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Original poster

What are your 12/13 year old like on holiday?

45 replies

Shoeshine283 · 28/07/2021 16:02

Having a week away in a lovely barn conversion. Plenty of outdoor space, a hot tub, beaches, countryside. DS is 12.5 years and being a complete whinge bag. He's coming along with us but under duress. It's such a stark contrast to our last holiday (pre covid when he was 11) its taken me by surprise and I'm feeling quite tearful that those lovely fun holidays are over.

Hopefully our next holiday will be abroad with more fun stuff to do for him.

What are your pre teens like? Do you leave them to it or force them to join in? Finding it difficult to get a balance. I think he'd love the holiday if we left him to sit on his phone all day but that's not going to happen!

OP posts:

Mama1980 · 28/07/2021 17:42

My ds1 is nearly 14 and he is wants to see everything and do everything - much as he always has.....he's inexhaustible.

NoraLuka · 28/07/2021 17:48

@MoiraNotRuby totally agree they are just as bad in pairs! I have a 15 y o and nearly 14 y o, when one isn’t complaining it’s the other! I remember going canoeing a couple of years ago and by the end of it they were literally hitting each other with the paddles 🙄 then when we got home kept going on about the lovely canoeing trip!

I just let them stay on their phones some of the time, then we go out a bit. I try to let them choose what to do but if they don’t want to do anything, I find something they should like and try to make the best of things.

Eatenpig · 28/07/2021 18:00

@Shoeshine283

Eatenpig the website for where we were staying says dogs not to be left. He's really good at home on his own so we had planned on leaving him occasionally (on the advice that most accommodation does allow it if asked) however the owners have said they'd prefer it if we didn't. Another thing to check next time we go away! He's only a year old so it's all a bit new to us still.

Blimey that wouldn't occur to me tbh. I'd just leave him. We leave other room doors shut etc and leave toys / food & water etc. We give him a massive walk in morning and leave him to sleep in afternoon

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MoiraNotRuby · 28/07/2021 18:02

[quote NoraLuka]@MoiraNotRuby totally agree they are just as bad in pairs! I have a 15 y o and nearly 14 y o, when one isn’t complaining it’s the other! I remember going canoeing a couple of years ago and by the end of it they were literally hitting each other with the paddles 🙄 then when we got home kept going on about the lovely canoeing trip!

hellcatspangle · 29/07/2021 14:33

You say he's outdoorsy - do you do geocaching? It makes walks more interesting (you can get the app on your phone)

BlueLobelia · 29/07/2021 15:02

One of mine is 12 and he just moans all the time if he is taken off his gaming stuff. I do alot of chivvying and saying 'Isn't This Exciting!! to him. (I annoy myself never mind him).

They are getting to the age where doing anything with their parents is embarrassing and a bit naff. Don't take it personally. rest assured that if you keep going away and having family holidays he will one day appreciate them (in retrospect).

and ignore social media posts. Thatr's just a snapshot of life, not real everyday life. What you don't see is that other parents have had to bribe their kids extra screen time to get them into the pool at centreparcs (ahem,not me, nope not me at all).

MichaelGovesBeard · 29/07/2021 15:11

My two are a similar age but are still happy enough with walks and the beach. Typical day would be up and out by 1030am, walk along coast path/into next town or whatever, pub/cafe lunch when we got there, back home and let them go on phones for a while, then wetsuits on and down to beach for the rest of the day, back home for bbq tea and another evening walk after if they fancy it.

Sometimes we split up according to sex and I go shopping with dd while the males go gocarting or something but generally we don’t go to theme parks as they’re so pricey.

We’ll do a zoo and castle as well which will fill a day depending on how far away they are.

We do get some grumpiness but I find it best to pretend it’s not happening and then they usually snap out of it without having to “lose face” by backing down. It is hard work sometimes though.

That said, my two have only ever had uk holidays so their expectations may be slightly lower than others!!

MichaelGovesBeard · 29/07/2021 15:13

Meant to add that I’d certainly leave the dog for a short time even if the wiener said he’d prefer you not to. Unless it’s forbidden in the t&c.

