Normal or a bit weird? Friendship

[Eyepatchannie]

Is this scenario a little strange or is it completely normal?

I know two women - both have husbands and kids (although most of the ‘kids’ are adults now). They see each other every day after work and meet up on weekends. They regularly go on weekends away together. They very rarely do anything without each other - eg one will have plans with her husband and will invite the other one along. They sometimes meet up in groups of mutual friends but then walk around together away from the group talking in hushed tones. Mostly they meet up just the two of them though. When they’re not together they’re messaging very often.

I’m just wondering what other people’s thoughts on this are? Would it even strike you as odd? Maybe it’s just an intense friendship but my OH said the other day he wouldn’t be happy if I was spending that much time with a friend and it got me thinking that I’d probably feel the same.

Too intense. In my experience, this type of friendship then has a huge falling out and they never speak again. (Have seen it happen twice.)

Yes too much.

Wonder if they chuck their keys in a bowl 🤔.

Sounds more like a romantic relationship.

I don’t understand why you’re bothered. They are all happy so it’s really none of your business.

They sometimes meet up in groups of mutual friends but then walk around together away from the group talking in hushed tones.

I'd find that really rude!!

Yes their friendship does sound unusually intense and if it's excluding everybody else then will likely come before a big fall out.
Could be an affair, who knows!

Bluntness - I feel bad for one of the husbands involved as I think he misses spending time with his wife. Just wanted to see if other people thought it was a bit much to...which it seems they do!

@Eyepatchannie

Bluntness - I feel bad for one of the husbands involved as I think he misses spending time with his wife. Just wanted to see if other people thought it was a bit much to...which it seems they do!

But you don’t know. And there maybe reasons she doesn’t wish to spend more time with him

The point is, how people run their relationships when it doesn’t impact you is not your business. This is the epitome of curtain twitching.

Maybe...I kind of feel like that’s what mumsnet chat is for though? I wouldn’t discuss this with anyone irl (apart from my oh) so I came here to get opinions out of interest. It’s not harming anyone.

I'd say they are in a romantic relationship. Probably unintentionally

Pandascatswolves this is what I’m starting to suspect myself. Alternating between thinking it clearly is romantic and thinking no that’s bonkers. I have seen this exact scenario happen before and it ended up being an affair!!

Also if it turns out to be an affair it will have an impact on me and my family in a big way (can’t go into detail as too outing but it’s where my concern comes from).

They are probably swingers 🤣🤣

@Bluntness100

I don’t understand why you’re bothered. They are all happy so it’s really none of your business.

Yep, absolutely this

Why on earth would someone else’s friendship be of any interest or speculation to you @Eyepatchannie

Have you got too much time on your hands?

Impact on your life.. pack it in! You’re tattling and gossiping don’t try to cover it up with faux concern!

Surely it’s down to the husbands to sort out. If it’s an affair then you’ll just have to deal with the impact on has on you, speculating with randomers on the internet isn’t going to help anything.

Sounds more like a romantic relationship.

I thought that initially and then thought again. That's sounds too much even for a romantic relationship!

It sounds like extreme inconfidence me, but yes, not typical behaviour at all.

I get the impression one of these women is your brother's wife?

I think it’s deeply weird that you think they must be in a sexual relationship because they’re inseparable! Don’t you have any other models for closeness? And on what are you basing your idea that one of the husbands feels left out?

To me, that would be suffocating my close for either a sexual or a platonic relationship, but there are people who do everything together — who are incapable of going to the loo separately when out, and for whom the idea of going to the cinema themselves is incomprehensible and weird.

And you only have to read some of the ‘I’m lonely and struggle with friendship’ threads on here to see this is the type of ultra-close ‘best friendship’ some people dream of.

It wouldn’t work for me, and I think I’d wonder what about both people made them so focused on seeing one other person so much, but I certainly don’t think it means they’re shagging.

I knew of a situation like this only it involved two couples. They bought adjoining semis and knocked a door through, so that they could pop in snd out without going outside.
The relationship survived only a few years before the door was bricked up again, the houses went back on the market and at least one of the relationships ended in divorce. I never did hear what happened to the other couple.
It was all much too intense.

Yeh to be fair I did mention that I alternate between thinking theres no way it’s romantic to maybe it is so even I realise that’s a fair leap to make. I think maybe because I’ve seen that happen in another circumstance I’m paranoid.

Shocked at the amount of people getting so angry at me posting this. Personally couldn’t get myself worked up over someone harmlessly speculating online but we’re all different so do carry on

And yes. If it was an affair it could have a spectacularly negative impact on my life - I’m not elaborating so you can either take my world for that or not.

Oh and not my brothers wife by the way! And I have a good relationship with all involved so am not trying to badmouth anyone either.

I think it’s deeply weird that you think they must be in a sexual relationship because they’re inseparable!

Not sexual, romantic. It's different, you can be in a romantic relationship without having sex.
Anyway, whatever type of relationship it is it sounds very intense and inappropriate if they are married.

I know people who have friendships like this, usually they have been friends from a young age, and I don't find it that unusual because they have always included that friend in their life.

I would be more surprised if such a friendship evolved between two people who met as adults, because the older we get the more we keep our distance.

Yes they met as adults! Friends for about 4 years

Btw OP re your DH's comment, lots of men prefer women to be reliant on their husbands rather than having strong support and friendships outside their marriage. If you didn't question this friendship before, try not to let your DH's perception colour it in a negative way.

The two friendships I knew like this were both formed as adults too. One imploded after 3-4 years, one after two years. They now completely blank each other.

I think it's interesting. It would be a very quiet chat forum indeed if people didn't post their random musings.