I’m so worried about my mum. She looks terrible.

[ThisUpsetsMe]

My mum has never been stylish, but has always been clean and tidy and presentable.

For the past few years (I started to notice this pre Covid) she’s really struggled to look after herself.

She is still clean but (I’m aware I sound like such a bitch :( ) she looks an absolute mess. She came by today and I could nearly have cried looking at her. Her hair is wild, her clothes are obviously old, worn and completely odd. She had on my old combat trousers, a lace blouse and a pair of my brother’s old trainers.

She keeps saying ‘I look such a mess!’ ‘I need to get tidied up!’ so she does know, but she just can’t seem to buy new things. I have taken her shopping, bought her things, set up online shopping accounts, and she’s only getting worse.

I know I sound like such a cow but I’m ashamed of the way she looks. I’ve asked if she’s ok, but she laughs off the idea of anything being wrong health wise, and she ‘doesn’t believe in all this mental health rubbish’.

What can I do?!!

@ThisUpsetsMe

I would love to take her to my hairdresser. She goes quite regularly but won’t change as her hairdresser has been doing her hair since she was 20.

She’s never slept well and her diet is atrocious, but her skin is actually very good.

I think her hair is the last of your worries.

Approach the basics first - sleep and nutrition.

Deficiency in either/both of these will have a significant negative impact on her energy and ability to function.

It's possible that when she says "I look a mess", she isn't expressing her unhappiness, but acknowledging yours. If she seems depressed generally, then that's another matter, but if not then she is probably fine.