How did your house needs change as DCs got older?

[Scrunchies]

Am currently planning our self build ‘forever home’ in the very early stages. Currently have 1 baby and hoping for another before the 3 +years or so before we move in. I know there’s loads of info about designing a house around young children, playroom / sight lines etc, but what about when they are 10years +?

Friends currently selling their house as ‘too open plan’ for their older kids who need space. When I grew up we just went to our bedrooms for space so have no idea how to futureproof in today’s world. She talks of 2nd ‘kids’ living rooms/teenage dens and homework spaces. Wise MNers, what would you do if you were planning your dream home?

I'd definitely recommend a separate area for teens so they can bring their mates back / crash the night without disturbing the rest of the family. It's a good way to keep an eye on who they're hanging out with too without being too obvious

I was advised you need three separate living spaces - so, somewhere mum and dad can watch tv/chil out, while child 1 plays their instrument and child 2 plays their computer game/does their homework.

We have one toddler and one on the way, at the moment almost everything downstairs is open plan except one small space DH uses to WFH, but the large L-shaped open plan space is designed so we can add a folding/pocket door in the future so it can comfortably be divided into two. when we planned our home we did think DH might WFH a few days a week but never imagined both of us doing so: at the moment I use our 'spare' bedroom and plan to hope our children want to share for a few years. but will need to figure out a workspace for me.

So I would definitely make sure all bedrooms designed have space for everything to have a desk, probably even including yours. And a second shower/bathroom somewhere - our downstairs loo is a wet room with a guest shower, we don't have an en suite but figure it will help us when there are a couple of teenagers trying to get out the door.

But our toddler won't even use the 'L' part of our l-shaped open plan space, she wants to be in your eyeline at all times. So I do think a big open plan family space that can be subdivided, or is in addition to smaller spaces, is the way forward because I think with under-10s they do want to be with you a lot.

We've needed more space the older they have become -even now the older ones have their own homes.
I would say make sure they can each have a room that will fit a king size bed in, with room to move around. Plus a spare for other guests. Partners/spouses seem to arrive quite quickly.
Enough bathrooms to ensure you can all shower or bath before church on Christmas day/before the neighbours anniversary party or Goodwood etc.
A secure garden space for initially dogs but then likely children. An ability to ensure pools and ponds are lockable/fillable or removeable.

An outdoor eating area with shade, lighting and heating and shelter.
A boot room with direct access from the garden and which includes a lavatory, a very large, low sink for dogs or toddlers and storage for wet weather gear, wetsuits, large toys and suchlike.
Two sitting rooms to avoid conflict about who is watching what or where to play cards.
A kitchen/breakfast room as main community area with adequate seating and space to move around still. If this can be accessed directly from outside or just through a rear porch so people can let themselves in easily, it saves answering the doorbell.
A study areas for anyone who is working from home. Teenagers needs private study space that is conducive to work. As do any adults living at home.
A formal dining room so that supper parties can go ahead without constant interruption.
Good soundproofing.
A large laundry cupboard that is accessible to all to grab extra towels etc. Similarly, a large pantry with open access.
Sufficient parking to allow for an ever increasing number and size of cars.

I think 10 plus just need really good bedrooms and two bathrooms.
Then downstairs you only need a wuiet snug/lounge and a kitchen diner and ady adult iffice space needed.

This only works if you are confident managing screens in rooms. Just a nice big room that could fit a good wardrobe, a standard double bed and desk and a good chair. Then it can be a quiet space, a place for friends or they can do homework and spend time gaming if thats what they like.

If you cant manage screens in rooms as i know some people dont like them or cant work oit the timers and blocks, you need more downstairs space so a study space that is quiet with a computer, a gaming space where a different child can game with friends and not disturb the other child and a quiet adult space like a very comfy kitchen diner.

For teens I would say as many bathrooms as possible and bedrooms big enough to have a seating area in.

Teens need bedrooms where you can fir a double bed and a desk. And it’s great to have an extra sitting area where they can invite friends round . If they can have a bathroom each that’s great. Saves lots of fighting about showers.
My db lives in Canada where all the houses have basements with a laundry area and a space for the kids to hang about in. It can be totally shut off from the rest of the house if it gets messy and you have visitors round
It’s great but I don’t know how much that would cost to add into the house .

