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Original poster

I feel such a bad mummy to my 3yr old.

36 replies

Mammy1987 · 19/07/2021 22:14

Hello Everyone just wanted some advice.

I love being a mother but it's such hard work. I have a 3year old and 6 month old. I feel I go around in a vicious circle of being a good mother then a bad mother :-( when im a bad mother(shouting like a mad woman, dragging 3yr old to do something as so annoyed with her) to which I end up riddled with guilt then makes me feel depressed as I know I've upset her and worry it will damage her in the long run.

I try so so hard everyday but usually once a week I irrupt and my patience goes up in smoke. I struggle with my own mental health as it is then trying to constantly be the best mother is draining. I have to get out everyday as we go loopy and get bored if we stay in then the housework doesn't get done. Sometimes I wonder if being a parent was the right choice for me Sad

Please help! Sad

OP posts:
gamerchick · 20/07/2021 08:29

@Frazzledd

You also don't need to play play play all the time, it does them good to play alone to develop an imagination. Or you end up with an older kid who simply can't entertain themselves.

I get that, but how can you teach a 3 year old to play alone? Especially when you have a younger sibling? She's trying to teach my 2 year old yoga atm but my two year old wants to sit on mummy's lap and read a book!? I can't pick a side when they're both doing lovely things, they're just not wanting to do the same things at the same time right now- ???

Mummy is doing housework or some other task. They get told that play will happen after X.

I know being available at all times and all that stuff is the done thing these days, but it does them no favours later on. I see so many kids with no imagination and the need to be entertained by someone else.

Original poster
Mammy1987 · 20/07/2021 08:32

@Frazzledd I totally agree. I bet you go there today and have a fab timeSmile

OP posts:
Original poster
Mammy1987 · 20/07/2021 08:36

@pointythings my 3 year old visits her grandads on a tue and thur every week and does start nursery in Sept 3 full day a week which will do her great. I just always feel on the days I only have my 6 month old that I have to still run around like a headless chicken getting housework done as its the only free days I have. My partner told me to do nothing today and chill as he can see how stressed I am(even tho he hardly does fek all) but it's hard as there's stuff needs done.

OP posts:

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Frazzledd · 20/07/2021 08:38

@gamerchick they have imaginations, especially my eldest who's constantly putting different voices on her fairies interactions, dancing, dress up etc. She's brilliant that way, she very confident
and just wants to be the centre of attention, which is why it's so difficult to encourage her to spend some alone play time.

Mummy is doing housework or some other task. They get told that play will happen after X

It's how I get her to say 'okay' to that that's the problem Confused

Frazzledd · 20/07/2021 08:59

@Mammy1987 Your doing amazingly well in my eyes, the fact that you get your LO to bed for 6 and settled!? Your well ahead of me!

I find it helpful when I hear that it'll get easier, plus having two close in age will be lovely for them when they reach the stage that they're both on the same page- it's just getting through the 'right now' that's hard!

I'm also one that finds it impossible to leave the housework, add cooking, baths, play times, teaching, out of the house play, activities....its headspinning!

Your doing great!

Original poster
Mammy1987 · 20/07/2021 09:16

@Frazzledd thank youSmile

OP posts:
TOWGA · 20/07/2021 09:36

@Mammy1987 this is me currently I have a 3 year old and a 5 week old, it's tough! Also 3 year old has decided now is potty training week, I honestly feel like I'm trying to spilt myself in half, and also shout quite a lot at my 3 year old and feel guilty!

Original poster
Mammy1987 · 20/07/2021 09:56

@TOWGA your not alone which is reassuring. Potty training is hard and as we know can only be done at the child's pace to get a positive outcome. You know the weird thing tho I've found having 2 easier than oneConfusedI think it's just an age thing and will pass x

OP posts:
BlackeyedSusan · 20/07/2021 11:59

If your three year old is annoying tickle them or blow raspberries on them (depending on their preferences) diffuses tension. Still works on autistic teens.

Snorkello · 20/07/2021 13:42

@BlackeyedSusan you are so right. This always works a treat! Turn everything into a game, with laughter and tickles!

It distracts me too as a mum. Really good tip

orchidsonabudget · 20/07/2021 13:47

You sound lovely op
I would say don't try and be the best mummy ever. Try and be the best mummy for today and recognise that there may be factors which make perfection difficult: you have a headache/ dd is pushing boundaries/ it's bloody hot like today.
Also remember that no really bad mums worry about being bad mums

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