Still really tired and my dcs are older

[Drainedagain2]

Maybe it's the year we have had but I just find that I'm quite tired a lot.... and it actually seems more full on than when our dcs were small. We have 3dcs , 10, 7 and 4 so still young but all sleep great thankfully.. I think this is the main reason I'm surprised, two of my kids slept badly for years and years. One had severe reflux and woke constantly for years and the other would sleep great for a few months but then get a cold or teething etc and sleep would be gone again for months.. So it was literally around 6/7 years of awful sleep. As of last May 2020 they all sleep, all night.. I thought I'd feel amazing but i don't. I find it more demanding all of a sudden than when they were younger. I think I liked the simplicity of when they were small, they were happy to go anywhere, it was all very routined , bed by 7pm. I look at couples now with a small baby and think how simple it is, how easy it is to just go for a walk with the buggy.
I do love that they are older and play for ages and are so interesting and can get themselves dressed etc but hate the constant arguments about where we are going, what we are doing. I think this has really come up as a result of the pandemic. My dcs are all very active so if we try to have at home, chilled days it never works. They do loads of sports and swimming at their own request but when me and my dh want to go for a walk in the woods etc, they just complain and moan constantly before and I find it so wearing..particularly this is lead by my 10 year old. I don't let him dictate, I just find it disappointing tbh..It's every single time too, I do loads that he wants to do but he will kick off and moan continuously when we say we are going to the beach, forest etc . He has a good time when there but does this behaviour every time. I expected this at more teenage age so Im a bit surprised tbh and find it all exhausting.

It just hit me today as two of my friends had their first baby recently and say how tired they are and I empathetised and insisted that it gets much easier but actually it didn't really for me tbh ... Just wondering if anyone out there feels the same..

I just thought I'd feel so much better by this stage tbh..

I’d consider getting some blood tests, I just found out why I’m so tired and it’s a simple fix with tablets for 3 months.
The 10 year old is acting a bit spoilt right now, but don’t let it ruin your plans. They will come along, and they won’t whinge, or they will lose X/Y/Z. Gentle consequences and firm boundaries? I’m sure you’re doing this already but it’s nice to have the reminder it’s the right thing to do!

You're now in the primary years, it's boring, tiring and you still don't have freedom. It's packed lunches, uniforms and whats for dinner every night.

Its a myth that the baby stage is the most tiring - you are right that stage is actually the simplest!

It just gets more tiring in a different way as they get older. There's so much more that you have to think about/ organise/ arrange. And so much more "work" involved.
I'm not even going to mention the teen years....

Thanks for your messages, I do suffer from heavy periods (always have done but worse since 3 kids) and have had very low ferritin. Had everything fully investigated and take iron and other supplements and go running regularly which really helps but still find myself v tired, I think maybe it's all the interaction. Kids are off here for 8 weeks now and things just seem a lot less simple.
Yes, we very consistent and firm and we still do stuff regardless. They all get up really early regardless of when they go to bed so all up before 7am and yes the older one is independent but we have to be up with 4 year old.

It's worth getting updated blood tests if your doctor doesn't automatically suggest that. My iron levels have gone up but my doctor has insisted I book another blood test for 3 months time to make sure they don't flatten again.

Also, are you an introvert? Because personally, I absolutely love the kids being a bit older but sometimes I do jut find it completely overwhelming. The endless questions. The endless noise. Multiple people wanting my attention at once. Dh is very good about understanding that and he'll happily send me upstairs on a saturday afternoon to watch tv while he either entertains the kids or just hangs around downstairs but being the person they go to if they want something.

The single biggest thing that has changed things for me (and obviously, this is based on MY personality so isn't necessarily right for everyone but figuring it out and implementing it has been amazing) is that at leats a couple of times a week, DH gets up and makes me a cup of tea and I have 15 minutes in bed. For me, not having to go from dead asleep to rushing around is such a relief. The other days I get up a bit earlier and DH loves being able to sleep a few extra minutes. It really helps both of us.

@MissyB1 that's exactly it and it's not rose tinted spectacles as my 4 year is only just 4 . I still look and feel exhausted tbh and we are 36 so old but not that old!
I guess when you have babies /toddlers there's not constant talking or arguing about what you're going to do! You can tuck them up at 7pm! My dcs are great kids and we ate v lucky tbh..I think its the year that we have, long holidays , still juggling work and we have no family support.

My dh is actually great and takes them off camping for weekends so I can't complain. I'm definitely an introvert and while I love the relationship me and my dcs have now they are older I find the constantness difficult. I think as an introvert the baby bit can be quite easy as it's very easy in a way. But I do love spending time with my dcs now as we can have conversations etc.

My updated bloods showed my ferritin had increased a lot but honestly didn't get this boost of energy I thought would happen at all..