I am contemplating a move interstate, but I need help as there are so many factors to consider...
In January 2019 I moved from my home city A to a new city B with my now husband.
City A has my family and all of our close friends, but we had a work opportunity in City B where cost of living is much cheaper. In City A we could barely afford an apartment, and here in City B we have bought a 3 bedroom house close to the CBD and in a great location. This is good for me as I work from home.
I had never even been to city B before and knew no one. It turns out we love city B, but it's very very hard to meet people and build a social network here from scratch.
Obviously 2020 was hard to meet people due to world events, but even so in the 2.5 years we've been here I've only made two friends and I've only hung out with them twice. They're both very busy mums (I'm child free and a bit younger) and I have a chronic illness which makes getting out there and meeting people through classes etc difficult. I've tried art classes as a way to meet people but my health is just not there to commit to a regular time which would facilitate meeting people. My husband has friends through work, but he gets his social needs during work hours so doesn't feel the need to hang out much with people outside work. I love spending time with my husband, but I feel lonely and far from my family and friends back home in city A (it's a two day drive or a 2.5 hour flight, and right now we aren't allowed to travel there).
I plan to try and sign up to some more activities if my health allows to try and meet people, but I don't feel I have enough social support here and I am feeling very lonely. It would take a long time for me to get to the point of friendship I need due to my limitations.
Enter city C. I was born there, and both my husband and I can see ourselves living there at some stage. I haven't lived there since I was seven. I have cousins and an aunty and uncle there, a large family friend group with people who have known me my whole life, as well as some scattered school friends from city A who moved there. It is a 9 hour drive from City A where my parents and siblings are, and my closest friends. It's a 1-1.5 hour flight.
Moving back to City A is unlikely as our quality of life overall is not as good there, cost of living is through the roof, traffic is terrible etc. We definitely couldn't afford a house. I don't miss City A as a place, but I do miss having social support.
I am tempted to move to City C. We could both get work there, and could afford to buy a house like we have in City B. We would have instant social support on arrival, and I expect we could then build upon those already existing connections. I also would see my family in City A more as they could drive to us or us to them in a day. City C is also a short drive to a holiday town my family frequents often.
Here are some possible cons moving:
Moving to City C would be an expensive process. We really like our house here and I'm hesitant to sell it, I would love to keep it as an investment, but that would limit our options.
City C is also notoriously hot and humid, compared with our current city. I worry if that will make my health worse. But I have no idea? (On a positive note, we may be able to get a place with a pool).
In City B where we are now, I can get everything I need a short walk from our house: grocery stores, pharmacy, retail stores, restaurants, cafes are less than 10 minutes walk. It's unlikely I would be able to find something like this in City C and I don't drive. Learning to drive is a possibility but is difficult for me due to my health.
It seems overall, no matter what city I live in, I obviously can't have everything. So what's more important?
City A provides social support I've always had, but a low quality of life otherwise and I would be stuck in a very small apartment. I work from home, and space is important to me, so this would be hard.
City B provides a good quality of life, nice weather, a nice house and close to amenities. But I'm lacking social support and am lonely.
City C would provide a new type of social support from which I could build. We could afford a reasonable sized house, but may be further from amenities. The cost of moving there is not insignificant.
What do you all think?