Do you congratulate grandparents for a new grandchild?

[Budgetating]

Writing to someone whose grandchild has just been born. Are you supposed to congratulate them? Does it sound a bit weird to say “congratulations on the new arrival” when they’re not the parents?

@cariadlet but in that case do you congratulate the new father as he hasn't really done anything, and if anything his achievement was 9 months prior?

Congratulate them.

We congratulate anything which deserves a celebration in this country. A DGC fits that notion imo.

I direct the congratulations back to the baby's parents. I just say something like 'that's wonderful for you all, pass on my congratulations' (and then send a card to baby's parents if I know them). I have never thought to give the grandparents a card, but seems like I'm in the minority with that, I've never thought to.

As an aside I think its amusing that navel gazing has spiralled to such a manner that we are even discussing whether grandparents are 'worthy' of our congratulations.

Who do we even think we are? Oh and like they give a shiny shite in any case

You know that 'love is not pie' thing? Well the same applies to congratulating grandparents. It doesn't take anything away from the parents. It's an extra. An expansion of happiness. And though I didn't realise it when I was a young parent myself, becoming a grandparent is a huge and lovely thing. Of course I'm happy when something lovely happens to my friends.

Okay, if you want to be pedantically literal, maybe congratulations isn't the perfect word, but really, who cares? Language develops and we doing really have the perfect word for this situation.

I don’t. I congratulate for an achievement or a milestone but only to the actual person.

I therefore only send cards to the parent and the baby in a way “Welcome to the family and I hope everything went well”. I will acknowledge it to the GP if I met them but again more that I am glad that he/she is healthy.

I got a couple of lovely cards when DSS's baby was born, I was really touched. My SIL sent cards and flowers to both me and DIL.

@Fl0w3ry

I direct the congratulations back to the baby's parents. I just say something like 'that's wonderful for you all, pass on my congratulations' (and then send a card to baby's parents if I know them). I have never thought to give the grandparents a card, but seems like I'm in the minority with that, I've never thought to.

I don't think you're in the minority in not sending a card but you are the probably in the minority in not congratulating.

I've never sent a card to a grandparent but I have congratulated either orally or by text/email. The op did say they were writing to the grandparents and wondered should they congratulate them so I assume they were contacting them anyway. In those circumstances it would be really weird not to convey good wishes regarding the baby and congratulations is just a nice, simple word for that.

good wishes regarding the baby and congratulations is just a nice, simple word for that.
Well put.

I was a bit baffled when my grandparents recieved a "you've become a grandparent" card when my cousin was born. Especially as they had already been grandparents to me for 15 years.

Reached that age where a number of my friends are grandparents, I also congratulate them on becoming a grandparent

I was a bit baffled when my grandparents recieved a "you've become a grandparent" card when my cousin was born. Especially as they had already been grandparents to me for 15 years.

But they have become grandparents - again. Your cousin is no less important to them or significant as their grandchild, just because she/he happened to be born 15 years after you.

People often send congratulations at birthdays - especially landmark ones. Even though you're technically praising them for not having died yet, it's just widely understood as a word to convey happiness and feelings of goodwill. Unless you're Cliff Richard, in which case it's a bit weirdy-stalky.

Some on MN can be a bit weird about cards in general. You aren’t allowed to send anniversary cards apparently.
No congratulations allowed!

What's the thing with anniversary cards?

@OchonAgusOchonOh

Yes you do and no it doesn't.

That.

@GreyhoundG1rl

What's the thing with anniversary cards?

Apparently its weird to send anniversary cards. Only the married couple can send each other one and that’s it. Not sure why. I send anniversary cards to my brother and sister etc and my parents.

If I'm speaking to them, I'm likely to say "Aw, how lovely", and then ask them something suitable (boy or girl / name / whatever/ or if a colleague or someone whose family I don't know I might ask if they are local or something to show interest).

I don't send congratulations cards - for me a congratulations card is for when you achieve something (passing a driving test / getting your degree sort of thing). Your dd or your dil having a baby doesn't seem to suggest anything you need congratulating for.

I'm of an age where quite a few of my peers are starting to become grandparents, and I would always acknowledge it and show interest, as I understand it is exciting, just not something they need congratulating on.

So ‘congratulations on becoming a grandparent’ also a no no, interesting.

Oh, right. I don't send any because I never remember anyone's anniversary, not because I thought it was a breach of etiquette.

I just put all dates on the kitchen calendar (old school). But I know most anyway.
It’s our anniversary this week and we’ve had at least 4 cards already.
We must be an anomaly.

You must be. We don't get any from anyone else either 😂
Fair enough, I suppose...

@Sparklingbrook . No-one is saying you "aren't allowed to".

The OP asked if we do.

Just because I (and others) don't, doesn't mean you can't if that's what you want to do.

Obviously lots of people do, as the card shop wouldn't stock them if nobody ever bought them.

@GreyhoundG1rl

There are also Congratulations on your New Sister / Brother cards. Hallmark leave no gap in the market

This is true

When I worked in a card shop I sent my brother a Father's Day card from his cats 😂

That was my argument on the ‘it’s odd to send anniversary cards’ thread @BackforGood.
People must like to send them because they stock them. 🤷‍♀️