Would you expect to be told when your ex is introducing your children to their new partner?

[DustandDander]

Few points, he hasn't revealed to me he has a new partner, he's been pretty stealth. They've only been together a month or so as far as I'm aware.

No I wouldn't. I would expect to be told if they were all going away together or the new partner was moving in, but otherwise I don't care

No not really to be honest, nice to know but in reality would be none of my business who he dates and as an equal parent he gets authority over who he introduces his children to.

Yes.

Yes, because our children are my business.

I think it’s the right thing for an ex to tell the other parent as it’s better for the child but in real life it varies from what I’ve seen

It would be nice to of been informed but unfortunately probably not.

Yes of course. It’s common courtesy. It means that the children don’t sense that there’s anything secretive about it.

Well no I never expected anything after he left for a series of OW because he turned out to be morally bankrupt.

I pretty quickly had no expectations of him at all. My now adult DC have none either.

However, I think you should be able to have this pretty reasonable expectation and have it met, yes.

My ex has introduced 2 new girlfriends to ds in the years since we’ve split up. He didn’t tell me and I didn’t tell him when I was introducing my DP to ds and wouldn’t have even thought to tell him. It’s none of his business just like him introducing a new gf isn’t mine. From what ds has said both girlfriends were/are lovely to him and to me that’s the most important thing

He is introducing a new partner to the children after a month! He sounds very needy - if I was the new partner I would be running a mile before I was roped in as a handy babysitter when it’s his time to care for his children.

He should let you know, but to be honest if he is introducing after such a short time I doubt he has the emotional intelligence to realise how this might affect the children.

I really don't care who he's with, the man is abhorrent and I pity them. What I do care about is my children getting into bed with another woman (they always sneak in during the night), them being used as a trophy to make him look good (he is narcissistic), different women coming and going etc. I believe I should be told - Dust I've met someone else and I'll be introducing the dc. Instead he's been as sly as a shit house rat and being overly nice to keep me off the scent.

And yes I think it's way too soon to be introducing the dc. It'd take me months and months and then I'd inform ex p first. This guy has no moral compass.

I agree that less than two months is way too early!

Way too soon and the timing of the introduction should be discussed with the other parent beforehand.

There's very little you can do to influence what he does in his time, if he told you what would you say? No? Doesn't sound like he'd care about your opinion anyway.

I think it's respectful to give you the heads up about it, but he's clearly not respectful so you need to just leave him to it.

I understand your worry about the impact on the kids but you need to focus your attentions on ensuring your time/home is safe and consistent for them so that the impact on what he does is less.

Yes, absolutely.

Yes, even if they are a lovely person. If only to instil certain standards of responses/behaviour and avoid your DC saying things that are inappropriate.

Let's say before you separated your DC had overheard a row about his sexual inadequacies or lack of consideration. You would probably not want them to repeat that to your ex's new partner, however much it would be true.

@newnortherner111

Yes, even if they are a lovely person. If only to instil certain standards of responses/behaviour and avoid your DC saying things that are inappropriate.

Let's say before you separated your DC had overheard a row about his sexual inadequacies or lack of consideration. You would probably not want them to repeat that to your ex's new partner, however much it would be true.

@newnortherner111

Yes, even if they are a lovely person. If only to instil certain standards of responses/behaviour and avoid your DC saying things that are inappropriate.

Let's say before you separated your DC had overheard a row about his sexual inadequacies or lack of consideration. You would probably not want them to repeat that to your ex's new partner, however much it would be true.

Eh?!?! 😲😂