Is it ever OK to raise weight or diet with a teenage daughter?
My 15 year old has put on a lot of weight this year. She was always skinny but now has a noticeable wobbly tummy and is reasonable bulky everywhere but probably not passing a threshold of overweight. More heavy than fat and a significant change for her.
On the one hand she doesn’t seem set conscious and insists on wearing short tops that show her tummy all the time even though it’s not toned. On the other hand she has low self esteem in other areas and is seeing a counsellor for anxiety and the counsellor tells me they often talk about body issues. She has never said to me that she isn’t happy with her body, she has never mentioned wanting to lose weight or diet or tone her tummy.
I often find chocolate wrappers in her bedroom and in her laundry. I think she secretly binge eats as we have no chocolate at home. Today the dentist gave her two fillings which adds to my suspicion that she does binge eat. Her diet at home is healthy with occasional puddings but not many and all homemade. She eats normal amounts in front of us, never asks for seconds and runs 5k several times a week of her own choice. The weight can only really be explained if she is secretly eating quite a lot.
So do I ask her if she’s binge eating? Do I tell her I think she is because her body shape has changed and she needed fillings? Do I try and help her stop? Or do I leave it even though I think it’s unhealthy and not doing her self esteem any good. Plus once you gain weight it’s so hard to lose compared to if you keep it off.
Be gentle. I am not some fat shamer, I just genuinely don’t know how to parent in this situation. Girls and weight is a mine field. In any other area of or eating I would just talk through bad choices and try and help her make better choices.