Everyone thinks I’m ok and organised and I’m not

[TheyAlLthinkimok]

I’m literally fighting depression and being overwhelmed

Growing up I was told by DM ‘if anyone ever asks are you ok you lie and say you are even if you’re not as nobody wants to hear’
So that’s what I’ve done.

I’m not ok. I have far far too much to do.
Too much work, too much housework. Mid renovation. Ill parents. Physical health issues myself. Financial concerns
, insomnia and the list goes on

People see me as someone who is coping and I have become a ‘yes person’ and now when ive started to say no it’s met with shock then I feel guilty and I don’t want to be letting anyone down but I’m at breaking point

You can’t be there for anyone if you’re not looking after yourself.
Give yourself permission to look after yourself first, then prioritise your time and deal with the things you need to.

You’ve got your ‘headings’, so try to put your aims or lists of task under each one. This way, things feel less overwhelming.

Can you delegate anything to family?
Enlist any friends you can. There is absolutely no shame in asking for help. It sounds like you’d do the same for others.

I feel like for some long people have seen me dealing with things ok and being able to hell others that now it’s an expected thing as I’ve always said yes.
I’m exhausted

You'd be letting more people down if you carry on as you and and make yourself (even more) ill.
Please continue to say no, stop doing everything that isn't absolutely necessary and get people to help with what's left.

There’s no one to help me ! I’m trying to get all of my things done plus helping others and I can’t. There’s just not enough time in the day

Today I’ve said to dm ‘look. I set up your online shopping months ago, I’ll show you again how to do it I can’t do your shopping for you anymore’ as she wants it In small amounts in the week but it takes up to 1.5 hours out of my day and I’m constantly rushing about. Likewise she needs to use her gp online system
She just refuses to use anything online.

Have a neighbour who seems to send her dc round and I end up looking after them so I’ve locked the gate this weekend and already she’s text saying ‘dc is knocking on the gate ? Is everything ok? Can he come in I’m doing a deep clean today so thought he can play in your garden I’m watching out the window !! ‘

Well done op. That’s progress.
I hope you told your neighbour that you’re busy too. The cheek.

Keep saying no. You'll get better at it and people will stop treating you like a doormat. The cheek of your neighbour!

You need to learn to say no and/ or lie.

"Sorry kids can't play as I'm going out / am sick / something "