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Original poster

Golden wedding gift for parents, for whom the moon on a stick would not be enough?

48 replies

Acunningruse · 23/07/2021 14:44

...and on a limited budget?

It is my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary next month, and I am really struggling with what to buy them. They are very well-off, have a large disposable income and just buy whatever they like, when they like IYSWIM. They live a very quiet life and are best described as 'set in their ways'.

In the past when DH was earning more we have bought generous gifts such as meals in 5* hotel restaurants and they have then complained to us afterwards that they didn't like the food or they were ill afterwards (nothing to do with the vast amount of wine consumed I'm sure!). We (jointly with sibling) also bought them 'experiences' which they would not end up going on as they said they were 'awkward'.

When DCs were younger I bought various personalised gifts from them which have never been seen as their house is a show-home type and everything co-ordinating.

Our budget is now much less than previous years due to DH job change. My parents should realise this, but despite this are fond of reminding me what they did for my maternal grandparent's Golden Wedding Anniversary (I can't disclose, would be outing as I am moaning to everyone I know IRL about this, but suffice to say it was a very grand expensive trip which was probably £500 in today's money).

Despite me moaning about this, we do otherwise have a close and good relationship, they just don't seem to have any concept of money as it's not a concern for them. I do want to get them something really lovely, but feel weary and annoyed that my Mum in particular is never grateful for anything I have got her.

Any suggestions/advice appreciated! Budget approx £50 (could probably go to £70 but really thats it)

OP posts:
Wowcherarestalkingme · 23/07/2021 14:47

A family photo session?

CMOTDibbler · 23/07/2021 14:50

Do you have access to family photos? You could make them a nice photobook with a photo for every year (or a collage of them where there is more) and a bit of text about that year or the occasion in the photo.
Or just do a linear in time photo series and text. If you can get photos 'then and now' of places they have lived would they like that?
They still might not like it, but its the sort of thing that is done with love and anyone they moan to about it will roll their eyes

WhatsTheTimeMrCat · 23/07/2021 14:51

How about a couple of special rose bushes if they have a garden? Something with a name or colour that would be meaningful to them? Or perhaps some kind of small tree or similar? Like a fig tree or something? I would have thought you could easily get something in budget. (Unless the garden is as manicured as the house?!)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Events & celebrations General shopping Weddings
TeapotCollection · 23/07/2021 14:52

Tickets to a local National Trust place

Was going to say fuck all if they won’t appreciate it but that would have been unhelpful

SausageBee · 23/07/2021 14:52

Can you arrange for one of their original wedding photos to restored with enhanced colour and placed in a nice frame? Is this something they'd appreciate?

OchonAgusOchonOh · 23/07/2021 14:53

I did a memory book for my parents for their 50th. I came across an empty one in TK-Maxx with ideas of what to put in the different sections. I had a quick look on amazon but can't see anything similar.

You could easily do one using a scrapbook. I got everyone (children and grandchildren) to contribute bits so there were things like childhood memories, photos etc. I also printed out a CD sticker with an old photo of the dancehall of their youth and put a couple of 50 year old songs on the CD.

It went down really well.

TheSpottedZebra · 23/07/2021 14:53

Do they want 'things' though?

Maybe they want time with you, or a reminder of memories, or even nothing?
Or a party?

WhatsTheTimeMrCat · 23/07/2021 14:55

If they like garden stuff, would they like one of the RHS garden shows, or vouchers for one? I bought my parents tickets for RHS Chatsworth one Christmas and I think that came in at just under £70 with the booking fees.

NT properties or similar are a good suggestion, Leeds Castle for two would be just under £60, I think (as a random example of somewhere that is not NT or EH).

pinkcattydude · 23/07/2021 14:57

I found a rose that was ‘created’ on the year they were married.

MorganSeventh · 23/07/2021 14:58

Golden Anniversary rose? Something like this?
www.davidaustinroses.co.uk/products/golden-wedding

purplesequins · 23/07/2021 15:03

my parents are very 'keeping up with the jones' type.
we arranged for an add in the newspaper they (and more importantly their friends) read.

Original poster
Acunningruse · 23/07/2021 15:07

Thank you so much for these wonderful suggestions. They are all lovely ideas which 99% of people would love and be grateful for. However...

