Would you work with your dh?

Lochnessgiraffe · 2021-07-21T09:51:50+00:00

I'm looking for a new job and there are 2 positions at my dh's work. Not saying that I would get them but it's made me wonder if I could work with /along side my dh If you do can you tell me the good and bad about it?

BigMamaFratelli · 21/07/2021 11:05

I work with dp, but we met at work. I love that he gets it when I have a moan about my day. We still aren't back in the office but when we were we used to take turns to make each other lunch (we still do this at home obviously). It's also nice being able to nip out for a walk together or go for after work drinks.

Bad points were everyone assuming I was responsible for him, so I'd get questioned if he was late or missed a meeting etc. His manager also used to chase me for his time sheets!

NothingIsWrong · 21/07/2021 11:09

Absolutely not. We work in the same field, and he owns his own business doing consultancy. I have made the decision to stay client side as I would either have to work for him or in direct competition with. Luckily the client side roles are usually public sector and suit me very well so it hasn't cause to much issue or limited my career at all

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 21/07/2021 11:11

Same company/organisation - yes. In a position where id have to work closely with him day to day - no.

Original poster

Lochnessgiraffe · 21/07/2021 11:28

I don't think I would have to work with him on a daily basis. It would depend on the project. Maybe wouldn't work with him at all. We do different jobs.
Interesting to hear everyone's thoughts

OP posts:

GreyhoundG1rl · 21/07/2021 11:30

I did. That's where we met.

LBOCS2 · 21/07/2021 11:31

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

Same company/organisation - yes. In a position where id have to work closely with him day to day - no.

This. DH and I did work together for about three years and may well end up working at the same company again - it's a small industry, we met through work friends. The worst thing about it was having to share my commute with him tbh - I didn't get the silent time I need to decompress on my way home as he is exceptionally and annoyingly chatty after work 😁

VodselForDinner · 21/07/2021 11:32

I wouldn’t from a security point of view. I know loads of couples who work together and it can take only one round of redundancies to see them both becoming unemployed.

wizzywig · 21/07/2021 11:33

I did, I loved it. We didn't spend time together at work. He treated me as any other employer (he was senior to me). Good to have a hot boss that I get to get my hands on

FizzyPink · 21/07/2021 11:40

Absolutely not. DP and I started running my small business together. There’s lots of reasons why it’s now solely mine.
We’re very different people. I’m efficient so get lots done in a short space of time. DP is the type to look at one slide of a presentation for two weeks until it is absolutely perfect. It drove me insane waiting for him to do things.
The other thing was that he has zero vision. So always disagreed with me on how our products should look. We’d then test both options and every single time he would then admit I had been right.

It was honestly starting to ruin our relationship as every conversation turned into a disagreement. We both much happier with me now running it myself.

Xiaoxiong · 21/07/2021 11:52

I would do it alongside in a large enough organisation where we could do our own thing and where there wasn't a risk of both of us being made redundant at the same time. eg. the NHS

I would never, ever give up work to be a partner in a business with DH unless I legally owned 50% of the shares and was paid a salary, pension, etc out of the business. I have seen SO MANY threads on here over the years where a wife has been "helping" her husband with "his" business for years, in fact working full time for no pay and doing all the donkey work. Then when he fucks off she is left with no pension or ownership of the business whatsoever, years out of the workforce and nothing to put on a CV to get another job.

name6785 · 21/07/2021 11:54

Wouldn't happen due to our jobs, but can't think of a reason as to why I wouldn't. It would be odd but never been the type to get fed up of him etc so wouldn't struggle with seeing him more, that would be nice!

