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Original poster

Please help me choose childcare!

37 replies

OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 09:15

We have 2 options really and we cant decide. Neither are perfect.

Context- 2 children, will be 11 months and just 3. 3 full days (7.30-5.30) a week.

Option one
A 'micro nursery' for baby, it's in a house with a childminder but she has a couple of staff. Toddler would go with her and then at 9 he would be driven to a preschool and stay there til pick up.

Pros - baby isnt being moved around, we can keep to a routine and she would nap in a cot. They have LOADS of outdoor space. Oustanding ofsted. Nice family feel as run by husband and wife. No separation between baby and toddlers so everyone integrates. Small - dont think there are ever more than 8 kids. Cheaper option financially and much easier. Toddler already there and happy.

Cons - they dont go out at all, only for walks in fields. I would prefer baby to just have one person to bond with. Worry that 9 til 5.30 is a long time in a preschool for toddler. Preschool is new so don't know reputation (owned by the childminder). Weve had some issues with toddler not having his nappy changed when we have picked him up.

Option 2
Nanny. She would drop toddler off to amazing preschool at 9 and pick him up at 3.

Pros - toddler gets great preschool and isnt there all day. Baby gets one to one and will be taken out for trips etc

Cons - it will mean baby has a lot of on the go naps which I dont love because I dont find they sleep as well. In theory they would have lots of freedom but if baby still has a morning and afternoon nap then really there isnt a huge amount of time between 9 and 3 to do that. Much more expensive option. Never done a nanny contract before (though DH is a lawyer,.I'm.sure we could figure it out).

I like both the CM and the nanny.

Which would you do?

OP posts:
mindutopia · 19/07/2021 09:27

Definitely option 1. I think socialisation is so important for them, much more so than one on one time. Presumably your baby wouldn't go to a group setting until 3, same as your older one. That's a long time of just being with a nanny and not other kids. Seeing other kids at groups or the playground is not the same as building relationships and learning social skills in a communal setting.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 09:29

Thanks, that's helpful. Toddler went to a childminder and he had 2 others and is ridiculously social, but they did go to a singing group and a gymnastics class every week

OP posts:
PeonyTime · 19/07/2021 09:34

Can the micro nursery take to your preferred pre school? Or is it a fixed preschool they use?

I still think I'd go for option 1, and use the saved money to pay for a cleaner and online regular delivery, and use the weekends to do other stuff as a family, and find a class or similar to do on the 2 days a week you are off.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Childcare & nursery Children's sleep Families
Enko · 19/07/2021 09:38

I would go for the nanny as she can still be there if kids are sick and much more one on one care.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 09:38

No sadly not. They own the preschool.

That's a good way of looking at it. I've booked swimming lessons for DS for Sept but that still leaves us with 1.5 days and the weekend

OP posts:
EssentialHummus · 19/07/2021 09:44

Option 1 by a long chalk. Less chance of being affected by one person's illness (ie if nanny is off sick), good socialisation for both, solid nap options for baby, cheaper.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 10:01

Thia is v useful, thanks!

OP posts:
CormoranStrike · 19/07/2021 10:05

Option one all the way - then if you don’t like it or they don’t settle look for a nanny.

But with a nanny there is a single point of failure. A nursery has staff, so can go with the flow more

Cookofcastamar · 19/07/2021 10:20

I have been in a similar situation with kids similar ages to yours and we chose option 2 especially if preschool is 9-3. Nanny can get two naps out of the way before collecting eldest. Also eldest will be socialising in preschool anyway and playing with sibling before and after preschool.
They can relax at home no packing bags in the morning or rushing to pick up in the evening. My two are 8 and 5 and we switched to a childminder when eldest started school. We've just had baby number 3 and are considering the nanny option again when I go back to work.

WhoDidAndWhy · 19/07/2021 10:28

Nanny.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 10:33

Ok now my head hurts Grin

OP posts:
Orangeinmybluelightcup · 19/07/2021 10:36

Might it depend on whether you can find a good nanny!
You already know you've got a good childminder.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 10:38

Oh we have interviewed a lady we r happy with.

It's just I'm struggling to see what she could actually do with the baby once drop off is done unless all her naps are on the go which I really dont want.

But I love the idea of one on one care and DS coming home after preschool and relaxing.

