Please help- first holiday abroad with lots of complications

[Livinginchaos]

I have never taken my children abroad but I have been saving for a big holiday next year. However I have no idea where to go and what to do. Please help!

My children will be 12 and 9. We have added complications:

1. I have a chronic illness and so cannot walk a lot or be very active. But I equally don't want to sit around a pool for a whole week. Don't like all inclusive because I like to go out and explore.

1. DS1 has severe allergies so I need to be not in the middle of nowhere in case of anaphylaxis. He is also allergic to legumes which makes Mediterranean and some European countries difficult. Eg lupin flour in pastries and chickpeas, lentils, beans. I would get an allergy card to translate, but I am worries about the difficulty in explaining the severity of his reactions in a different language and with a possible laid back attitude that you often get in southern Europe.

1. DS2 has autism and adhd and is easily stressed out. He needs a quiet place to retreat to and we need to be flexible with what we do whilst there. He won't cope with structured activities well.

I havent been abroad for so long, I don't know where to start. A bit of me thinks USA might be good for allergies but a long flight tricky for autistic son.

Please help! I am open to all ideas.

Have you considered a cruise?

Plenty of places to visit but lots of chances for you to rest. Kids clubs if your children want them.

We have used P and O and they are fantastic with allergies. They also have a full medical centre onboard.

Ds is autistic and the staff on board have always been amazing with him. We can always find a quiet area to hide in if needed and when onboard getting back to the cabin is easy.

Good luck finding the perfect holiday for you.

What about an apartment or villa rather than a hotel room, so DS2 will be able to have a familiar safe space, it's quieter, and you should be able to test a bit more too.

How about Ireland? We had a lovely stay at Clonakilty Park hotel in Cork. There’s masses to do and visit nearby, including the West Cork Model Railway Village which has an old-style train that picks people up at the hotel en route to Clonakilty and Inchydoney (where there’s a blue flag beach). The hotel has a Jungle Gym area over 2 levels for 4-12yrs and also a Teen Zone (with Xboxes, Playstations, air hockey etc).

I also suggest a cruise, they are fantastic with people with additional needs. You could explore in each port but it doesn’t have to be very physical as coach tours are always offered. The medical teams are great and they are also good at dealing with dietary requirements.

I think @Sirzy idea of a cruise is perfect! Seems to tick all your boxes.

What do you want in terms of weather, activities, language, cultural differences?

The Channels Islands actually feel surprisingly French and have better weather and nice beaches, whilst being not really foreign. The Netherlands has nice beaches and cities, is very efficient and is basically bilingual and should be ok with allergies. German or Swiss lake resorts will have better weather and I hope would be ok with allergies, although in Germany English might be more of a problem. The Italian & French bits of Switzerland are beautiful and have most of the good bits of Italy & France without the stress, but they're expensive.

Oh wow. Brilliant ideas. Thank you so much!
I havent been keen on cruises in the past but will definitely look into that as it does sound like it could work really well for us . Thanks everyone.

I am worries about the difficulty in explaining the severity of his reactions in a different language and with a possible laid back attitude that you often get in southern Europe.
Really? In Italy I generally find allergies are taken very seriously - more so than in the UK.

I was also going to suggest the Channel Islands, you won't have a language barrier and things feel slightly foreign without being too different if that makes sense. We're on the northern half of Scotland so the temperature is way better for us, it feels like a holiday.
Also the Netherlands, we go there often in normal times. Ds has serious allergies to strawberries and tomatoes (bizarre combo but there you go), we've got allergy cards in English and Dutch and have always been taken very seriously there.
I donr know how much mobility you have but cycling there is so easy. You can hire adult 3 wheel bikes if balance is a problem, everything is mega flat and bikes are separate from traffic almost all the time. You could all potter around on an easy cycle. We've always stayed in Center Parcs type places, the company is called Landal, so you get your own little house and there is always a swimming pool and some other activities on site. Almost everyone speaks excellent English.

Could you try searching for autism friendly villas? They may also help cater for a special diet as well which would help with your allergic child.

Agree with pp about cruises, I think they’d be a good option for your situation.

I wouldn’t recommend the US for a first holiday with the kids - the visa and arrivals process can be a bit of a nightmare!

Florida? Disney have so much support for people with access needs and quiet spaces etc disneyland.disney.go.com/guest-services/cognitive-disabilities/

Italy take allergies very seriously but to the point of actually refusing to serve you any food! It was very frustrating.

We've travelled all over Europe with multiple food allergies and they have always been taken very seriously.

The US is terrible for food hygiene, like you can't actually automatically trust restaurants bad and you're reasonably likely to get sick unless you stick to MacDonalds and big chains. I don't think there's anywhere in the EU that has such lax food hygiene. That would make me very worried about taking a kid with allergies, because I doubt they're any better with allergies than hygiene. I don't know if they're magically ok with allergies, or if the trick is to only eat in McDs and other big chains. That, combined with a long flight and visa problems would put me off.

Thanks everyone. You have certainly opened my eyes to some big assumptions I had made. I will definitely reconsider Europe.