What are your school holiday rules?

[BikeRunSki]

So I’ve got a month off work - largely leave that was cancelled last year due to our workload as an organisation. I thought it would be a good idea to take my leave over the schiol holidays, rather than the dc going to clubs, bubbles bursting etc.

I have 2 dc, ds(very nearly 13), dd (9). So far this is mostly what has happened:
DS - laid in bed, played in PS4, played on iPad.
Actually played a board game with me. Reluctantly took DM’s dog for a walk. Played on the PS4 with his mate. Made no effort to help with making foud, putting away washing, helping round tee hides at all. Pocket money has been stopped.

DD- screamed at me. Screamed at ds. Screamed at dh. Sulked. Refused to leave the house to talks dig out, so I had to stay In with her. Screamed and sulked some more.

I can’t do this for another month!

So what are your rules, I thinking of

Make your own breakfast
No gaming until you are dressed
No lunch unless you help

What else can I say?

Gosh let them relax ! My dd is 9 if she wants to lie in until midday that's fine by me (not that she would !) or stay in her Pj's all day that's fine too.

@ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba same here !!

@lastcall

If my children screamed at me in such a manner they'd be cut off from the wifi instantly.

I did that this afternoon. She stopped screaming long enough to realise that she had to calm down. She’s resorted to just sulking now.

^
Rules - not many! Mainly around keeping going with their music practice over the summer. They each take a turn to cook / wash up the evening meal, as well as making their own breakfast and lunch every day.

That’s pretty much what I was thinking. Nothing Draconian.

Ds is 15 - we're both working though apart from a couple of weeks holiday. Ds has a water sports club one day a week - otherwise: no electronics in bed, dressed before 12, 4 hours off screen a day, at least 1 hour outside a day, and he has three non negotiable jobs to do at some point in the day.

Some harsh responses Bike. I'd stop pocket money too, with absolutely zero effort from your teen.

Here (14) I've set a target - pigsty of a bedroom tidied up by Friday, it is not progressing well. Phone will be removed for the afternoon tomorrow if there's no progress. It is a permanent battle.

It isn't about power games at all, it is about contributing to the family unit.

I insist on being dressed/showered by 10am otherwise we would be looking at a 2pm start.

It is a difficult age.

I'm afraid I would add a time limit to the gaming if that is all that was being done.

After the year they've had I am v relaxed with my two teenagers. Not to mention that the oldest has almost completed 20 straight days of isolation without having had a whiff of Covid.

No rules here apart from being nice toeach other and trying to have some fun if we're ever allowed out again!!

@lollipoprainbow

I hate rules, structure, schedules etc. loathe school runs with a vengeance. I know I'm in the minority but I loved both lockdowns from that perspective, I really didn't mind homeschooling but I despised having to remember when kids needed to log on.

So the very last thing I want during holidays is rules. today I got up at 10.18am.
my youngest us 7 so he can either make his own breakfast or ask an older one to help.
(obv they can get DH or wake me up)
I'd be a massive hypocrite if I set rules when I revel in not having any for myself!
we have no obligations to do anything or be anywhere so there's no need to be strict
I love it!

Op how are you they doing in school? Sorry if its been mentioned... If they need to actually do work I'd leave everything else and gently encourage some of of them that in and around the ps4. If the teen is a doing well etc

I'd be inclined to let them rest, slob but put some gentle encouragement in to help but ask softly and say its helpful etc.

Same with little one.

I did quite a deep clean today and dc helped as I was doing it but little one is struggling at school so for her.. As long as she's good and concentrate with her tutors u don't ask for muxh more.. Yet.

Lying on the floor sofa in my night dress watching films, Prince and pauper, wandering around the garden was a highlight from my youth

Pretty much the only rule we have is no more than 36hrs in the same pyjamas.

I mean this in the nicest way but you need to breathe, relax and lower your expectations, otherwise your just going to make yourself (and your children) unhappy, stressed out and not enjoying there summer.
Obviously bad behaviour like your dd screaming at you is completely unacceptable, but things like not letting them manage their own time seem like a hill I wouldn’t want to die on (even if it means they slob out and don’t do much now and then)
Pick your battles, you say you have days out planned so let them also just chill. It will make your life easier too rather than to force activities/routines on kids that aren’t interested in them.

