What is this obsession by the Mumsnet police?

[TwwSunset]

I often find it amusing how many posters will do all they can to ‘expose’ a poster if they’ve posted more than once and NC. Why is this? The remarks are often catty, ‘are you going to keep posting,’ ‘are you the poster from this link...’, etc etc.

I never understand it. Why post or comment if this post isn’t of interest to you? Why not just hide it?

I’ve seen similar threads before and thought it must be the same poster but I’ve either provided what I hoped to be a supportive post or simply hid the thread if it irritated me!

[MilkTwoSugarsThanks]

@DancesWithTortoises

It's a bit mean girls in the playground, isn't it?

I don't think calling someone out on bullshit is "mean girls" tbh.

@TwwSunset it tends to be a 50/50 split of kindness and utter exasperation when people are posting the same shit over and over.

[LadyCatStark]

I’ve only seen this done when the poster has been posting the same things over and over again and probably needs telling to stop for her own good, such as the one at the moment who keeps on posting about her awful boyfriend and the only advice that anyone could possible give is to get rid of him. I think people like this aren’t really aware that they’re going on and on but not actually listening to advice and are probably doing the same to their RL friends.

[LadyCatStark]

Yes @MilkTwoSugarsThanks that’s it, exasperation.

[AlternativePerspective]

but why does anyone care?! I can imagine feeling mildly annoyed if I had posted something supportive on one thread, only to find it may not have been the real circumstances on the next thread. But it would be a spilt second thought/feeling of annoyance. I’m aware that anyone can post what they want so it’s up to me if I want to contribute anything. I really can’t get my head around posters getting up in arms about someone posting repeatedly about something, just hide thread and get on with your day, surely because often the threads are emotive and lead other posters to share personal details of their own lives which they might otherwise not have.

Let’s say for instance that a poster shares a situation re child bereavement, (I’m using the most extreme example here but to illustrate,) She posts about her sadness and how she can’t come to terms with it etc, and it leads many other posters to share their own stories of child bereavement, stories they don’t really want to publicise but do out of empathy for the OP. Some will even PM her to offer support. And then someone does a username search and it transpires that the same poster posted 2 days ago saying that she was currently on holiday with the kids and they were having a wonderful time. Or that she doesn’t have kids and never wants them. The inconsistencies are so striking as to mean that something is made up, and if others are sharing deeply stressful and triggering situations for them then it’s not ok for that poster to be taking the piss and it’s perfectly ok to challenge them.

[AlternativePerspective]

@ LadyCatStark or the one who posts about her children no longer wanting to live with her, blaming her ex but then elsewhere posting that she’s sooo excited to buy her wedding dress and in a parolelle thread talking about how she wants to bin off the fiancé because he has ED. But she’s been posting for about 5 years now and always has the same advice, and her threads are pretty much all always deleted.

[Tracklements]

I'm tempted to say... No, no, I'd better not

[Teaandjam]

It’s because they think MN is a local forum for local people.

[user16395699]

It's not as black and white as you make out.

Also not really sold on how the posters on this thread making nasty personal remarks about users doing things they don't like have the moral high ground.

Fyi, op, there are users here who are disabled and therefore, no, aren't able to have much of a life and do spend lots of time on here to feel less alone. Hence recognising the repeat posters/trolls others have explained to you about, having time to post, caring about sincere posters being led down the garden path by time wasters.

So I hope your nasty comments about those people have made you feel proud. You're doing the very thing you complain about.

[TwwSunset]

@user16395699

It's not as black and white as you make out.

Also not really sold on how the posters on this thread making nasty personal remarks about users doing things they don't like have the moral high ground.

Fyi, op, there are users here who are disabled and therefore, no, aren't able to have much of a life and do spend lots of time on here to feel less alone. Hence recognising the repeat posters/trolls others have explained to you about, having time to post, caring about sincere posters being led down the garden path by time wasters.

So I hope your nasty comments about those people have made you feel proud. You're doing the very thing you complain about.

@user16395699 simply having time to post isn’t an excuse to be nasty to a poster or make them feel exposed.

I haven’t said anything nasty about anyone spending lots of time on Mumsnet.,

[IcedSpice]

@AlternativePerspective

If name changing wasn’t so easy MN wouldn’t have nearly the amount of trolls they do.

But there are posters who will name change and post word for word what they’ve posted previously, except they’ll omit some crucial detail which would change the opinion of those giving advice. If you’ve read the same post 10 times under 10 different names then you probably don’t even need to search to find the discrepancy.