@Wowcherarestalkingme my mum has put a lot of weight on (haven't we all) in lockdown so is feeling self-concious about having photos taken, I wish I could persuade her as we have hardly any photos tohgeter

@CMOTDibbler @OchonAgusOchonOh i would love this if someone did it for me. I did something very similar for their Ruby Wedding and the response was... muted Hmm Though this time they are having a party so it has made me think about getting a guestbook.

@WhatsTheTimeMrCat @pinkcattydude this was my one idea!!! Theres a golden wedding rose you can get but their bastard- neighbour has already bought them it! (guft given early as they are going on holiday). But oh yes they are just as precious about the garden, my brother bought them a garden clock for Christmas and it's been stuck on the wall in an enclosed space which directly faces another wall Grin

@TeapotCollection due to weight gain and general lockdown inactivity, they are struggling to walk anywhere at the moment, they are out of breath simply pottering in the garden and we have offered previously to lend (shh!) them our NT membership and they've never taken us up on it.

@TheSpottedZebra they are having a party so going to get a guestbook

@SausageBee I really love this suggestion, I just need to work out how to get an old photo

OP posts:
Babdoc · 23/07/2021 15:10

I second (or third!) the rose suggestion. For my PIL’s golden wedding I got them three rose bushes, called “Golden Wedding”, “Golden Anniversary” and Golden… something else, which I can’t now recall (!).
They loved them, and planted them outside their window, where they flowered for years until the PILs died and the house was sold.

Babdoc · 23/07/2021 15:11

Sorry, cross posted - didn’t see the neighbours beat you to it!

purplesequins · 23/07/2021 15:14

an aunt was given a painting of her favourite flower for her 50s birthday.

a large canvas was put up with a grid in pencil. a piece of a puzzle of the same grid of the flower was given to each guest to complete during the party. acrylic paint and brushes were supplied.

SoddingWeddings · 23/07/2021 15:19

Don't bother. Nice bottle of champagne, a note saying times have changed and you're sure they understand.

If they aren't happy with anything, don't try too hard.

Original poster
Acunningruse · 23/07/2021 15:22

@purplesequins I LOVE THIS IDEA! off to do it right now, thanks

OP posts:
HumphreyCobblers · 23/07/2021 15:23

I don’t think you ARE going to be able to actually please them - so just buy an appropriate present in your budget and try to ignore the carping.

quizqueen · 23/07/2021 15:24

A metal weather vane in the shape of something they like...cat/boat/vintage car etc.

MorganSeventh · 23/07/2021 15:27

Yes, I agree if they are not going to be happy with anything, it's not worth too much effort. Champagne, bunch of yellow roses and guest book would take you to £50 without having to expend too much headspace

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 23/07/2021 15:28

Damn the neighbour.

Newspaper/music gift set from the year they married.
Champagne and chocs.
Another rose.
Take them for a meal.
Vouchers for John Lewis.

They sound fussy and rude about gifts, so I don't think I'd put my heart and soul into finding something. They won't like it whatever it is.

Gerwurtztraminer · 23/07/2021 15:35

Agree with @SoddingWeddings if they are ungrateful and fussy, don't put yourself out.

The wedding photo touched up in a nice frame is a good idea, or perhaps one from early married years/when you & brother were young - if you know one your mother likes.

How about something personalised from Not On the High Street or similar. Loads of options e.g wine glasses/cushions/print with names and date of their wedding in gold lettering. Will probably end up in the back of a cupboard but at least not too expensive.

Or a bottle of alcohol they both like - sherry/port/whiskey/dessert wine. You could buy something decent or just different for £50ish.

DonLewis · 23/07/2021 15:37

A David Austin standard rose.

Or sponsor a goat in Africa?

waltzingparrot · 23/07/2021 15:42

Bird bath

Don't all old people like to have a cuppa in the garden and watch the birds frolicking.

www.gardening-naturally.com/shenstone-theatre-bird-bath?msclkid=d82bb2591b4a1fe95a45d2a3cf369c71

sparklingbrooke · 23/07/2021 15:44

I've never bought my parents, who sound very similar to yours, an anniversary present and they've been married since the 60's so over 50 years.

They just buy each other various gifts throughout the years from simple ones to lovely extravagant ones.

I've at times suggested gifts to my DDad to buy my DM so based on that he had a beautiful gold ring made for her inset with sapphires and diamonds so that must been their 50th. So I have sort of contributed over the years.