuck with trying to feed a family of 5 on the stove of an old barge. Chugging through, staring up the noses of the industrial bits of old towns.

We used to always have to wear the most enormous buoyancy vests. Which I guess worked in that we couldnt move much so were unlikely to be able to fall in the water.

I was never inflicting that experience on my DCs.

No thank you.

I did a yert once on a hen do. That was tolerable I suppose.

Could you compromise on one of those wooden camping pods?

Sleeping under a sheet on the floor is just not my idea of fun. DH was adamant he was really outdoorsy - he went on an overnight fishing (had never been fishing in his life but was adamant he would enjoy it) trip to the Lakes with his friends. He arrived on the door step at six am, dripping wet and miserable, having shoved the £10 tent he had bought from facebook market place into a commercial bin at a service station off the M6 having somehow managed to tear the panel.

He never mentioned it again. To add further insult to injury he found a pack of Aldi bacon under his car seat two weeks later that had fallen out of his bag and spent two weeks trying to get his car to stop smelling of pork.

days*

@GoldBar

Camping isn't a break. It's everything you have to do at home - wash, cook, shower, use the loo, wash up - made 10 times harder and more uncomfortable.

This! and a ton of work at either end for the pleasure. It baffles me.

To be honest caravans do too. They let you escape the whole wet tent, major packing exercise, etc misery, just hook up and go. But you have still swapped comfy accomodation for pokey plastic box cheek by jowl with 20 others who may or may not be considerate with their noise levels and you can still hear them snoring.

i finally bowed to pressure

This is where it all went wrong. I have never bowed to it and therefore have never gone camping and never will

I love camping, but only with the following requirements;

A vehicle. It's shit having to carry everything on your back and walking too far just pisses me off/makes my hip hurt too much (mainly because of the following essentials).
An all seasons tent.
Winter warmth sleeping bag.
Self inflating mattress.
Kelly kettle.
Shovel.
Nobody else around.
Coffee, bacon and paracetamol.

Other than that, as long as I am warm, dry and not sleeping directly on the ground so that I can still feel the lumps, bumps, stones and dips in my back two hours later, I absolutely love the sunrises and birdsong in the arse end of nowhere punctuated by the smell of bacon and hot black coffee in a tin mug with two sugars for energy.

DP got it absolutely right one year. Four nights camping on the moor, followed by a surprise weekend in a luxury apartment by the sea for hot water, a fancy bed and mattress and a bit of paddling on the beach.

Try a lovely woodland campsite next to a river with a campfire ... Ah bliss

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I love camping, but only with the following requirements;

A vehicle. It's shit having to carry everything on your back and walking too far just pisses me off/makes my hip hurt too much (mainly because of the following essentials).
An all seasons tent.
Winter warmth sleeping bag.
Self inflating mattress.
Kelly kettle.
Shovel.
Nobody else around.
Coffee, bacon and paracetamol.

Other than that, as long as I am warm, dry and not sleeping directly on the ground so that I can still feel the lumps, bumps, stones and dips in my back two hours later, I absolutely love the sunrises and birdsong in the arse end of nowhere punctuated by the smell of bacon and hot black coffee in a tin mug with two sugars for energy.

DP got it absolutely right one year. Four nights camping on the moor, followed by a surprise weekend in a luxury apartment by the sea for hot water, a fancy bed and mattress and a bit of paddling on the beach.

My God, what is the shovel for?!

Is it to bury the person who made you go? It would be for me.

'Is it be a red flag early in relationships if a man wants to go wild camping? Shows a total disregard for women imo."

This belongs on Mumsnet madmess! LTB!!!

Camping reminds me of that scene from Friends where Joey goes - 'if a blind man got his sight back would he still walk around like this? 🤷🏻‍♂️'

And I feel that just embodies the experience of sleeping in a tent. We invented roofs for a reason, the Anglo Saxons weren't like oh sleeping under this sheet in snow is banging let's invent real roofs so we can just do this for holiday. The thought of roughing it in torrential rain is just terrible.

@pictish

I can’t seem to quote your post but I realised I hadn’t written mine well! I’m definitely not a stay at home person, I love exploring.

I meant I want to be away somewhere with a comfy bed, hot shower and loo (not necessarily my own).

I love travelling and have been all over, hoping to explore more of the UK soon as well. I just won’t do it camping! I don’t necessarily need luxury, I love a Premier Inn but for £30 a night I’d rather travel and stay there than in a tent.

DH is Ex military and has therefore done a fair bit of ‘extreme camping’. He thought an actual campsite was luxury rather than roughing it.

But a combination of age, and meeting and marrying me has given him a new appreciation of 5 star hotels. 😄

DifficultBloodyWoman

When we last camped in the US I always needed the loo in the middle of the night. So the choice was trek to the toilet block, hoping not to meet a bear in the dark or just pee in the woods, hoping not to meet a bear. Or lie awake trying to convince myself I didn’t need to go. Other than that I love camping. That first cup of coffee in the morning light with birds singing and squirrels and deer around is magical.

I'm trying too, but it's no holiday!

@BrozTito

Cos if its a massive pissaround to make dinner you just eat a ration pack instead

What? Like in the war?

People loved the war

Nocturnalcafe she didnt include a portaloo so i think that narrows down the shovel's function.

You need a pee bucket for your own tent

Those are not words that should be said in relation to any holiday; the horror!!

And solar power generators but not so efficient in Britain

We use solar so we don’t need a mains hook up. It works well.

Even in Wales.