MichaelGovesBeard · 29/07/2021 15:13

Wiener? The owner

BlueLobelia · 29/07/2021 15:17

'weiner' worked in that context though!

Toastfiendish · 29/07/2021 15:20

I'm an only child and hated all holidays with my parents as a teenager. It was really boring and I'm outdoorsy and read lots but who wants to be stuck with their parents for a week as a teenager? They did things with family friends or allowed me to take someone so I had company or went on holidays themselves whilst I was on school trips etc.

dryasaboner · 29/07/2021 15:27

I think it's the norm for a pre teen child tbf. Saying that my DD at that age moaned about everything and had to be forced to come alone with us but DS wasn't like that at all. Different kids I guess

gogohm · 29/07/2021 15:29

Ignore people, nothing wrong with taking kids on a walking holiday! Yes organise a treat day or two but they can be outside in nature etc - make sure you have binoculars etc and encourage it to be more than simply walking. Both of mine from 16 have booked walking holidays with friends independently of me - yes we had the no WiFi whinging but just ignore. Plenty of board games and teach them to play poker with pasta shapes

Champagneforeveryone · 29/07/2021 15:31

This sounds so familiar (even down to DS being an only child) I've come to the conclusion that it's similar to holidaying with a toddler where you need routine, activities and regular food.

We're off on a canal boat next week and DS (17) seems quite up for the challenge, though the path has been smoothed with the promise of regular pub meals and the opportunity to drive part of the way there and also to drive the boat.

In the past we have compromised and allowed him to stay at home for the most mind numbingly dull outings, in exchange for him accompanying us on the faintly more interesting ones with a good grace

orchidsonabudget · 29/07/2021 15:32

Lurking

Original poster

Shoeshine283 · 29/07/2021 16:04

Thanks for all the replies. He's at a theme park with DH today so I've had a lovely whinge free day. Last day today. This holidays been a learning curve and I'll make sure the next one is different but on the whole I think we've all enjoyed aspects of it. We've said that next year we'll do a weekend away with one of his mountain biking mates, start off with a couple of nights and see how it goes.

I think it's important to get things in perspective. He's got a very nice life, yes a sibling might make things more fun but there's nothing I can do about that. I do carry a lot of guilt (unnecessarily I know) about him being an only child.

I think having the dog with us and him going from being a boy on our last holiday to a pre teen on this one has made things a bit tricky but we'll get it right next time.

Thanks for all the suggestions.

OP posts:

Iloveitall · 29/07/2021 19:18

Yep. We took our 12 and a half year old camping. He couldn’t really be bothered with it much. Enjoyed some of the things we did once we got there but clearly didn’t want to do some of them when we talked. Only things like trips to a beach etc. I think it’s the age. I’m sure he’s dreaming about logging back onto a screen as soon as we get home tomorrow!

HerRoyalNotness · 29/07/2021 19:22

What I noticed with mine is that he needed more activities. We were at the beach and needed to do surfing, kayaking etc… all things his father said they’d do and didn’t

LtDansleg · 29/07/2021 19:35

I think it can be a bit rubbish on their own at that age, I’d have definitely brought a friend. We’ve just come back from 4 nights camping with a 14,11 and 4yo plus 2 dogs. Luckily mine are still easily amused and spent 5 days climbing tees, building dens and paddling in streams, didn’t spend a single day at a proper activity. Saying that there were a few other children on the site and they all made friends and kept each other amused.

Toastfiendish · 29/07/2021 19:35

Sorry to add to any only child guilt woes - the only time I ever really cared about this actually was on holiday.

I suppose all I meant was that in response to PP suggesting activities he might like my parents could have literally taken me to anything at that age and I would have been grumpy... Some teenagers are lovely and continue to actually want to be with their families and others don't. I didnt want you wasting your cash and energy.

The mountain biking thing sounds amazing.

I get on well with my parents now and even voluntarily go on holiday with them. It's not forever.

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