Help me get used to the idea that I can no longer save

[Donationwitheverypack]

I really hope this doesn't come across as smug, I realise I'm in a fortunate position, despite the awfulness of the last few months.

DH died. He had a pension and some life insurance, I'm Ok. I have also always been a saver so I have some savings. I'm OK. I have a decent job of my own, although it pays a bit less that DH's did, so the "household" income is less than half what it was and the costs are largely the same.

I've been doing my sums and I can just about cover my monthly costs from income, plus there's the savings cushion, so I really have nothing to worry about.

However, I'm really struggling with the idea that what I have now is it, I'll never be in a position to increase savings, without significantly changing my lifestyle. Realistically, I'm going to eat into savings if I'm ever going to have things like holidays or new cars. Which should be OK, that's what the savings are for, but it's so alien to me not to be saving.

I’m sorry to hear about your dh. I think you realise that you are not in a bad financially position really, but Ned to adjust to a very big change, and no longer having the comfort that building your savings buffer once gave.

Will other aspects of your life change in the long term? Will your salary ever increase? Children leave school or university?

Can you invest your DH’s life insurance and pensions?? Take in a lodger? Move house? DM found herself in a similar situation 30 years ago. DH had to stop working through ill health, and died 12 years later, still relatively young. He had no life insurance and not many savings. DM was studying at the time DDad got ill, and gave that up and got an office job so she had a small, but reliable income. She sold our family home and we moved to a cheaper location. She invested the capital raised and we literally lived off baked beans and fresh air. As children (I’m one of 4) left, she let out rooms to lodgers, for income and company.

It’s not a nice situation but it’s not terrible, but you do need to be creative. Is your mortgage paid off? What financial commitments do you have?

Do you have a mortgage? When this is paid, you could start saving then. Could you get the house insulated and this would save on heating? Could you go through energy suppliers, shop around for insurance? Could you try and keep students or foreign exchange students? My neighbour does this and she is 70.

Could you try and get a small salary increase and save this? Do you work fulltime? You don't say how old you are. Would you be able to keep the house going if you were mortgage free and on a pension? If you are nearing retirement age and not in a position to keep students or keep working fulltime, it nay not be too bad, not being able to save. However if you are only 40s then you may need to get a salary increase, shop around for bills and keep students. If you have teenage children, I hope they pay housekeeping.

Mortgage paid off years ago. Yes, working full time. Children still at home, working FT and contributing. 51.

I don't think I'm in a strong position at my age to get better paid work, but I do have a decent professional job and reasonable pension to come.

Moving house is an interesting one. I do have a big house, but it's not in an expensive area and downsizing wouldn't release any money unless I moved back to a terraced ex council house, which was absolutely fine when we were starting out, but I don't want to go back there. To move to a "nice" retirement place would probably cost more.

Sorry to hear about your dh. If you can be frugal for the next few years and not draw out of savings, it may not be too bad. If you kept your car for 10 or 15 years, there is a saving to be had, rather than changing every few years. At 51, it may be ok. Could you keep a lodger or exchange students, just to get some money for holidays?

I would not move house. Moving and doing up another house would nearly cost more.

I spent the years 40 to 49 saving nothing. My dcs were young and I had to pay childcare. Also I entered the civil service on a low salary and there were very little promotions. I have started to save recently as dcs are nearing the end of primary school. Working from home so saving on petrol and food costs as I am not out of the house 10 hours a day. If you can be careful for a few years, it will be fine.

your house is paid of,you are in a very good position also savings/pension

how much is the house worth?
how many children?