Teapotsandtablecloths · 21/07/2021 11:55

I do, we work for the same for the organisation and do the same job, but we only "interact" in teams chats as we both do an additional role the same. Since covid we've been working from home so sit on opposite levels of the house. One downside? Our organisation made people redundant recently and we were both facing the chop at the same time. Thankfully we both kept our jobs

Purplewithred · 21/07/2021 11:56

I volunteer for the organisation my husband works at. We've tried working together but have given up - apparently I'm not respectful enough (I don't deny this, knowing full well that his sh*£ smells like anyone else's despite the hero status he and his ilk have at work); also he struggles not to worry about me if we're in a slightly dodgy situation.

Monkeytennis97 · 21/07/2021 12:02

I do. Have done for 15 plus years on and off. It's great :)

Jumpingintosummer · 21/07/2021 12:03

I don’t but two friends do. One couple love it and can’t see that changing… other couple are lucky to still be married.

Nuggetnugget · 21/07/2021 12:05

No but he would be fine to work with but I love a chat after work. Hearing his stories and him listening to mine.
I think it would be too close.

isettled · 21/07/2021 12:06

DH and I work for the same organisation but very different roles. On more than one occasion there has been suggestions he moves to my area and we have both agreed this is not a good idea. Thankfully now we're both in specialised roles so it's less likely to be suggested and now he'd be my boss so we'd argue it even more strongly.

I used to work with a couple who lived together (obviously) travelled to work together, worked on the same team, took breaks together and had all days off together. That would be suffocating for me but it worked for them.

Oldraver · 21/07/2021 12:09

I've worked at the same employer as my IH but at a different site, he did have to come to my place a couple of times so only saw him at work about four times in a few months

To be honest I'm not sure I would go back, but that's because it was a gossipy factory and I don't want to have to deal with that

saraclara · 21/07/2021 12:11

My husband and I met at work. Once we married, we both looked for new jobs, as we didn't consider it a good idea to work at the same place. It's awkward for colleagues, in my experience of other couples working at the same place.

There was a thread on here recently where a woman who is her partners boss, was moaning about him being at home sick and letting her down at work. She absolutely couldn't get her head around her not being his boss at home.

HollowTalk · 21/07/2021 12:14

@Xiaoxiong

I would do it alongside in a large enough organisation where we could do our own thing and where there wasn't a risk of both of us being made redundant at the same time. eg. the NHS

I would never, ever give up work to be a partner in a business with DH unless I legally owned 50% of the shares and was paid a salary, pension, etc out of the business. I have seen SO MANY threads on here over the years where a wife has been "helping" her husband with "his" business for years, in fact working full time for no pay and doing all the donkey work. Then when he fucks off she is left with no pension or ownership of the business whatsoever, years out of the workforce and nothing to put on a CV to get another job.

Or worse, when she does all that and she's not even married to him!

SirenSays · 21/07/2021 12:17

Yep, I have before and it was really nice! We didn't work in each others pockets as we were doing different roles.
We'd often get coffees on the way in and go out for lovely lunches together. It made the commute home wonderful as we would often spontaneously decide to do something fun after work.

Original poster

Lochnessgiraffe · 21/07/2021 12:37

Some for and some against then. I think also it would be the colleagues too what happens if I think someone is nice that he thinks is an idiot and vice versa.

OP posts:

StepladderToHeaven · 21/07/2021 12:40

DH and I met at work and carried on working at the same company for 3.5 years after we got together. It was fine. We didn't usually work on the same projects though. Also I think it helps that we were both quite young at the time - I think it can be trickier if one or both of you are senior within the company.

TeenMinusTests · 21/07/2021 12:45

DH and I met at work. Our paths crossed and we were occasionally in meetings together, but not everyday interaction. We kept things professional when on site (e.g. no holding hands). It was fine.

There were quite a lot of couples at work. A lot of the (few) females who joined single ended up with work colleagues. Not an issue.

mindutopia · 21/07/2021 12:49

No, I definitely wouldn't. Thankfully, dh and I do very different things in completely different fields. He is a company director so technically I could work for him (though he wouldn't be able to afford me!). But no, I love him and we have a happy marriage, but we both enjoy our space from each other and having our independent professional circles.