20yo DS1's GF is 17

[Attheheart]

Does it matter?

He obviously thinks it does because he's been telling me for the last 3 months that she's 18.

I've only met her briefly and she seems nice enough. Her parents seem very taken with him and they spend a lot of time at her house, so assuming they know his age presumably they don't take issue with it.

They've been away for the weekend and her parents helped organise it so they don't seem to have any objections.

I found out because I was booking a thing for us all to do together and needed her DOB. DS1 was at work, so I messaged her and she sent it straight back, so I don't think the lie originates with her.

I'm really cross about the lying, but not sure if the actual fact makes a difference?

It wouldn't bother me. 16 still at school with a 19 year would be a bit dodgy, but 17 and 20 is fine, assuming they seem to be equals in the relationship and he's not controlling her in anyway. Maybe he lied because he knew you'd react like this?

It's absolutely fine. It's only three years, which is about right.
I wouldn't have an issue with it at all, whichever way round it was.

He's told you shes 18 so you don't judge him. If she's nice, he's nice and they seem happy, don't worry about it. It's a nice age gap.

16 is the age of sexual consent. So it wouldn't bother me. But what does he do about going to the pub with her? Is she able to get in places?

Not a problem at all. Strange that he felt he had to lie about it though.

This interests me because when I was 16 I dated a 20 year old who, because of when our birthdays fell turned 21 when I was still 16. My parents were fine with it. I have always been fine with it looking back. My teenagers are now horrified to hear of this age gap saying nowadays it would be weird, I was groomed etc. In truth he was a bit dopey, I was much more mature than him, and dating doesn't have to equate to sexually active. If her parents are fine with it then I would be too and don't know why he said she was 18 in the first place though.