Present idea . In refuge

[Littlelegs2]

Hi my Gs is in a refuge with dd. It's not his birthday till December then there is Xmas to think about as well. I Need to start thinking about what to get him. As I have lots to buy for. Normally I would get him lots of toys etc. But its a bit difficult this time. I thought about getting lego land tickets or simlar but then his birthday is Dec so it will all be closed . He will be 4.

What about a treat like trip to the cinema or panto? An outing they can do away from the refuge.

@TSSDNCOP

What about a treat like trip to the cinema or panto? An outing they can do away from the refuge.

I don't think he would sit to watch it. He's quite hyper.

I'd suggest you set the money aside and wait. I don't think a three or four year old will understand much about being in a refuge (particularly if they're in self-contained space) but if there's a possibility they might move out into their own home before December you might want to give him something specific to that.

(Also, he and his mother might appreciate some new distractions now, as well ...)

@Edmontine

I'd suggest you set the money aside and wait. I don't think a three or four year old will understand much about being in a refuge (particularly if they're in self-contained space) but if there's a possibility they might move out into their own home before December you might want to give him something specific to that.

(Also, he and his mother might appreciate some new distractions now, as well ...)

It's just a room. They won't have a home for a very long time when refuge time comes to an end she will probably end up in temporary accommodation after . It's a real pain having a December birthday 😬

I’d get him one toy and give the rest of the money you would have spent on him to your DD to pay for a solicitor or things for her new home.

@C0RINNA

I’d get him one toy and give the rest of the money you would have spent on him to your DD to pay for a solicitor or things for her new home.

She won't get a new home. She will be in refuge then likely temporary accommodation. And about a 3/4 year wait for social housing.

I agree with putting the money aside - maybe open a savings accout? So when he’s a bit older it can help buy a bigger ticket item

It used to be the case that a refuge could transfer you to somewhere else in the country. Is that not possible for your daughter? It's a shame she isn't in one that consists of self contained flats, or at worst a shared house.

As others have suggested, you may need to put your money and effort into helping her improve the situation more rapidly, rather than worrying about a December birthday.

I would wait until nearer the time, then ask your dd what he actually needs or wants. 6 months is a long time for him to change what he likes and sizes etc.

But pretty much anything small that doesn’t take up much space in room. Clothing he might need, nice art stupplies, book, small lego set ( and small container to put it in), or something like football or tennis rackets and ball they can go out and use at park.

Adult wise, we have a good friend in a refuge a few years ago with her baby. Gifted a gift card for local cafe so she could go and get a change of scenery each week away from the small room.

If you know she’s going to stay in the same general area, have a look online for places he might like to go that do vouchers or annual passes or you could just give the money to your DD. Going to places he can run around and get some of that energy out, like a soft play centre for rainy days, would be great if she’s stuck in one room with him.

@Ghosttile

If you know she’s going to stay in the same general area, have a look online for places he might like to go that do vouchers or annual passes or you could just give the money to your DD. Going to places he can run around and get some of that energy out, like a soft play centre for rainy days, would be great if she’s stuck in one room with him.

That's a good idea thank-you