Here I am in bed crying once again and wanted to pen a letter to all the women dating deadbeat dads.
I was once you. DH had two dc, one from a one night stand that he saw rarely and one that was less than a year old when we began dating who to this day he has never met.
I am ashamed to admit that I thought I would be different and my dc would be treated differently. He told me that he never wanted anything serious with those other women, that he could never bring them home, that they were crazy and just after his money. But me, with my private education, Oxbridge, and middle class upbringing would be different. We could start a "real family". He could bring me into his extended family and feel proud.
I believed all this and more from him. I am ashamed that I never held him accountable and if I am honest, I was embarrassed and ashamed of the very existence of the other mothers and their dc.
Fast forward, he treats me and our dc the same exact way. I am not special, those other relationships were not the aberration. In fact this is exactly who he is and what he is like.
I feel terrible for the way I judged others. And selfishly I feel terrible for my own dc that I chose such a shit dad for them. For various reasons we will not be divorcing and for this and more I sit here crying on a Saturday night.
So let this serve as a warning. You won't be any different. Any man capable of abandoning any previous children will do the same to yours.