Also there are posters who post different threads with different details. So e.g. there was a poster earlier this week who posted something, I genuinely can’t remember what it was, but she made reference to having a 1 year old and a 3 year old. For whatever reason someone had looked at previous posts and it turned out she’d posted previously (within the past 2 weeks) asking for advice weaning her 6 month old, and another post saying she was pregnant with twins.

It makes the post you’re posting completely irrelevant if the person is clearly just posting a load of made up crap in the meantime… (thread was deleted fwiw).

If name changing wasn’t so easy MN wouldn’t have nearly the amount of trolls they do.

oh they so would, they would make new accounts

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

I’ve never understood why people feel they need to assure everyone of their posting credentials/that they’re a “long term poster” but have changed their user name for this post, and then start quoting what I can only presume are in jokes from ancient threads “penis beaker etc”
Get a life as if anyone is interested how long you have been on mumsnet and whether you remember a thread about a penis beaker (whatever that is)

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

If name changing wasn’t so easy MN wouldn’t have nearly the amount of trolls they do

Quite

[NobdieTheNob]

@Viviennemary

Its the one thing that annoys me most about MN. Constant name changing. Hardly any names recognisable now. Nice to see one or two familiar ones.

Where are bupcakesandcunting and icod when you need them?

[LolaSmiles]

I appreciate it when people take the time to give us all the heads up that a poster has posted 76 threads on the same topic/situation. There doesn't need to be any policing, but it's helpful when scrolling to not waste time or energy on it.

[Lemonmelonsun]

Agree op it's tiresome

[Batsy]

"Where are bupcakesandcunting and icod when you need them?"

permenantly banned far as i know.

[Workinghardeveryday]

I don’t even know how to name change?! 😬

[pastafeend]

I actually asked someone earlier if they were the same person who had posted before. It wasn't for any bad reason; I just felt it would be a bit of a waste of my time to put any effort into responding to the same person. I didn't realise this was frowned upon tbh.

[Lemonmelonsun]

Mn has been a massive source of support to me and for every troll there is a someone like me who has had lots of trauma and little rl support.
It's been a tremendous source of therapy and I couldn't have accessed it using direct detail's or not name changing and sometimes the mac Beth witches seem to rise up and hog threads and sometimes the most kind, wise insightful people say those few words that resonate and help you see your problems in a different way.

[Lemonmelonsun]

And it's usefully the scourges who leap to every thread sniffing around who are the least helpful and say "op everyone is saying blah but your saying blah your not listening to us".

[aiwblam]

I once blurred a couple of minor, irrelevant details to avoid identifying myself IRL and a minority of posters just wanted to pick at me for this, presumably trying to prove I was a fraud or a liar, whilst completely ignoring what I posted about.

I see posts almost every day where you can see that the intent is to make the OP feel small or shit. A lot of it is disguised as “reasonable” questions/remarks but the undertones are very clear.

[DancesWithTortoises]

@aiwblam

I once blurred a couple of minor, irrelevant details to avoid identifying myself IRL and a minority of posters just wanted to pick at me for this, presumably trying to prove I was a fraud or a liar, whilst completely ignoring what I posted about.

I see posts almost every day where you can see that the intent is to make the OP feel small or shit. A lot of it is disguised as “reasonable” questions/remarks but the undertones are very clear.

There are some deeply unpleasant and rather disturbed posters on MN.

[PhilippaBlake]

@Schrutesbeets

Also can't stand the people who have name changed but prove they're long term posters by quoting MN classics... Cringe!

Haha - I think I'd figured out this 'secret code' to proving I was a long term member within about a day of signing up here - any reasonably canny lurker could do this! This as 'proof' always makes me smile.

[Generalpost]

I have experienced this myself its awful I have to name change over abd over again now to try and stop people following me. People often see things in black and white. " the person did not take advice " there is often a reason they can't or things are not as simple as the posters think. I have had posters do things where it could have effected me in my real life . Lucky nothing more come of it other than a phone call. But some People on MN must really out themselves to try and 'catch ' posters out . There's no real reason posters need to do it. Just ignore abd move on it report. If you think the poster is not genuine.

[Generalpost]

@Generalpost

I have experienced this myself its awful I have to name change over abd over again now to try and stop people following me. People often see things in black and white. " the person did not take advice " there is often a reason they can't or things are not as simple as the posters think. I have had posters do things where it could have effected me in my real life . Lucky nothing more come of it other than a phone call. But some People on MN must really out themselves to try and 'catch ' posters out . There's no real reason posters need to do it. Just ignore abd move on it report. If you think the poster is not genuine.

(Put ) themselves out.