Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Missing him

7 replies

Beachtrip · 22/07/2021 09:09

And don't know why!

Broke up with him a couple months back after he covered me with bruises and was an asshole.
The crux of it is, that the argument started because I didn't want to introduce him to my kids. I knew it was never gonna go the distance, but I was fine with it being what it was. He did not take that well.
He was awful when it ended, the physical aside, he was just nasty. And he's blocked across all platforms. No contact, haven't received anything or made any attempts to contact him.

But I am really struggling with that right now. I feel this desperate urge to reach out. I miss him. He consumes all my thoughts, I want to tell him about every little thing. I see so many things that remind me of him, things I would normally share with him. And I've tried sharing these things with others but it doesn't work. It doesn't reduce this longing.

I really want to let go. Why is this so strong right now?
I felt I was doing well, I have therapy, focus on myself and kids and friends etc then this appears!!!

OP posts:
DinosaurDiana · 22/07/2021 09:12

Because he is still controlling you.
You need to work on being happy on your own, a relationship should be a bonus, not a need.

Beachtrip · 22/07/2021 09:16

That's it. I thought I was doing ok.
I'm so frustrated that he's in my head right now.

OP posts:
irritableshark · 22/07/2021 09:28

You've done really well. It's very hard. There was a reason you were together in the first place. You loved him and had a connection with him, just because he's a violent abusive bastard, it doesn't make the feelings you had for him less valid. They will fade over time. I've been where you are, if it helps to know. Stay strong and try and keep busy and distracted. ❤️

Dillydollydingdong · 22/07/2021 09:29

Grit your teeth and be strong, and be patient. All things shall pass.

Beachtrip · 22/07/2021 10:01

Is it going to come and go like this?
I wonder if it's strong right now as it was around this time last year that I met him.

I think I'm confused too, because I wanted him in my life but not all in. There is no way I would have him around my children. I can't say why. He has kids of his own. But my gut said no to incorporating him into my home life. So the decision to end it was totally the correct thing to do, even before he turned into a abusive dick.

OP posts:
irritableshark · 22/07/2021 10:53

Yes it will come and go. At times you will feel less angry and it will come. Other times you will feel lonely or low and it will come. You may feel happy and it will still come as you remember times when you felt like that with him. You may see friends in relationships and pine for what they have and miss him. It's all natural and normal. You have had the strength to get this far and you will stay strong.

Beachtrip · 22/07/2021 11:12

Thank you.
It helps just to put this out there.
Share this confusion and thoughts.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page