Not one person listens to me

[Calmyertits]

I was speaking to DP who looked back at me with a blank look. He didnt listen to a damn thing id just said. I refused to repeat myself. I spend all day, every day repeating myself. My son does not listen. My daughter, does not listen. My parents dont listen to me or show any intrest in what im saying. My in laws, point blank ignore me. Its wearing me down, my thoughts, opinions and feelings, matter to no one. Aren't worth any ones time. And i try to work out why i feel irrelevant when something as simple as acknowledging im speaking, taking the time to put their phone down, turn their heads, not start talking to someone else instead, gawping at the tv, saying everything MULTIPLE times, is too much, for everyone in my life.

This is my life as well. Nobody listens but when it goes tits up when my advice is ignored, they come running to me to clean it up

I could have written this! It feels shit and i wish i bad some advice or knew how to help.

I say this daily... I’m expected to listen to everyone else drone on about shite but nobody bothers to listen to me

I hear ya OP.

It's a horrible gut wrenching realisation when you notice your own invisibility. Because it feels like you're good to be around for all the things people want you to do that they don't want to do themselves - cleaning, cooking, organising everything, life admin etc - but when it comes to your opinions, feelings and generally what you have to say, they couldn't give a fuck. I refer to myself as RoboMum in these situations because the people in my life are happy for me to do the mechanical every day shit, but then I'm expected to switch into hibernation mode and only be turned on when they're ready for me to do a RoboMum task.

I have no advice, but I want to say you're not alone and your feelings are completely valid. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you're over reacting

Say everything once and don’t repeat yourself, they’ll learn. (Assuming at least some of this is stuff for them, what they want for tea etc)

Sorry. What was that you said?

I almost added that bit on to be honest but changed my mind, i agree. As long as everyone else has what they want, need and expect, im invisible

I can even stop speaking mid sentence because i realise no ones paying any attention and no one even notices

@Calmyertits I often (for my own amusement) talk gibberish to see if anyone is listening. Eg "And then the monkey told me to get a life, so I handed him a fidget spinner and he shoved it in his ear".

VeniVidiWeeWee - not funny, uncalled for and horrible comment

@IDespairOfTheHumanRace

VeniVidiWeeWee - not funny, uncalled for and horrible comment

I take my amusement where I can. I don't require your permission or approval.

There's a theory: anything after six words and it's heard as blah blah blah blah
So, get to the point quickly.
Assertive people say, "the kitchen's a mess and while I'd like to cook in it, I won't until it's clean"
rather than, "who left the kitchen in such a state, why doesn't anyone put their dishes in the dishwasher, I'm sick of being taken for granted blah blah blah."

Veni, your post was funny.

My family are the same. But DH cancelled our summer holiday because he decided he didn't want to go and we would holiday at home.
So I decided I would also have a holiday...and only do household chores if and when someone else was doing them too. It didn't go down very well, but the point was made.

I really struggle with that feeling that I can't get a sentence out because I am waiting for my husband and daughter to just start talking. They quite often do and then will occasionally come back and say 'well carry on then.' I just feel like I am clawing for their attention but when I dig my heels in and refused to repeat I'm the one that looks like a shit and an accused of being stroppy.

I feel the same hummingbeebox. I feel like while I'm talking my family are just waiting for a chance to jump in. If I'm telling a story of something that's happened, MIL will cut me off mid sentence and start talking about something similar that happened to her. Usually something I've heard a hundred times before but I'm too polite to talk over her. I feel like every sentence I ever start is left unfinished. I try not to take it personally and I think, well at least they are inspired and energised by my conversation, but it's frustrating as hell. I think that's why I joined Mumsnet, to be honest, just so I can complete a sentence in my own time 😂

@mangomelba yes me too! It's nice to finish a thought, start to finish. Awful isn't it? I think it makes me less interesting too as I don't feel like I can say anything properly. I'm not a rambler, I do get to the point day to day, but honestly it's as if I'm just an inconvenience.

I have noticed this has only happened since I became a mum. Family members also seem to forget that I work and seem to think I will be around to let electricians in, take deliveries etc. When I point out I will be at work they always seem surprised. I'm quite senior and work on/run high profile projects!

I actually had someone turn off in the middle of a conversation pick up there phone abs start scrolling.

I say things and ask people things and they actually ignore me.
I don’t talk much anymore.

It happens in my house. DH will interrupt. I now refuse to carry on with what I was saying. I find I often do most of the listening in conversations. Even with friends I am very fond of, there is often me listening 80% of the time, and I may get to speak 20%. However, I have a couple of friends where we get 'equal air time'. It took me a while to find them, but I have bound them to me with hoops of steel.

Maybe, if you can, look at ways to widen friendship circle, go out with them for coffee more, and 'interview' for these equal air time golden friends?

I know it's rubbish though. There is only DH in my house now, not to listen. DD has grown and flown, but it still makes me want to hit him with a frying pan.

Its not even just no one giving a shit what i say, as well as that ive been telling DS7 the same 500 things 5-10 times daily for the last 5 years, nothing ever goes in. Im on repeat every day aswell which doesnt help. DS Has been warned today im not repeating anything and ive given DD less tolerance in her not listening aswell. Ive caught myself saying the same thing over and over a few times and stopped. Off to work soon where my instructions DO get followed for the best part!