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Original poster

DC staying up later than me - I need a padlock for the kitchen!!

27 replies

JMAngel1 · 10/07/2021 08:13

Really cross this morning. I made dinner/dessert last night and had cleaned and tidied kitchen - I headed upstairs at 8.30pm as I love to relax in bath/bedroom before I go to sleep - usually have to be asleep 9.30-10ish as up early and perimenopause draining my energy.
DH stayed up with DDs and they came up around 9.30pm.
In that hour they have trashed the kitchen - I’ve come down this morning to popcorn all over floor, watermelon juice everywhere and the remaining half of watermelon just left on side - not in fridge or wrapped. A cake I had made and put (hidden!) in a tin has been attacked, crumbs everywhere and the lid not resecured DH has left rinds of cheese on chopping board so this is not just a child issue!
There are more glasses/cups/plates/bowls just left strewn around living room and kitchen.
Getting fed up with coming down first thing to a dirty messy kitchen - wish I could put a padlock on but it’s all open plan
Anyone else relate/got any solutions? I’ve just had shrugged shoulders this morning from DH and DDs - “it was Friday night - just having a movie night

what’s the problem?”

OP posts:

Mull · 10/07/2021 08:15

Have you cleaned it up? I would be going nowhere near the kitchen until they had sorted out the mess that they made!

Postdatedpandemic · 10/07/2021 08:16

Go out for breakfast, by yourself.
Refuse to clean the kitchen and don't cook anything until they have returned the room to its proper state.

Bksjshsbbev2737 · 10/07/2021 08:16

They need to tidy it up this morning

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CheerfulYank · 10/07/2021 08:18

Then they have to clean it.

Sleepingdogs12 · 10/07/2021 08:18

That's just rude, go out and leave them to it.

autumnboys · 10/07/2021 08:18

I would be doing nothing in that kitchen for anyone until they have cleared up after themselves. Particularly poor behaviour from your husband; does he usually view you as live in staff?

BarbaraofSeville · 10/07/2021 08:18

Go out to a coffee shop for breakfast and don't come back until evidence has been supplied that the situation has been rectified.

VariantL1130 · 10/07/2021 08:19

I'd refuse to provide any meals for them until they clean up.

romdowa · 10/07/2021 08:20

Did you point out that the problem is the fact they left the kitchen in a heap? Stop being their personal cleaner. My aunt used to bring the cooked meat for Sunday dinner to bed with her on a Saturday night because she knew her 3 sons would come home from the pub and devour it , leaving nothing for the next day.

GlencoraP · 10/07/2021 08:20

The problem is not that they had movie night the problem is that they didn’t clean up . This. We’d to be spelled out

ineedaholidaynow · 10/07/2021 08:21

I hope you didn’t clean it up

HelloDulling · 10/07/2021 08:21

The people who made the mess need to clean it up. Go out and get a coffee, or just go back upstairs until it’s done.

Cocopogo · 10/07/2021 08:22

I could do with a padlock on mine and have seriously considered it since DD left the freezer door open all night…again and DS eats everything

VettiyaIruken · 10/07/2021 08:23

I hope you told them that the problem is they didn't clean up their mess.

I REALLY hope you didn't clean it for them!

BarbaraofSeville · 10/07/2021 08:25

There was a thread last week where the OP had a locked cupboard in her kitchen and most people thought it was strange. Would have saved the cake in this situation.

You can get fridges with locks on but they're designed for laboratories and are probably far more expensive than similar household equivalents.

Original poster

JMAngel1 · 10/07/2021 08:28

Oh god know I made them clean it up and wouldn’t let them have breakfast until it was done.

I just find it amazing how much damage they can do in an hour and also how much they can eat - it’s making me worried for future years as they’re only 11 and 9 now.
How does it all work (not just food and kitchen) as kids get older and go to bed later and later than parents. I’m worried about what they might get up to, noise levels and yes, we will have no food!

OP posts:

StiffyByng · 10/07/2021 08:32

Your OP wasn’t quite what I expected as I have a nocturnal teenager who visits the kitchen at 2am, cooks smelly Pot Noodles and wakes us all up, devours all food like a locust, regardless of the rest of us, and leaves fridge/freezer open regularly. And it drives me insane.

But your husband was there with them. It’s him I would be furious with. He was the adult.

It will get worse though I’m afraid.

Original poster

JMAngel1 · 10/07/2021 08:36

@StiffyByng
Oh god, this is what I fear! I would hate being woken up in night for a reason like that.
Parenting is just cycles of unbroken sleep it seems irrespective of age of child.
All this is making me more resolute to do a loft conversion so I can move up there and be far removed from the noise as they hit the teenage years.
But I need to nip as much in the bud now as possible re tidying after themselves - or it’s only going to get worse.

OP posts:

Postdatedpandemic · 10/07/2021 08:38

Demand your DH remembers to be the adult responsible for the kitchen and DC.

Teach your DC how to make a healthy snack meal (often a noodle concoction). And clean up after.

Do not train your daughters to be servants for your DH or any other male.

Kanaloa · 10/07/2021 08:51

Tell your husband to clean up his mess and supervise his children? I wouldn’t really blame this on the kids as kids will often be messy if allowed. If I let my 11 & 9 year olds, they would leave the kitchen a mess, but I wouldn’t allow it, and your husband shouldn’t either.

Cattitudes · 10/07/2021 08:59

Good that they tidied up but they also need to help make the cake again.

StrawberrySquirrelThief · 10/07/2021 09:03

Why are your kids getting all the blame here? Your DH was still up & is the responsible adult - what’s he done about the mess?

Original poster

JMAngel1 · 10/07/2021 09:15

Yes you’re absolutely right re DH but he was up and out for work by 5.30am so I haven’t seen him about it. Don’t worry, I will be having words.

OP posts:

SometimesIFeedTheSparrows · 10/07/2021 09:25

Leave the mess. If DH is at work, make the kids clean it up. If he gets nothing but "she made us clean up your mess" when he gets in, all the better.
Get them to make a new cake.
Find a better hiding place for cake.

My inspiration is my neighbour who once left a clean and tidy house with full fridge to go away with her sister and returned to a trashed house with piles of washing and zero food. She went to stay in a hotel until the house was returned to the state in which she left it. It didn't happen again.

Currently I am not washing the clothes of anyone who hasn't tidied away their last lot of clean clothes. Next step is they get their own laundry bins and it's all down to them. I've also out a lock on my toilet so that I always have one with toilet paper and a clean seat and floor. I've tried arguing, teaching, pleading and I've had enough.

Enko · 10/07/2021 09:29

Put foot down over not cleaning that needs dealing with. Personally we had a rule they sis not touch stuff that was on 1 specific shelf in fridge without permission and cakes were not started unless I had specifically said it was ok.

They are now 17 -23 and still ask if they can use x /open Y before they do so. We still have the dont touch shelf and it works well

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