Abit of a long one.
Met a man out in the wild. I've never had that feeling before but it was the feeling of I want to know him. Want to learn his story. Want to find out more. I was attracted instantly. He was giving off vibes too and he made a comment on me to a friend which spurred me on.
I added him on Facebook. He messaged. Confirmed who I was. He said he fancied me and thought I was beautiful but thought id not be interested. Found out he was older. Single for 2 years. Last partner was a 9 year relationship. They apparently grew apart. He then told me had two adult daughters in their very early twenties from his first marriage. Overall sounded like a solid guy. Still kept in touch with his ex and she was apparently happy that he had met me. Although after a few weeks of us getting to know eachother i started to question how over her he really was. He was still very much in touch with her. Her gifts were allover his house. He wanted to repeat what they had with me. Every place, restaurant. He started to hint at me to have certain colours and styles of hair and underwear etc. It was always in my mind was that to make me more like her.
Overtime he was getting quite bitter about her. But also bitter over a woman he had slept with after his ex. He was always blocking women online. Making up stories. I went through his photos as you do when you are getting to know someone. there were women liking his pictures the year before all who were no longer on his page.
Overtime he got snappy sometimes. Moods were awful. I started to learn more about his past. Car accidents. Years of battling drink. Chronic pain due to the accident. I noticed he didn't do anything other than work and at weekends he just wanted to sleep.
A couple more months passed and he had started adding new women onto his Facebook and I caught him out perving over photos more than once. I tried to have a serious conversation about us. I told him I didn't mind if I wasn't for him I just wanted to be told so I could move on. His stories never added up at this point and I didn't particularly trust him due to his dramas with women, other males didn't seem to have these problems.
We split as he didn't like me accusing him. I was lost. But I spoke to a member of his family and a woman from his past. They had Alot to say. His family member said I was better off away from him. The other woman told me how he played her like this too. We realised he was messaging us both at the same time.
He came back in may. I wanted answers to all the games and lies. He didn't like it and tried to shut me down. So I contacted the newest woman writing allover his posts. She was cautious but eventually told me they had sex several times over this spring and she slept at his. But he didn't want a relationship with her.
So it seems he came back to poke me after sleeping with her.
He put so much effort in with me at first. We were so equal. Both sharing and helping eachother. Swapped gifts. I told him about my kids but he only met them when I first met him not when we became involved. So he knew he was playing games with our lives not just mine.
I know it sounds absolutely stupid. But his ex and the last lady he slept with whilst on and off with me still are his friends and get on really well with him. But me and him have always had fallings out due to his lies and stories changing. I really hate lies and can't tolerate them. He cheated on his ex too it was not a mutual split. It makes me wonder if I over react.
I feel like he treated me terribly and yet sometimes I wonder if he thought I was an insecure nightmare. Can you see anything in my behaviour here that you would mean I played a part in pushing him away. Or is he the cheating liar I think he Is?