How do you deal with 'difficult' work colleagues?

[BigButtons]

I need tips.
I work in a school and one colleague has been the bane of my working life. Luckily I don't have to work alongside her much but this week I have had to. She takes over, belittles, criticises, moans, bosses, sneers. She is not senior to me but is older.
I can't stop her but would be interested to know how others emotionally cope with colleagues who pull these kind of stunts.
It has been really getting me down.

when she takes over remind her she is not in charge, when she belittles say ok then you do it better, when she criticises ignore, when she moans offer her some brasso for her halo, sneers just grey rock and ignore, bosses again ignore just walk away people like this need an audience if you let what she does go over your head then she loses her power

I have one colleague who I know irritates lots of other colleagues. When she comes to talk to me i nod and smile and plan dinner for that evening.

I had two of these and endured them for about 10 years until they eventually retired. A mat leave in the middle helped (bit drastic).

I sympathise. You can’t control her but you can control your reactions!

You won’t get anywhere with these kinds of colleagues, so I tend to just smile and nod along, be very non-confrontational and think to yourself how sad it is that she’s so insecure in her job that she feels the need to act this way.

If she moans, I’d give a cheery “oh well, it’s not the end of the world!”

If she criticises something, I’d say cheerily “Sandra, you’re the expert so how would you do it differently?”

And for any particularly rude comments, I would follow with “can you explain exactly what you mean by that?”

I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be the only one feeling this way.

Thanks all.
I will try. I try my best to ignore. She thinks she knows it all. God knows why she is working with kids, she has no compassion and likes to be completely obeyed. She and I have very different working methods.
The thing that has made me most angry this week is that she has come into my class because most of the staff have had to self isolate. Even then she knows better than me.
I want to grow a spine and feel pathetic that I let her do this. Sometimes I do gently stand up to her. It's not in my nature to let people do this to me in any other part of my life. I just don't want a horrible atmosphere at work.
I hope you are right that it isn't just me. No one says anything though.

@TorySteller she would have an expert answer to every question I asked. she always knows best, always.

If today is the last day of term, perhaps have the satisfaction of telling her that you are very glad to not be working with someone so unpleasant for the next few weeks.

Don't use the 'I don't want a horrible atmosphere at work' excuse to avoid tackling such behaviour, just pick your moments, and preferably away from the children.

If you are the first to point this out, I bet others will support you.

Give her a 20p coin, when she asks what it's for tell her "use it to call the Samaritans, they care"

If she is belittling you in front of children, ask her whether that is a good role model for them?

@newnortherner111 she belittles the children too- they wouldn’t notice.
She’s one of those people who dominates the staff room loudly telling stories about herself and family. She seems so full of self importance that I can’t help but think she actually feels really shit about herself.

I worked with someone like this. Moan, moan,
moan. No idea why she was working with children either. I actually felt sorry for her by the end of my career. To be so full of negativity is so sad. I think she was so used to being negative that she knew no other way. Every new member of staff she befriended, manipulated and lost. (She was very lazy but pulled the wool over management's eyes. Or cried when challenged).
She once criticised every point I made in a staff meeting I was delivering. At the time I just smiled and thankfully my other colleagues encouraged me to continue.
Looking back, I wish I'd have confronted her. They're just bullies, after all.