Absofrickinglutely to a 2nd living space for teens. DS (13) has his best mate over today, and has asked if he can sleep over. This means them commandeering the living room, which has the PS4 and only TV in the house. Which means that DP and I will be relegated to our room watching Netflix on a laptop. Not a major issue in the scheme of things and both DS and his mate are lovely boys who are great company, but it would be amazing if we had a den type area for them to use.

Also, don't underestimate the importance of outdoor space for older kids/teens. Lots of people seem to think that gardens are only really needed when they are small but ours gets tons of use by DS and his friends playing all kinds of sports.

Sorry, haven’t RTFT but we have a large kitchen/diner/family room with 3 sofas and a tv and large fireplace where we tend to spend time early evening and during the day.
The children’s playroom is through an archway to this room.
At the front of the house we have a separate lounge. It’s nice to have a seperate space and it’s where DD usually goes with friends when they come over as she’s outgrowing the playroom a little now.

Oh, DD also has an en-suite as she has 2 younger brothers so that’s something to think about for upstairs, too.

We bought a four bed when ours were little, our priority was being within walking distance of the schools and other amenities...we didn't take into account the size of the bedrooms really.

As they got older I really wished we had bought something with bigger bedrooms, and possibly an extra lounge space. DH was adamant we weren't moving again so we ended up stuck there and it was a pain when they were teens. They hadn't got space for desks so homework was always done on the dining room table, that was another nuisance.

My DD 15 needs a big bedroom for herself with room for a desk and chair and also she uses lots of cupboards / chest of drawers for lots of clothes.

My DS 14 wanted silkie chickens so he needed us to have a garden suitable for chickens as well as a big room.

Bathrooms DD uses a lot, DS not very much so we have one bathroom with bath and shower and a downstairs toilet and sink and that's fine for us.

We had open plan when kids were younger and loved it, now we don't but wouldn't be opposed to it though useful now as wfh for dh to have an office.

If I had a much higher budget I would get a swimming pool before anything else.

If I could build from scratch I would have my kitchen surrounded by garden, playroom, dining room and utility/laundry.

The utility would also have a garden entrance, generous storage and possibly be a mudroom.

The dining room would lead on to a living room, that possibly links onto the other wall of the playroom.

The playroom would evolve over time from a secure toddler-safe zone, to a playroom with great storage and floor space, to a teen games room/lounge and eventually be a nice sitting area/library. It might eventually become a downstairs bedroom too.

All the doors would be sliding pocket doors so it can feel open plan or be closed off as required. Doorways and passageways would be generous with a view to eventually accommodating wheelchairs and zimmer frames.

There would also be a storage room downstairs, while the attic would be converted into bedrooms or if space allowed a more interesting area - yoga space/planetarium/art studio/home cinema or whatever.

The bedrooms would all be en-suite with built in wardrobes. The master would have two ensuites, and a dressing room though initially that would be a nursery. There would also be a cunningly disguised secret room with wine and chocolate and possibly the builder so he can never tell.

Family bathroom plus ensuites and a downstairs loo.

Utility room for washing machine and space to dry clothes.

Study.

Our playroom now belongs to the rabbits 🐇

Our living room now belongs to DS and his indoor 🐇🐇s Garden has the silkie chickens and our cat now has dementia and decided to live only in dining room and kitchen.

I have teens.

Their own bedrooms is ideal. Each bedroom needs to house at least a desk and double bed. Built in wardrobe or clothing storage also a must. Plug sockets are a must because teens own lots of gadgets. My teens also have full length mirrors in their rooms.

When they are older open plan is not good. You want to contain the sound of gaming, FaceTime and other gadgets to different areas. My son is playing on the PlayStation with a gaming headset which means I can't hear the sound of him gaming but he's chatting to his friend which occasionally turns into yelps iyswim.

Luckily my kids listen to their music on AirPods so music is not an issue

Very important - enough bathrooms. Doesn't have to be a shower or bath in each but toilets and mirrors are a must-especially in the morning. If the boiler is a bit dodgy then upgrade that would everyone can have a hot shower in the morning.