We are all up and dressed by about 10 here, but that's because we have to walk the dog. Eldest is only 8 so they both have to come with me.

The only rule we have (same as school days) is consoles/ iPads etc are only played with at the weekend.
Main reason for this rule is that the youngest would happily do nothing else but play all day if allowed and can't self regulate at all. His ability to control his emotions also goes out the window when gaming for too long and I don't think it's healthy.

I do try to keep them busy though. We do clubs, gym, sports, new parks etc. But obviously mine are younger and I'm no under no elusion that things aren't that easy with teens.

Dd 13. Aim is to visit something different or educational every week. Dd is tidy so no issue there. Job - unstack dishwasher and help tidy. Continue 1 hour a week tutor. Plus study together dh’s language - we started in feb / mar this year - dd has been refusing to even speak and now can say a few things...

Is pretty free to do stuff, see friends, sleepovers, bus into town etc.

I think it really helps if they have local friends that they can spend time with and safe space to do so. I guess if you’re out in the sticks or stuck in an area with little outdoor space it’s more difficult.
Gaming is a tough one because it’s become social too, but it’s not great to be sat in front of a screen all day.
Do you allow their friends over a lot? Much easier for them to entertain themselves with a mate.
I don’t think there’s a right or wrong thing to do here. Find a happy medium for your family. I like people up and dressed by 10 and plenty of time out of the house. Jobs that contribute to the running of the house, bed rooms I’m more relaxed about but beds made every day, any laundry in basket and clean things away in drawers. Any games, toys etc, put previous away before getting next out as minimum.

Something helpful (cleaning, laundry etc)
Something sensible (whatever they can justify, maths, typing, drawing, writing, craft etc)
Something together (without fighting, jigsaw, game )
Something sporty.

They’ve a 2 hour daily limit for gaming, but can still use the iPads for educational games,

Planning to get them to help cook, 11year old cooked lunch today. Realised I should allow at least an extra 30 minutes….

I would e.g. let them game for an hour in the morning on the promise of helping out later.

I like that OutofTrousers.

Each to their own but I'm a single parent with a very stressful full time job. I had a Saturday job at 13 and helped out at home.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a habitable room, 10am start five days a week and the odd chore for an iPhone, various paid for apps and an allowance.

These teens could be making their own way in the world in as little as three years. Learning to pull together domestically is not an unrealistic expectation.

@OutOfTrousers - I love that. Thank you.

Yes I like that too!

3 kids here aged 8-15, our only rule is they must each leave the house every day, and be out of PJs by lunchtime.

It helps to have kids that want to be helpful. Ds is 7. One of his jobs is cleaning out the lint trap in the tumble dryer because he saw me do it one day and was utterly fascinated at all the fluff gathered. Every time he passes it, he checks it and empties it. I don't even ask any more.

The 10yo likes to help cook. Shes a parky tucker but she will chop/fry/blitz/slow cook anything and gets lots of enjoyment from it.

Find the thing that they like to help with. It could be something totally bizarre. But helps.

None whatsoever, apart from letting me know where he is, and when he'll be back, if he ever makes it out of his room.

I think you need to dial down your expectations. I don’t really have any rules for DS 14. He’s on holiday after a bloody difficult year. He can laze about playing on his phone if he wants to. It’ll be boring soon enough and meanwhile he’s chilled and I can get on with what I want to. Give it a week or two and they’ll be keener to go out or do other activities.

Just let them be kids FFS. Let them play, laze around, enjoy themselves. They'll be grown up soon enough and do you really want them looking back on their childhood knowing they always had to do chores, had no pocket money and were constantly moaned at?

no rules in our house for 9 yr old over the summer holidays, She sleeps til she wants goes to bed when she wants (normally about 10!)She tidies her stuff away after use but thats always been the same, We have no set eating times and sometimes our days dont get going til after lunch but thats ok,I can;t see the problem. Back in a strict routine in september so now is the time to break free please yourself and relax.