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Original poster

How do people without family help buy houses ??

186 replies

01Username01 · 12/07/2021 15:57

As the title says, how do people who don’t have family help buy houses ?? I’ve been saving for the last 10 years to buy a house and every time I get close, prices seem to jump again and it’s still out of reach.

Me and my partner earn decent salaries and have what I thought was a decent deposit but it just never seems enough. Prices in my area seem to have got totally out of control and 2 bed bungalows are now going up for £650k.

Everyone we know has been given significant deposits (£200k+), whereas we have no family help and it’s starting to feel like it will never happen . Has anyone been able to buy in this situation ?

OP posts:
stayathomer · 13/07/2021 09:30

Sorry hit send too soon. I'd agree perhaps you need to look in a different area. Again I only know 2 people living where I grew up who ended up there. They didn't get help but are the most regimental savers I've ever met, one is single, one married, all amazing jobs and it took years and years

Reallyreallyborednow · 13/07/2021 09:33

I know no one in London who bought without family help. No one

I did.

TwoShades1 · 13/07/2021 09:36

I’m not in the uk. But similar principles apply where I am or first time burgers needing to compromise on some things. Whether that means starting in a whole new area. Or just looking a bit further afield so you have a longer commute. Buying somewhere smaller to start with and maybe somewhere that’s not as nice. If it’s not as nice, you can consider doing some work while you are there so when you come to sell and move somewhere more “ideal” you can get a good profit.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
TheYearOfSmallThings · 13/07/2021 09:43

I know no one in London who bought without family help. No one.

Hello, here I am! And I know lots of other people who have bought here without family help.

We may have bought flats rather than houses, we may have live in the shabby bits of Zone 3, but we definitely exist. And those shabby areas change over time.

Xiaoxiong · 13/07/2021 09:57

I agree that you need to widen your scope of where you're looking to buy. Rightmove has a nifty tool where you can put in locations like work, school, etc and commuting distance so you can find areas which are eg. no more than 1.5 hours travel from work, no more than 30 mins travel from school, etc and it shows you where those areas overlap. I don't know how long your current commute is but mine is 1h15 on a good day and 1h30 if I miss the fast train - this is just par for the course if you live in the SE, almost all my peers with families are the same (or were before the pandemic where we could all happily WFH). The ones who live in central London are in flats, usually with the kids in their bedrooms until they're 5 or so.

If it's commuting to central London, for instance, you can get a 3 bed family home in Langley with off street parking and walking distance to the train station for £400k. That's on the train line to Paddington and on Crossrail too. I know it's still a lot, but it's a lot less than £650 for a 2 bed.

Also, DH and I didn't manage it until we were in our late 30s - not just because of the deposit and needing more time to save, but because we needed to be on higher salaries to show affordability.

Xiaoxiong · 13/07/2021 09:59

(And we're lucky to have bought in our 30s - we have friends our age and older who are not on the property ladder.)

BarbaraofSeville · 13/07/2021 10:35

^The point is what is going on in our society that means you need to do these things in order to afford something as basic as shelter?

Honesty I'm embarrassed for all the pp's who seem to think because they had to do this it's acceptable. It's very mean spirited and doesn't recognise how disfunctional the housing market is here.

I think this is part of a wider social attitude problem. Because I had it shit so should you. Rather than recognising no one should have it shit^

But most of the things people are doing are not 'living on air in the woods', they're just not expecting to live in the perfect house in the perfect area as a FTB.

You do that when you're several steps up the ladder after you've built up equity and possibly also increased your earnings and reduced your costs because you're not in the 'young family, half your money goes on childcare' stage.

As two earners on decent salaries the OP and her partner could probably pick from several properties in commuting distance to their jobs, but it would mean they'd have to compromise on location and/or size of property. Just like most people do.

burritofan · 13/07/2021 11:04

Has OP actually been back or was this an excellent “light blue touch paper and leave” thread to get everyone frothing about FTB expectations of £650k bungalows and competitive deposit-saving misery? Well done, OP – next time throw in a MIL, a dog and a landlord, please.

HmmmmmmInteresting · 13/07/2021 11:10

Nope, she didn't come back. Surprising Grin

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/07/2021 11:14

There have been a lot of these lately.
Can’t speak for this one necessarily but there have been quite a few others.

If they are seriously bored enough to do dump and run posts, I’ve got a fence that needs painting if they have to occupy idle hands 😉

burritofan · 13/07/2021 11:26

A fence? A FENCE? In my area fences are only affordable with family handouts of £500k. Why, even six miles of ancient native hedgerow will set you back £5m and no, I can’t move more than two yards from the hedgerow, nor set my sights on a starter chain link.

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/07/2021 11:28

🤣

Orangesox · 13/07/2021 11:32

Honestly? Bought in a cheap area of the country (Yorkshire), risked it a little bit with a slightly "interesting" mining town and got the best bang for our money. Couldn't have afforded a studio apartment for what we spent on a 4 bed, 3 bathroom, two receptions home with double driveway and detached garage. No brainer.

We could earn double our wages in the South and some, but our quality of life is far improved by the reduction in general living costs by being up North. Simple choice to make for us, we did toy with commuting to the city from our location, but we didn't really want to lose 4-5 hours a day on commuting on top of extremely stressful jobs.

