Child very distressed about insects and animals coming to harm

[Lavenderpillow]

My very anxious 10 year old has recently become incredibly worried about animals. He has stopped eating meat and has fish or vegan alternatives which is fine but he also cries about other people eating meat. I’ve had the discussion with him about unfortunately other people do eat it and that’s their choice but he is very upset if someone else in the house eats any meat.
He also gets very upset about insects. If we are trying to get a fly out of the house he gets very distressed about it being hurt, and about tiny insects getting hurt in the garden. Yesterday while trying to help an injured bee he accidentally stepped on a snail and cried his eyes out.
I don’t know if this is just a phase or unusual? He is very anxious also about our pets escaping the house )they’re very timid and wouldn’t, plus the doors are kept shut) and also tells me not to die when I’m putting him to bed. So I don’t know if this is all an awareness of death or not.
Advice??

I was like this around 8 years old until 10 or so. I think I dealt with it by learning about nature, going out to woods and watching attenborough, ray mears etc. It was also to some extent a phase but I still dont get pets from fearing of them escaping or getting hurt, find past memories or fictional depictions of animals dying extremely painful but i do eat meat and fish if its game or herded like reindeer. Its probably just they has too much empathy, i was also very anxious and found others discomfort or embarrassment physically painful. It can be a symptom of autism ive been told and i do have ADHD

Does this article on OCD ring any bells?

I hope it's just the phase because his anxiety sounds off the chart and he crying about a snail is a massive overreaction (which is normal when children first learn about death, but no so much if it carries on).

Did he see/hear/read something recently about dying and deaths?

I think telling him that people unfortunately eat meat is just wrong, sorry. there's no need to fuel the fire.
Instead I'd definitely try to educate him about the fact that death happens everywhere in nature and that it's a sad but a normal part of life.

my dad was a police officer so I know what it's like to worry when your parent leaves the house with a real possibility of never returning.
so if that is what you leaving every time makes him feel like I think I'd like the opinion of a child psychologist, because there's no real danger only his fears so I'd want to find out what causes them to deal with them.
I'm sorry he's suffering.

*you leaving every time
^^ I meant leaving the room as you are putting him in bed

sorry. got distracted

Its a lovely quality to be sensitive to the suffering of other living things.

I’d consult a child psychologist though to better understand and contextualise what’s going on for him. It does sound extreme and the anxiety would bother me.

He sounds extremely sensitive and anxious bless him, I could certainly believe he could be on the spectrum although there'd have to be more to it than those two things! Although not understanding that others feel differently (about eating meat) could also be a sign. I remember when my son found out that the badger sleeping in the road wasn't actually asleep......he was much younger at the time but also has asd.

Whatever this is though it is impacting his daily life so I think it's time to speak to someone about it, I would really bang home what a big deal this is and the impact it has on him though otherwise you might just get brushed off unless you have a sympathetic doctor, unfortunately you sometimes have to make a bit of a fuss to get anywhere.

Sounds very extreme, maybe discuss with professionals, are there any other ASD signs?

Regarding ASD, I mean I don’t know. Other things that have stuck out to me are his stammer and clumsiness. He does ok in school generally.

I like the idea suggested by a PP - you could learn about nature together. Not specifically to teach about survival of the fittest or the food chain, but these things will come up as part of it.

I think this about anxiety and trying to control factors in life. I'd definitely look at some counselling as it's impacting on every day life significantly.