I'm finding it really hard.

OP posts:
Cookofcastamar · 19/07/2021 11:03

She could make meals for the kids, can she tidy their rooms, tidy up the kitchen and take baby out for walks, zoo etc. Can you tell I love nannies 😁 when you find a great one their bond with the he kids is amazing. What is your gut telling you?

Babynames2 · 19/07/2021 11:34

Nanny definitely. The 11 month old will likely be changing nap patterns again in a few months and be down to one nap a day, so naps won’t really be an issue then (nanny could stay home 11-1 for instance) and can still do baby groups, visits to the park, visits to the library etc to fill the rest of the time.

Far better for a child that age to have one-to-one attention, socialisation doesn’t need to be all day. Just an hour day (plus, has an older sibling so it’s not as if they’re not around other children). 2 staff and 8 kids I’d feel was too busy for an 11 month old and they won’t get the same level of attention.

Crowsaregreat · 19/07/2021 11:40

I'm assuming on the other days of the week you or your DP are caring for DC? What kind of things do you like to do with them? You could think of it as the childcare complementing what you do. Eg if you like going out for trips with DC, the nursery not going out much is not a problem.

A nanny also means having DC in the house a lot more - do either of you WFH and is noise disturbance a problem?

I wouldn't let naps swing you that much, they change to one nap soon enough!

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 11:44

I've changed my mind about 5 times this morning already

OP posts:
MissEDashwood19 · 19/07/2021 11:47

I would go with the nanny. Up until the age of two, I think it's a better option. Children under two need more individualised attention and benefit more from a strong bond with their caregiver than lots of stimulation and other children. They can also be cared for in their home environment, which I also think makes a big difference.

My DD (same age as your baby) is cared for by her grandparents two days per week and I don't think she's missing out by not being with other children. DD loves being the centre of attention with her grandparents and doing simple things with them (reading, walking the dog and playing).

Deadringer · 19/07/2021 11:50

Nanny definitely. Babies don't need to socialise with other children. One to one is much more important imo, and she can see other little ones at toddler groups etc.

Bamaluz · 19/07/2021 11:55

I would go with the nanny, mainly for the reason that the childminder doesn't go on outings, which is usually a huge plus and unusual that they don't.
And also as someone had already pointed out a nanny will look after children who are ill too.
Convenience too, no drop offs or pick ups to organise.

20viona · 19/07/2021 12:01

Option 1 for sure

pitterpatterrain · 19/07/2021 12:09

Option 1

QueenOfCatan · 19/07/2021 12:12

I'm not sure why the first option can't go out? My minder (and assistants) has 6-8 EYFS children and is always out and about, they walk everywhere.

I'd go with a good nanny though, socialisation for small children can easily be done at groups and activities.

Original poster
OhToBeASeahorse · 19/07/2021 12:19

They are in the middle of nowhere, it would be miles to get to anywhere.

I think I'm leaning towards the nanny

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 19/07/2021 12:19

If you can comfortably afford it I'd go for the nanny.

  1. Babies don't need the kind of socialisation you get in a nursery. They need one on one care plus meeting a range of new people (not just other babies/toddlers). All research supports this. There is no research showing babies suffer from too much one-on-one care with a good, responsive caregiver.
  1. Anyone who mentions 'socialisation' as a reason not to have a nanny has never had a nanny/doesn't understand how it works. Any good nanny will make sure your child has regular playdates with the same children. It's not just bumping into people in the park!
  1. Nanny will care for them when they're sick.
  1. Nanny will do nursery duties too.
  1. Nanny can take them to dentist/shoe shopping/hairdresser's etc. to save you doing it on the weekend.
  1. Baby will drop to one nap soon enough, allowing nanny to do pre-school drop, trip out with baby, lunch, nap at home, pre-school pick-up with no problem.
  1. You won't have to have them up and out the house in the morning. Nanny can get them dressed/breakfast etc. Much easier generally and much nicer on the cold/dark mornings. Also saves pick-up.
  1. Nannies generally have more flexibility to cover extra hours/days etc. although this will depend on your specific nanny.

In the interests of full disclosure, I am a nanny so biased! I do think the childminder sounds perfectly nice though and if a nanny will be a financial struggle go for the childminder.