Am I being suffocating?

[Jusrs]

Wondering if I am suffocating DP and the relationship. Being blunt, I’m used to being pursued quite fiercely, which I have never liked much and has ultimately put me off people!

Met DP a year or so ago and I really love him. I’ve started wanting to speak daily (we can’t seem to do less than an hour on the phone so this ends up being a lot if I want to speak daily). I want to be in touch throughout the day which is often impossible for us both because of our work. I get frustrated if our plans alter even if there’s a reasonable reason for it. I think I come across as desperate to book in the next meet up.

All the things that used to ultimately put me off people

Am I being too much?

Yes a bit much I think!

Do you feel insecure about how much he likes you?

Sorry but yes.

When I say want to speak daily I mean on the phone. We usually text

@lannistunut I didn’t used to be but the more I’ve fallen for him the more scared I’ve been to lose him

Yeah you're being suffocating. When I'm at work I don't want to talk to my partner to be honest.

Maybe you need to talk to someone about what's happening. You are at risk of getting your heart broken, which is the risk of being in love, but the way you are acting is going to make that more likely to happen!

Is there anything he does that is driving this, is he kind, loving, keen? Sometimes if they are an arse it creates this insecurity.

Do you plan to move in together ? If you're speaking daily for an hour surely this would be easier?

You’d suffocate me: I’m far too busy to be watching my phone all the time. Whether you suffocate your boyfriend depends on whether he’s also a fan of long daily phone calls about nonsense and texting throughout the day with updates. Does he instigate the calls and messages? Does he show interest in carrying on conversations or try to close them down?

If you like consistency, why not have set times once or twice a week that you set aside for a phonecall so that you have that fixed reference to look forward to?

This sounds like my nightmare sort of relationship.

Although to be fair, I’d find scheduled phone calls just as suffocating, if I had to turn down impromptu invitations from friends etc to make a time-fixed duty phone call to a clingy boy or girlfriend.

Is all the contact because you’re insecure about how he feels about you and need reassurance that he still likes and thinks about you? That sounds like something worth exploring with yourself if so.

To be blunt- yes that’s way too intense and I personally would run a mile from it.

Yes back off your both working - some people can’t even have their phones with them at work. A few texts and speaking every few days is fine.

Are you looking to move in together?

It’s really irrelevant what other people think, it depends on if he finds you suffocating. I’ve had friends who have spoken to their partners for hours each night, and friends who go a few days with no contact. Neither of those options are good for me but they’re fine with their partners.

It’s only a problem if you’re not on the same page. Otherwise crack on.