Hello,
Sorry if this isn't in the right section.
Everytime I have an conversation or interaction with anyone (aside from my DC, DH or immediate family) I always replay the interaction in my head and worry that I sounded weird or want to repeat the interaction so I can do it better so the person won't think I'm weird or a fool. I'm constantly paranoid that I came across as odd and want to kick myself hard and torture myself with "why the hell did you say that for?" Or "they will think you're a right weirdo now for saying or doing that".
I am on the autistic spectrum and have low self esteem as well as anxiety so I am constantly worried about coming across as odd anyway (I don't mean that all autistic people are odd, it's how I feel personally about myself).
I had an emotionally abusive parent when I was a child (not severely emotionally abused, it was subtle and underlying but still there if you see what I mean). I think that this has tainted my view of myself.
I've just had an online meeting with a French acquaintance as I'm helping her with some English grammar and we also had a chat. Now I'm ruminating like mad and annoyed with myself for talking too much. She said it was helpful and she found the session useful but I still feel really silly.
Can anyone relate ?