Hi I've name changed but have been posting on Mumsnet for years. I'm not sure what I'm hoping to achieve with this post aside from venting, so.. I'm just going to go ahead.
Dp and I planned for two babies, fairly close together. Dd1 was born and unfortunately things went a bit tits up from there, due to many of life's push backs we decided to wait until this August to try for a baby. I then became the main carer of an elderly family member, there is no other family around for them. We decided to halt our baby plans once again.
This doesn't mean I stopped desperately wanting a baby though. Dreaming about it, watching other people's baby vlogs, getting upset that life's just not fair.
Well due to a contraception failure and what must have been one very sneaky sperm, I'm pregnant. Just yesterday I was calling an ambulance for the person I care for, the idea of having to do that while heavily pregnant, or with a new born baby is something I can't imagine. What would even happen when the baby was born, I assume I'd have to get some outside carers in to help? To be honest the whole thing sounds stressful and terrible. Especially if the worst happens and I'm dealing with a death while pregnant/with a newborn.
But then I think about the miniscule baby in me, and know I'm keeping it. I want it and love it already. Am I mad? Anyone been through similar?