If you have school aged children and are a SAHM, what does your day look like? *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[pandemicstress]

I have two children under 5. I poured a lot into work before becoming a parent but a lot changed when I went off for my first ML and since I've returned after the 2nd ML, I'm just not enjoying it as much.

I have underlying health conditions and my children do too so I'm finding everything exhausting at the moment. They are quite high needs and I have nothing left for myself after managing the kids, working etc.

I keep dreaming about giving up work but not sure if the grass just looks greener?! I never ever would've thought I would be happy without work in my life if you asked me 5 years ago. I loved the financial infdepenance, being challenged etc.

Soo tell me! What do you do with your day?

When my youngest was at primary it looked like this:

Home from school drop off ~9am

Days filled with combination of:

• supermarket shop 2x per week
• PTA (named role on committee)
• swimming 2x per week
• browsing charity shops for items for dress up days, books etc
• local arboretum
• occasional meeting friends for lunch, but not often
• any other jobs needing doing, housework, etc

Leave for school pickup 3pm

Evenings and weekends free for child centred activities, family time etc.

Eldest did GCSE whilst youngest still at primary and needed a lot of support due to SEN, so was around to help with revision etc.

Also available for school trips, I did a lot both for my DC's class and other year groups too.

I do housework, shopping, cooking. Plus some nice sitting down and watching a box set with an uninterrupted cup of coffee.
I also did school trips and helped out whenever school needed a volunteer

I stopped work at about your stage OP, in a similar position to you - I’d enjoyed work pre DC but the juggle became too much (City job and two non sleeping DC one with SN).

I’ve been off work for 4 years and during school days have done the following

• coffees with other SAH or part time working mums
• exercise
• laundry, tidying
• general life admin
• managing building work (we did a whole house renovation in my second year off work)
• home schooling during lockdowns

TBH however since our building project finished and both DC started school I’ve definitely found myself with not enough to do. I’m going back to work in September.

Thinking of the SAHMs with only school age kids that I know, most are looking at getting back to work in some form, even though they don’t need to financially. There are one or two who aren’t but instead they have got constant “projects” on the go - new dog, refurbishment project, learn a language etc.

I’ve worked on and off for years with contractors.
DD is secondary now and takes herself off to school early.
Once she’s gone I have my breakfast and have as much caffeine as I can handle.
I wash up and clean about. Put washing on. One morning I go and do a big shop. If it’s not raining I try to walk for one hour or so, alone or with friends.
I do all the home life admin, going to pick up prescriptions, items for the house and making phone calls. I cook a lot and batch cook a lot.
Lunch and often I do crafts in the afternoon. I like being here when DD gets home, have a chat. I will pop out again when she gets home sometimes.
She still has activities she needs driving to 3 nights a week as well.

It never sounds a lot but I don’t find it hard to fill the days.

I have to say I have quite often wished I’d moved to a less demanding job, rather than stopped work altogether. Would that be an option for you OP?

The day flies past to be honest. I don't have a huge amount of time once I've done laundry, ironing, general tidying, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc

Thanks all

@minipie One of the issues is that I work part time and will struggle to walk into a part-role in my field if I were to leave. I often wonder if I should I just trundle along but some days I feel like it's such a drag.

I've applied for an internal role (where I will hopefully get to keep my current hours) so see what happens with that.

If I knew I would be able to get back into workplace easily (and get the hours I wanted) I think I would strongly consider leaving

Go part time.
Some of these days sound mind numbingly boring.
Washing , cleaning , food shopping.
Does the rest of the family think the fairies do everything ?

You a lawyer by any chance OP?

Go swimming twice a week
Gym / run 4 times a week
Meet friends and my mum and sister for lunch regularly
Spa days
Volunteer
Go on school trips
Fundraise
Visit the library
Go for long walks in the peaks
Go shopping
Go to other cities for the day with friends / mum / sister
Read

All the housework and admin stuff is done during the days so evenings & weekends can be spent with the DC and they have my complete attention. Either clubs or days out or doing activities together.

@minipie

You a lawyer by any chance OP?

No, but it's a high pressure role

I crave the time for exercise but just can't fit it in, not only time wise but also energy wise (underlying health conditions). Not happy with the way I look right now and Exercise would help me feel better and also potentially improve my health.

I’ve had a variety of jobs over the past 15 years, since becoming a parent. High pressure jobs didn’t work for me - I came home wiped every day and it just wasn’t the life I wanted.
Not working gave me a lot of rest, but after a few months I missed a life outside of the home. Although I was never bored - my time was filled with lovely long dog walks, lots of cooking, exercise and housework.
I’ve now found a good balance by working 2 days a week in a nice job which I enjoy, hardly any stress (but also quite low paid).

I’m fortunate that my husband has a well paid job which he enjoys, as otherwise I’m not sure if the low pay would be a deal breaker and I’d go back to a more stressful but better paid job. There’s a balance to be found.

I had 5 nearly 6 years off and whilst ,the DC weren't at school all day I felt very busy. Loved it!;

By the time dc2 was starting in year 1 I felt bored and a bit like Cinderella.
I think if you are very well off and can indulge your hobbies without worrying about money then being SAHM can be great

if you are trying to be at home and not spend much then imo its bloody boring