I never do anything productive with my evenings

[Funatlast]

I rarely go out in the evenings (single parent, one child at home) so I have plenty of time to get things done around the house but never bother. I might watch half an hour of tv or read a book but mostly just waste time scrolling on the internet.

I feel like I wish I could achieve something eg clear out a cupboard, sort out paperwork, clean the microwave, wash the kitchen floor but I can never motivate myself. I don’t even do a hobby.

All those hours wasted when my house could be sorted and tidy. Are you someone who dosses around like me or do you do chores and activities in the evening?

Are we supposed to?

I seem to have missed another memo.

Balls to that. I'm watching The Americans on Disney+ in the evenings. Its very good.

You are doing something.... you are relaxing, chilling out. Fit your own health and sanity, having some time to yourself and switching off is important

For not fit

Can I swap please!

I rush from work to stables whilst DH collects DD from nursery. I get home about 7pm then the bedtime routine takes a good 1-2hrs. Then it’s supper, I get about an hour of TV plus sorting laundry etc then collapse in bed. Fecking knackered.

I'm a massive dosser too, I think I should be doing hobbies or housework but I just mess around on my phone most of the night. I do have more energy to get stuff done on weekends.

I used to feel like this. Now I love that 2 hours watching trash tv and flicking through my phone. I'm so buy fro 6:30am - 8pm that time is good time to just be!!!

Does love island count? Seriously though, don’t beat yourself up. Resting is a thing. By the time I get kids in bed etc it takes all I’ve got left to make a cup of tea and clamber onto the couch.

I’m you. I could have written this. Thing is, I feel frustrated and want to be more motivated. But I’m not. Maybe I’m too tired or too lazy or, I don’t know. Want to change but never do. Stupid really. Think I feel too overwhelmed so that it doesn’t feel worth doing something small

I usually set up watching tv or YouTube.... I have a disease that causes me a whole array of issues, I work in the morning, school run( we walk as I don’t drive) chores, cooking and cleaning and then the kids go to bed and I just chill.... I’m all good until I stop for longer than 10 minutes.

Do both, get jobs done then chill out. Best of both worlds.

Oh god me too. I don’t even have the excuse of young kids, my 2 are older teens.

I have zero hobbies and don’t do anything except work, eat, watch telly, sleep, repeat.

I always think I could never enter a quiz show as I would have no answer when the host asks the contestants what they do to relax.

Not that I’d enter a quiz show, I’m too lazy.

Nah do all your productive shit in the day. Then when you've managed to feed clothe and bed your dependant(s) chill.
AKA preparing for sleep or mindfulness or who the fuck is judging you about this anyway?
I could decorate my living room every night as it's not very big. I won't. Because that steals my nightly slump.

Enjoy it and stop looking for things to berate yourself over

I feel better now!

But scrolling on MN is very productive. You can learn all sorts . Or, maybe help another poster.

Dosser here too. I mean my son went to bed at 6.30pm. I put out one load of laundry to dry. That’s it. I’m not entirely sure I can list what I’ve done.

I could have written your post. I don’t think Covid has helped, I think there’s many people in this position. I do think I should be doing something better with my time and lie in bed later thinking tomorrow I will be more motivated. I’m now overweight too which isn’t good for my health so wish I could do something more constructive

If I need to get stuff done I switch off the internet. It's peculiar what happens. There's this deafening silence for a few minutes (even though the internet doesn't make a noise, it's like something in the room has stopped breathing), and I look round suspiciously as if I've just hatched out of an egg. Then I suddenly start doing something, and before I know it, an hour has gone and loads of stuff is done.

You don't have to try to do anything. Just remove your distractions.

But... it's good to relax.

Time is so easily wasted. We all need chill-out time, but by posting this obviously you are feeling dissatisfied with yourself over this.

Why not make a short list on the calendar? Tuesday's job is clean one drawer in the kitchen. Wednesday bake something healthy, etc. If it is just a few little things a week it doesn't seem too overwhelming. Carve out a fun session for yourself, whether it is knitting, doing a puzzle, get your sketchpad out and draw something.

Small steps, and you may start to feel more fulfilled.

I agree Covid hasn’t helped. During the lockdowns last year I lost my routine completely, not to mention the little social life I had. It’s put me in a lazy slump.

Yes good idea to do even a small thing each evening.

Also as a pp suggested, switching the internet off would make a massive difference but I feel slightly panicky at the thought.

Does having sex count? I feel productive if I squeeze in some nookie !

@Cleebope2

Does having sex count? I feel productive if I squeeze in some nookie !

Time actually stops when you have sex, so it can't be a waste of time.

@Funatlast

Yes good idea to do even a small thing each evening.

Also as a pp suggested, switching the internet off would make a massive difference but I feel slightly panicky at the thought.

Do it in little chunks. Do half an hour tomorrow evening. Don't link it to 'being productive' - that comes on its own, once you get the hang of the deafening silence. To begin, switching the internet off is your productive thing. You'll look blankly at the walls, and probably eat something by mistake, but it's a good track to put yourself on.

I used to be lazy did naff all other than tv, drink, eat and sleep when i was in my early 20's then i got a FT job, BF, got married and family and most days are busy and glad to get a bit of tv in and surfing on the net