Have I been ghosted?

[BeachPicture]

Friends moved away, we always send them birthday cards and presents, kids and adults. Fair enough people don’t always send adult presents back, or even a card, that’s fine it’s just something I like to do.

But I never receive a thank you for anything, I don’t even know if the presents arrive for the kids unless I ask if it turned up if the tracing isn’t obvious.

Recent birthday came and went and this time but even a text or generic happy birthday message in Facebook. So I’ve clearly done something to be ghosted over. I would happily want to be told to make amends, or just leave it at that. I would hate to have ruined a once good friendship over something I was unaware of. There are things I think it could be from the past, but don’t know whether to apologise for everything.

Maybe I just keep sending the kids presents and drop the adults birthdays. The kids aren’t going to respond they’ve received the presents but I would feel bad stopping that.

Maybe I’m just a shit person!

Why would you keep sending presents to be people who you aren't even properly in contact with any more
Sometimes friendships peter out
Nobody's shit in that situation just life happens
I'd stop contacting and move on

You don’t sound like a shit person at all. They might not have actually fallen out with you, they might just be rude, self centred types that only care about those immediately in their lives at that moment. I’d stop with the presents at this point personally. Or just send cards and little gift vouchers for the kids for another year or two.

I’m not going to stop the kids, cards and gift vouchers seem about right. When they come this way they don’t visit us but when we go to them they seem to still want to meet up.

I’m sure there’s a reason for it, and I would like the chance to apologise. I think I’ve worked out as an adult I might be on the autistic spectrum so I’m sure there’s a lot of things I should apologise for in the past. But maybe I’m just a shit friend and things drift apart and the adults don’t want birthday cards 😂

Why are you son convinced it's you?
Maybe they've had a tough time for the last year with everything that's happened
Maybe your friendship has just drifted because of time and distance

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong at all

But I wouldn’t keep pushing it sounds like they’ve moved on a bit

If it only continues with your effort it’s not really there

I'd cut the contact. Are you sure they even live at that address anymore?

You’ve probably done nothing wrong . Distance and time has just put a hold on your friendship . If they wanted to stay in touch they would . I would stop with all the gifts and cards , maybe they are a bit embarrassed that you still send them and don’t want to make a point of thanking you because they haven’t and don’t want to send to you .
You may just need to move on and accept the friendship isn’t what it was sadly .
I wouldn’t be sending anything else for either adult or child .

@BeachPicture

I’m not going to stop the kids, cards and gift vouchers seem about right. When they come this way they don’t visit us but when we go to them they seem to still want to meet up.

I’m sure there’s a reason for it, and I would like the chance to apologise. I think I’ve worked out as an adult I might be on the autistic spectrum so I’m sure there’s a lot of things I should apologise for in the past. But maybe I’m just a shit friend and things drift apart and the adults don’t want birthday cards 😂

The parents are obviously rude and the children shaping up to be the same if the parents don't even enable the children to acknowledge the gifts. My ds is 15 and from about age 5, i taught him to phone and thank family for his gifts. Since he was 10 he has always independently texted his thanks. I stopped my 3 nephews gifts when they were all aged about 15 (just sending cards until 18) because they never acknowledged anything, never thanked us and even now in their 2Os with great jobs have never even sent a card independently of their parents.

I'd stop sending things too but it doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong just the friendship has drifted.

Absolutely distance and time will have made a difference to friendships. I’m not in contact with everyone who I’ve ever been friends with. I think I’m just more sensitive to not being acknowledged.

Yes they still live at the same address, we have visited recently to see the kids.

I will stop the adults cards and presents and just keep sending the kids. The kids even if not acknowledging our presents will be upset if we sent nothing. I dont expect a thankyou even from the kids as that’s not why I send them things. It’s just been when tracking says “left in a safe place or neighbour” so I’ve had to ask if they have them in case they don’t know they were left securely in a bin or something or weren’t told a neighbour had it.

@MarshaBradyo

I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong at all

But I wouldn’t keep pushing it sounds like they’ve moved on a bit

If it only continues with your effort it’s not really there

I think if I didn’t put in more effort then I wouldn’t have any of the friendships I do have. Although I have recognised in the past when friendships were one way and I was taken advantage of and they’ve ended