Hi
I am really after some advice.
When I met my DH 18 years ago, his parents were not happy. DH was a bit of a mummy's boy, she did everything for him and she saw me as a threat. She was also extremely racist when she realised that although white, I am of Asian heritage. I won't bore you with the comments but it all came to a head one Christmas and DH's dad asked him to choose between them and me. Dh was gutted and just shook their hands and left. We got married and although they sent threatening letters hinting that they may turn up, they didn't and life moved on. I presumed it would all blow over but it got worse at family funerals etc. I was completely ignored by dh's family. His sister took his mum's side.
The MIL seems really cold hearted and had previously said as far as she was concerned her own father was dead to her over a fall out with him and had also really slagged off her own mum who had a stroke telling us at the time how she shits her knickers!! She was a legal secretary and used to steal tons of jewelry from houses after the deceased were removed and completely got away with it. She was into every scam she could get her fingers into.
Anyway skip years ahead, we moved and had children. We send his parents a pic of our DD, but they decided we only sent the pics to get at them. Then 4 year after, DH got diagnosed with cancer...his mum and dad knew about it but never got in touch and his sister confirmed they didn't want to know. DH got to remission and asked his sister to ask his mum for photos of him as a child so he could give to our children...his mum said no! I mean, why? We have no photos of DH growing up for our children to see, why is she punishing them.
She regularly posts on FB about how she is loving life and living the life travelling in Spain and other countries. She posts about donating to various cancer charities and seems to have a big friend base. She often posts about how she loves her grandchildren ( dh's sisters kids). Not once have his parents got in touch.
I tried once to break the ice but MIL blanked me. Now DH has relapsed. Still she posts about her great holidays.
Should I try again for DH sake? I don't think he wants anything to do with them because they are so toxic and she is obviously completely devoid of any maternal instinct whatsoever, and his sister doesn't try to help at all...whether this is money led I don't know but, it's mad. It doesn't seem possible parents could treat their own son like this and his children. His mum wouldn't let him see his dying grandad who she had living at her home unless DH wrote a letter of apology for treating them so bad!! Say what!!!
Then she didn't give DH what his grandad had left him in the will. We let it go, she is so greedy for money., we just couldn't be bothered to chase it. Honestly there have been so many things.I wouldn't care if I never saw them again and I hate them with all my heart BUT I worry for my DH. He has my family that adore him and welcomed from day 1, but that still can't replace his own mum and dad can it?
Should I contact them or not