MaverickDanger · 13/07/2021 11:34

Took expat contracts abroad in tax free/low tax countries and lived frugally for our twenties. Saw family rarely.

Had enough to buy our 450k house outright (although we invested it & took out a mortgage instead). Probably have about 750k in investments now in our mid thirties.

thecatsthecats · 13/07/2021 11:44

We live in the Midlands, which I believe has one of the best earnings to house price ratios.

We actually did have family help, but we didn't need it to put down a 20% deposit (took it afterwards as a gift). We earned 35k each at the time of purchase of a 275k 3 bed, but were able to save whilst earning 30k total and living in a nice city centre apartment.

Neondisco · 13/07/2021 12:50

To the people replying to my comments saying oh we're not saying it's acceptable. The tone of most of these comments is either mocking, or a pull yourself up by you boot straps lad,if I can do it you can.

If that wasn't your intention as a few pp's have claimed then perhaps think about the wider context of the market?

I also don't think op was suggesting they buy a 650k bungalow, but using it as an example of the market.

We have a huge problem in this country with not understanding the economic inequalities between generations. People with absolutely no idea if what it's like for young people today think well if I did it you can. When so much has changed.

I'm not surprised op hasn't come back with the I'm alright Jack attitudes here.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 13/07/2021 13:25

@Neondisco

To the people replying to my comments saying oh we're not saying it's acceptable. The tone of most of these comments is either mocking, or a pull yourself up by you boot straps lad,if I can do it you can.

If that wasn't your intention as a few pp's have claimed then perhaps think about the wider context of the market?

I also don't think op was suggesting they buy a 650k bungalow, but using it as an example of the market.

We have a huge problem in this country with not understanding the economic inequalities between generations. People with absolutely no idea if what it's like for young people today think well if I did it you can. When so much has changed.

I'm not surprised op hasn't come back with the I'm alright Jack attitudes here.

Im a 'young' person (35) and managed to get on the property ladder at 28 with no family help. It was hard work and saving.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/07/2021 13:26

Absolutely no I’m all right from me.

I’m actually agreeing with you *neo

StCharlotte · 13/07/2021 13:35

Prices in my area seem to have got totally out of control and 2 bed bungalows are now going up for £650k.

I'm in the SE (within M25). You could buy my 3 bed terrace for £400k.

In answer to your original question, my first property was a new build studio which I bought off olan. The developer "paid" the deposit (i.e. added the 5% to the purchase price effectively), stamp duty and legal fees.

I had a 12% mortgage and everything was second hand and I was constantly broke. No help from parents.

Reallyreallyborednow · 13/07/2021 13:35

Nobody is saying it’s right.

O/p asked how people got on the property ladder without parental help, and the replies have said how. Saving, and adjusting expectations.

Yes property prices are high, but that’s not the discussion the o/p started.

Fact is, the property market being what it is, you can’t just decide to buy a family home in your desired area unless you have significant income.

I haven’t got an “i’m alright jack” vibe from the thread at all, just people sharing their experience and advice on how o/p might find an affordable property.

I suspect the o/p hasn’t come back because the answers weren’t what she wanted to hear. Maybe her intention was to start a discussion around neon’s points about how terrible it is no one can jump into home ownership without sacrifices..

IceLace100 · 13/07/2021 13:40

I haven't got an "alright jack" from this thread.

OP asked how people got on the property ladder without parental help and people have shared how they did that. Which unsurprisingly involves either a. Buying a long time ago, b. Saving hard and going without, and/or c. Lowering expectations in terms of location and condition of your first home.

OP didn't ask whether the current housing crisis was fair! That would be a bit of a boring thread because I think we all know that it's defo not!

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 13/07/2021 13:50

I agree with PPs, the thread hasn't been full of people saying that it's ok for them and to work harder.

I've just had a look at houses for sale within my locality, £150,000 which is achievable for most first time buyers would get a nice 2 bed terrace with a decent back yard. In a decent school area, with access to amenities and enough space to have a spare room for either an office or a nursery. It's not a detached 4 bed with a sprawling garden but it's a perfectly respectable home in an OK area that would require minimal amount of painting to personalise it and would do for a few years to get someone on the property ladder and start a family.

Everyone needs to have realistic expectations of what they can get with what they have.

AnneElliott · 13/07/2021 13:52

I think you start small in a not so nice area, and then work your way up.

I know it's hard when you see everyone else getting help from family but if they can't or won't help then there's not much to be done. Other than saving hard, and going for areas and properties that are less than ideal.

Bluntness100 · 13/07/2021 13:54

Where exactly are you that you can’t buy a property for less than 650?

Lower your expectations and get on thr ladder. That’s how people do it.

Miscarriage39 · 13/07/2021 13:57

Hmm, I’m not sure exactly where you are, but if house prices are really as high as you say, I would imagine you are looking in a very small pocket. I would also suggest looking at different types of property. Bungalows are not normally the cheapest option, so you may need to look at flats and terraced houses.

When we bought in 2012, we had to leave the town we lived as we couldn’t my afford to buy there, and buy a pokey 2up-2down in the least desirable town in the area. It wasn't at all what we wanted, but it got us on the ladder. I would suggest widening your search a bit and looking at what are the cheapest properties available. Dh did a long commute for several years, but that’s as the sacrifice of getting on the housing ladder.